Things you do not want to hear on an airplane.

"Good evening ladies & gentlemen, this is you're captain speaking. You may have noticed your seatbelt signs are on, but don't worry, we've only come across a bit of a wager here in the cockpit. My co-pilot here has 50 bucks that says I can't get this baby into a barrel roll without the wings falling off. Well that's $50 he won't be seeing again, may the rest of your flight be pleasent & safe. Captain out."
 
WARNING: If you do not watch This HOur has 22 Minutes or Royal Canadian Air Farce you might not understand the following.

"THank you for flying Canada 3000 Due to cutbacks we have had to cancel the inflight movie" *passengers groan* "Instead we will have Seline Deon singing live over the com system." *passengers begin to panic* "Ear phones can be bought for $1 a pair from our flight atendedents" *flight attendents are mobbed by the passengers*

(NOTE: I can't remember if it was Air Canada or Canada 3000 that went bankrupt)
 
Don´t worry about the air conditioning being on fire, it will still keep the plane warm.
 
O I loved that movie.

The best part:

When the guy named Striker is on the shuttle. (I think it was the sequel)
Back at home the captain man is repeating his name because he's trying to think of him. He's saying to himself, then louder and louder (as he understands who it is. Then another guy punches a woman. :lol:
 
"I picked the wrong week to quit smoking".
"I picked the wrong week to stop drinking"
"I picked th wrong week to quit amphetamines"
"I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue"
*Sniffs glue, then descends from ceiling, and throws himself out of window*.
 
"We claim no responsiability for lost-luggage or head injuries caused by said luggage falling out of the airplane onto the owrlds largest orphanage's soccer field, thank you for flying Value-Lines."
 
Oh: And this is something that really did happen. It was in january 1993, on a Northwest flight from LAX. Our plane was delayed, and nobody really had a clue whatfor. All passengers had been long in their seats, but the plane wouldn't leave. A common explination would be ordinary plane congestion, but that wasn't it. Just to be really sure, sometechnical checks had to be conducted.

After 2 hours, a man wearing an flashy yellow overall with grease marks all over it, having a toolbox in his hand, entered the plane at the back and shouted to the front, to the pilots, that things were allright now.....
 
"I though we had more fuel than that."
"Oh, this does not look good."
"What do you mean, no I don't have a liscence?"
"I wonder what this button does."
 
"I knew they shouldn't used for plastic for that..."
"Now you tell me I shouldn't put liquids up there!"
 
MattII said:
"I wonder what this button does."
Click to expand...
Lol the worst thing to hear in any vehicle"i wonder what this button does?" (explosion from behind seat)
 
I read, on wiki, a story about an Ameircan airplane refueling in Canada or something. they used metric, and imperial, so someone scewed up with the fuels.
This huge jumbo jet suddenly ran out of fuel, middair. Worse, the whole airplane electronics, from the cockpit, is run off the engines.
The pilotslanded thios crippled airliner on a raceway :eek:
 
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