What if Civilization was created by...

[Nerdking]

Monty Python: Holy Hand Grenades, Old Ladies, and Rabid Moose (plural?) would attack people. Also, Spanish units could never be seen moving, as "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION".

In addition, you can kill all knights by saying "IT" or by purchasing them shruberies (accomplished by clearing a forest)

 

[Hitti-Litti]

^^

And Frenchmen would insult you like this:

"Your father was a hamster and your mother smells like elder berries!"

 

[Rheinmetall]

SSI: You can choose weaponry and training for every single soldier in every unit you build. There would be at least 1000 unit types and 5000 weapons systems to choose. The map would consist of hexagons instead of squares.

 

[R.B.]

American Idol: CFC posters have to vote for the victor of every game.
Survivor: The other Civilizations can vote you out of the game.
Medal of Honor: Can only play the same war with the same people over and over again.
Hillary Clinton: Everything in the game has something to do with Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Hillary Clinton. Has Barbarian Tribes named after the women Bill has cheated with.

 

[Ramius75]

Microsoft : The game is released full of bugs. The users have to send in the bug reports when they chance upon one and then Microsoft will try to fix it. When u turn off the game, the game will ask u to patch and then restart without consent closing all ur other programs. Millions of "add-ons" will be released later where the users have to pay for something they should be getting in the initial release.

 

[Mauritania]

Russel T. Davis: Modern civilisations will always be better and look more sleaker than the classics. There will be some 'cock & bull' story about how the classic civilizations became modern.

 

[sirtommygunn]

nvidia: gamplay would be imbalanced some units would be completly useless and it would be so short it isnt worth buying. Graphics are great: low graphics settings are the same as high on any other game

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

Frank Herbert: There is one source of oil on the entire planet. You threaten to nuke the one oil to take over the world.

Arthur C. Clarke: Your initial city is on a monolith and, instead of going to Alpha Centauri, you build a spaceship to fly to Jupiter.

Isaac Asimov: The game would end in the year 2050, not because you retire, but because of an eclipse of the sun.

Philip K. Dick : You play as Greece and build the Oracle of Delphi. You ask the Oracle three times who will win the Game. The first time you are told that you will win, the second time that you will lose, and the third time that you will win. You lose the game.

 

[Hitti-Litti]

ASCII gurus: Civilizations are C's with different colours. Leaderheads are big @'s.

 

[Ramius75]

Xerxes: Sparta will not exist, no one will ever hear of such a civilisation. No mention in the parchment and all the scribe couldnt talk. The world never knew Sparta existed.

 

[Nuka-sama]

NESers: Each turn, you would do diplomacy, and write orders. You would then send them to the computer Mod. Massive fun, but for the computer to update so you can play the next turn can take anytime from a week to a few months. Expect the Computer Mod occasiosionaly has to deal with real life, and the game sometimes sleeps, or the other computers lack intrest and the game is shut down

 

[BEHIND_THE_MASK]

Girls Gone Wild ::: All the Leaderheads would be hot chicks (No Catherine the Great for Russia, maybe Regent Sophia but Im not sure) would be completly topless and the terrain would all be Maimi Beach at Springbreak. Wars would be Hooter Fights and your treasury would likely be 0, guess why!!!

 

[Swedishguy]

Gamefreak - Gotta catch all the UU's! Great Persons are legendaries.

 

[Ramius75]

The Wachowski Brothers : You're convicted that ur life and the whole world around you is just a game of Civilisation. Played by a no lifer, emo, Asperger kid nicknamed "God".

 

[carmen510]

Chads: Civilization is in your house. Improvements are such stuff like HDTVs or Halo. Great People are hot chicks. Wonders are 'great' improvements, like new kitchen, softball field, or fancy restaurant trip. Enemies are people who want to steal your chicks. Allies: Friends who fight back at enemies. Victory: Get all the chicks or eliminate the enemy/enemy's home(s).

 

[Swedishguy]

Swedishguy: You will have Knubb as State Religion and Random Persian will be the UU of Persia!

 

[carmen510]

Fox: There will be Republican-biased election news, covering up Republican slip-ups/scandals.

 

[puglover]

Smilie:
The Brady Bunch: All wars would be resolved peacefully within the course of a half-hour. The Civilization theme music will be stuck in your head for 30+ years after play.

Swedishguy: You will have Knubb as State Religion and Random Persian will be the UU of Persia!

ARRG! Worn-out inside joke overdose... the pain... the... pain... *chokes*

 

[Chandrasekhar]

Okay, how about...

...

George R. R. Martin. You know you want it.

New civilizations get created and destroyed every few turns, you have to deftly manage your advisors and councils by playing them against each other, while still managing to not tick them off enough to assassinate you. You units have a 20% chance to turn against you and join the barbarian state each turn.

Also, watch out for zombies from the northern wastes, dragons from the far east, and midgets with crossbows back home.

 

[Catharsis]

NESers: Each turn, you would do diplomacy, and write orders. You would then send them to the computer Mod. Massive fun, but for the computer to update so you can play the next turn can take anytime from a week to a few months. Expect the Computer Mod occasiosionaly has to deal with real life, and the game sometimes sleeps, or the other computers lack intrest and the game is shut down

NESers: The game allows a few leaders to join, and then mercilessly flames anyone else in the vicinity.