Episode 8: Click the spoiler if you want to know!
Guess what folks? Its time for an update!
In this episode: Warfare continues its exciting course into a new
chapter of chaos and destruction! Carnage, looting, city torching, all
the good stuff you have come to expect but the most important of All:
...
Here's what happened:
We concluded the last episode with a portrait of the Evil Qin Shi Huang (aka Mr.China Man) just as he was receiving yet another declaration of war. ( He must have quite a collection of them by now).
Of course this war was a bit rushed because it could not wait, so it was rushed... hmm yeah... As in all rushed things there were some side effects. We mean by that massive human sacrifices in the hundreds of thousands. Mostly Chinese folks of course! All of this so we could have a couple more catapults and a few more Helliphants! on the field.
Our glorious army is once again walking in Chinese territory. The first target will be those layabout good-for-nothing Spearmen. Then of course the town of Hangzhou will be assaulted.
Those spearmen were no big deal for our mean Axemen. After a brief siege, our army quickly takes care of that eyesore called Hangzhou. Of course it is razed since everybody agreed that it was polluting the scenery. Our glorious Helliphant!Riders proved very effective for the task!
After a very brief rest, reinforcements join our army and we march again to put the new Chinese capital under siege. The defenders, stunned by our catapults, are about to get literally crushed!
Their weakened position followed by our ferocious assault left them no chances. The city is captured and there was no significant casualties on our side, all the units are still standing.
One of our Helliphant!Rider showed exceptional skill and bravado during the taking of the capital. He is said to have single-handedly dispatched several dozens of the enemy defenders during the initial attack. He was first to break through the defenses and enter the city where he headed straight for the palace. He entered the building from a huge breach made by catapults and rode his Helliphant! right through the palace while setting it afire. When he finally emerged on the other side, his nacelle was filled to the brim with riches and gold and he had Qin Shi Huang's personal adviser impaled upon his Helliphant!'s tusks. Seeing their first imperial adviser skewered on the animal's defenses, all remaining Chinese forces surrendered.
The name of this soldier was soon known to all: Abdul the Helliphant!Rider. His skill, fearlessness and laughing attitude made him an instant National Hero. Here you can see Abdul as he was trampling the city's last line of defense.
After the combats, tales of Abdul the Helliphant!Rider quickly started to spread all over India. He was immediately summoned to Delhi where he was greeted by Asoka himself. Under the deafening cheers of the crowd he was escorted in Asoka's palace and was promoted Great General.
As it is now the site of an Historic battle, Asoka decides to himself visit the newly conquered Chinese Capital. Upon arrival, what does he find? Just there, waiting for him? The Temple of Artemis! " Ohh, Qin Shi... Really, you should not have!"
Talking of the evil Qin Shi... Like a coward he fled his burning capital and retreated to his very last city where he was stubbornly defended by the last bastion of the Chinese military. Our army keeps the momentum and follows him.
In the meanwhile our glorious empire finally managed to develop the knowledge of Feudalism. Following the announcement, Asoka was quoted saying: "China, we are about to go medieval on your rice bowl!" Nobody understood what he meant but Historians declared this officially marked the beginning of a new era.
Just as we are besieging the very last Chinese settlement, we were informed that the Vicious Victoria and her equally vicious Englishmen have been fomenting treason. They discussed the idea of actually sending China some resources in order to help their war against us! It is too bad that China is one turn away from extinction, otherwise it might almost have annoyed us. Now the only thing that will eventually come out of it are Legions of angry Helliphants! rampaging through Victoria's lands.
Yes, in case you haven't figured yet, she's next.
It should also be noted that for the first time in recorded history, the Indian empire is the first nation in the the score ranking!
Now, on to a very informative view from above:
While we are lagging behind in technology, it is becoming obvious that the strength of the Indian empire is sheer size. Our settling and conquest gave us the edge as we have the biggest empire and, despite the ludicrous amount of human sacrifice taking place on a regular basis, the largest population. Furthermore we still have more room to colonize while the other guys are locked in fixed borders, this should give us what we need for DOMINATION!
It should also be noted how badly our economy sucks though. With the research slider at 0% we are netting a spectacular +4 gold! Yeah that is right, a good thing we have other means of getting money. Code of law is our priority at this point, we need to put some order in this large empire. In this case, order means money. This also means more ornament for our big pretty war Helliphant!
Oh, and forgot to add, in the meantime we destroyed China.
With the last of their population being enslaved ( + 4 fast workers, new total = 12) and the Pesky China Man himself under custody, an important page of RandomLand's history was turned. Asoka, a bit emotional, made a little speech for the occasion. It went like this:
"On this fateful day, i welcome all surviving Chinese population as part of our glorious ever expending empire. You shall be put at work building roads immediately.
I also want to personally thank Qin Shi huang, for putting up with us all these years. He was always there when we needed him. Qin shi, we would never have gotten this far without you. You shall be remembered, always."
Qin Shi huang was then escorted on the stage and you probably guess what happens next:
With China no longer obstructing the view we can finally contemplate the borders with our new Neighbor Mansa! The idea of attacking him right then has been considered but since we Hate the Vicious Victoria so much more, it just would not be right...
Our army will now need to walk all the long way back to the other side of the gigantic Indian empire, it is expected to take about 100 years. We will take advantage of these years to strengthen our infrastructure and get ready for another millennium of mayhem! Which will be the subject of our next Episode!!
In the meantime, If you ever happen to walk by Qin Shi Huang's funeral urn, offer flowers, say a short prayer then slap it with a dead Fish!
To be continued...