Speak for yourself lol. For me it is entirely the other way around, I have always been able to talk about sex with my parents and friends (and other adults, really) and I think this is a much better introduction than "blonde slut is pummeled into submission part 4". It's nice that you understood porn as kind of a fantasy, however you always project your own conclusions onto others. I definitely think that many youngers don't think of porn as an alternate reality. Porn sites don't have disclaimers about porn being far from reality, they don't warn you that literally every other title has a slur word for women (slut, hoe, *****, though these are the least bad ones tbh..) and even if they did, no one would read that ****.
I'm not Christian nor am I trying to stop anyone from watching porn, I'm just raising concern.
I think a lot of what you said and quoted reinforces my feelings, how harmful pornography is for men's depictions of women. Like in your scenarios, those men aren't interacting with real women, and have no relationships with them outside of sex, so I'd imagine if you do that long enough you'll start believing (even if subconsciously) how women (and beautiful, perfect women at that) will just show up and be ready for you to have sex with, with no minds or souls, just bodies and not real people at all, you know what I mean? And since that's not reality, I understand how frustrating it can be for those young men, but I believe blame is on male creation of fantasy, not women, right?
Like I said before, I don't think pornography per se is harmful. It has existed at all times in human history: I remember in some European museum I saw a book of pornography, which showed people having sex in those gigantic baroque wigs and crinoline skirts.
It seems that the problem you have with pornography is not pornography itself—the depiction of sexual intercourse—but the reflection of patriarchy and sexism within it. However, pornography is not the only medium through which patriarchy is disseminated: if you play video games, you are flooded with objectified and almost fully naked women; if you watch movies, you will see women in secondary roles and usually as the male lead's love interest. Are you concerned that someone playing video games or watching TV is going to have unrealistic expectations relationships with women? Because video games and movies are easily available to everyone regardless of age (generally) and can often be discussed publicly, unlike porn. If you want to talk about the objectification of women in our society, then it's unfair to single out pornography as the only medium.
I am speaking for the average American, which you aren't is my guess? I can tell you that American-made porn has got to be the most violent, performative, roughest material that's out there. And that's because it reflects our culture, where bodies have to be perfect, looks have to be perfect, acts have to be perfect. American porn also reflects some racial issues, like black men with big penises "raping" white women (historically, black men were often lynched when suspected of even looking at white women, for example, and the myth of the "black rapist" seems to have persisted and taken a different shape). And if you watch American movies, most of them consist of fighting, blowing things up, racing in cars, and killing people—because it reflects our national mythology and social fantasies.
The point I am making is that pornography does not exist in some kind of vacuum, but within temporal social contexts. Your concerns are only symptoms of a much larger problem in our society, and that problem is going to persist for a long time because we, as Americans, like to pretend like everything is fine. It's also quite paradoxical that despite the objectification and sexualization of human bodies in the media, our society is rather puritanical (which you can even see from moderator warnings in this friend, citing the old Republican adage of "family values"). We see gore, blood, and violence openly in film, but showing some nudity is considered taboo. And ironically, because sex and sexuality are taboo to discuss, people can only learn about them from something like pornographic materials. It's almost as if American porn is the product of sexual frustration and repression, which, I guess, is what forces incels and other sexually frustrated men to do terrible things?
Thanks for attending my TED talk.
