Heh. That's an interesting story:
My last game. Nice start. Lots of jungle though. Scout a little, expand a little. Neighbhour: Monty. Uh, not so nice start...
Eh, whatever. At least we know what to expect. Monty does what he does best: declares war... We fight but that's all. Ok, time to heal and rebuild some military. Some hundreds years later, Monty wants help. (Of course he's at war again.) He's annoyed towards me, I (of course) hate him... I'm still repairing stuff. I want to tell him we're not ready for a war right now -- and it's very true. I've rebuilt some defensive force, but almost nothing for a decent attack. (If you don't count the overwhelming army of 2 (two) swords that helped me capture a barbarian city.) But, hell, the guys he's fighting have pissed me even more... (long story). And maybe someday I'll want the West Point: I need promotions on some units. So, Lizzie (I'm Elizabeth) goes to war.
It's not intresting what happed in the actual war. But what happened in my relations with Monty was amazing. He got VERY friendly. For going to war together! (And later trading some techs and goodies, but MOSTLY for sharing his wars -- like +5 or something like that.)
I've got my share of surprise attacks by others later in that game (some of them "pleased" towards me!) but never by Monty! He even voted for me in the UN!
So, I don't hate him anymore. Just like Izzy will love you for sharing her religion, Monty will be your best buddy if you go to war together. He just values different things.