You might be a Redneck Civver if...
- Thread starter CommandoBob
- Start date
madviking
north american scum
TheOverseer714
Overseer
113: You wonder why there is no Confederate States of America as a tribe.
madviking
north american scum
There's a saying that floats around here.
"Virginia Commonwealth University is in the bad part of Richmond. But that implies a good part of Richmond."
Sorry...
116 - Instead of factories, you build cotton gins.
"Virginia Commonwealth University is in the bad part of Richmond. But that implies a good part of Richmond."
Sorry...
116 - Instead of factories, you build cotton gins.
CommandoBob
AbstractArt
For all those who don't know what a redneck is, I thought the following explains it quite well:
__________________________________________________________
Marine Boot Camp, Parris Island, South Carolina
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But by now I am getting used to sleeping in late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting back at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake.. I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Alice
__________________________________________________________
Marine Boot Camp, Parris Island, South Carolina
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But by now I am getting used to sleeping in late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting back at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake.. I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Alice
darski
Regent in Training
CommandoBob
AbstractArt
121. One of your Small Wonders is called 'Goooolly!' where you rebuild The Pyramids out of empty beer cans.
Xanikk999
History junkie
122: You might be a redneck if you mod The Confederate States of America to replace "America" as a civ.
123 If you research Monotheism and Theology first when you reach the middle ages. Instead of continuing to Education though you make a beeline towards Engineering > Invention > then finally gunpowder because you love guns and conservative christianity! You put off education for as long as possible.
124 You rename Sun Tzus, "My Gunrack!". Which puts a barracks in every city on the continent. Everyone knows rednecks all own a gun which makes them dangerous. Sun Tzus now requires gunpowder though.
125 Your favorite government is anarchy because you are a hardcore libertarian and do not like having the government get into your business in ANYTHING! Even stuff like making sure the water supply is safe and to ensure the police force is maintained.
126 You cant understand why you have war weariness when you have been fighting another civ for a long time.
127 You would willingly serve your country and do not understand why drafting your population makes your cities unhappy.
123 If you research Monotheism and Theology first when you reach the middle ages. Instead of continuing to Education though you make a beeline towards Engineering > Invention > then finally gunpowder because you love guns and conservative christianity! You put off education for as long as possible.
124 You rename Sun Tzus, "My Gunrack!". Which puts a barracks in every city on the continent. Everyone knows rednecks all own a gun which makes them dangerous. Sun Tzus now requires gunpowder though.
125 Your favorite government is anarchy because you are a hardcore libertarian and do not like having the government get into your business in ANYTHING! Even stuff like making sure the water supply is safe and to ensure the police force is maintained.
126 You cant understand why you have war weariness when you have been fighting another civ for a long time.
127 You would willingly serve your country and do not understand why drafting your population makes your cities unhappy.
