Ok, I went in and voted. My nominee?
Superman IV: TQFP. What a schlockbuster! If you've ever had to sit through a single minute of this gut-wrenching celluloid emetic, I pity you. Entire Polynesian tribes have committed mass ritual suicide by choking themselves to death on their uncooked popcorn kernels after five minutes of this ghastly cinematic showcase of the wretched.
Well, it sucked pretty darn bad, at any rate. I mean they actually had a kid who, for all intents and purposes, could have been yelling, 'Why Shane, why?' AND a scene where our boy in blue attempts to immobilize himself with OLD USED TIRES. O-kaaay, that's gonna work. Superman is going to be held in place by old used tires. Riiight.
He defeats the bad guy by PUSHING THE MOON ALONG IT'S ORBITAL PATH TO CREATE AN ECLIPSE. Not just throwing a big blanket over him, or jamming him into the earth with a well-placed punch, or you know, anything remotely smart, oh hell no. No using his super-breath to condense a thick fog cloud to block the sun, nope. Gotta move the moon. I'd have nominated Superman III for the scene where he picks up a frozen lake by one edge and uses it to put out a fire, but we're all so used to seeing tensile strength violated by super-strong characters that it isn't worth mentioning.
Aw crap, that reminds me of another movie I forgot about.
Bigfoot vs. the Six Million Dollar Man
But even that wasn't as bad as Superman IV. I pray to God that nothing ever will be again. Maybe that horse was God's way of saying, 'No more.'
