1,000 things not to do at a wedding

[W|M]

125) Count votes of a local election

 

[Phrossack]

126. Kill eight wedding guests, run a sword through the head of the bride's father, and kill guards who cost £50 each.

 

[Mango Elephant]

While the minister is talking, whip out your nip and make funny faces at the bride.

 

[GamezRule]

128. Dress up as Ghandi and declare war on everybody.

 

[Ailedhoo]

128. Dress up as Ghandi and declare war on everybody.

129: Dress up as Ghandi and threaten to drop the A-bomb.

 

[W|M]

130) Remind everyone that it's spelled ''Gandhi''

 

[Ailedhoo]

130) Remind everyone that it's spelled ''Gandhi''

131) Write on the wall the words "Weding" instead of "Wedding"

 

[dot]

132) Start a discussion with each and every one about the odd Berlin disambiguity of the term "Wedding".

 

[ChineseWarlord]

133. Loudly mention throughout the wedding the brides 5 other marriages, her history of neurotic freakouts, and her revolting face.

134. Loudly mention throughout the wedding the grooms misogynistic tendencies, his registry on the sex offenders list, and his chronic alcoholism

 

[Optical]

135. #133 and 134, then stand up and toast them, saying, "You're perfect for each other!"

 

[Lord Baal]

136. Nudging the groom during the ceremony and reminding him that it's not gay if it's in a three-way.

 

[Patrick Hunt]

137, Ask the bride if she's pregnant or just ate a watermelon.

 

[da dick]

138. kiss the bride, the jon snow way.

 

[Perfection]

139. douse your hair with A1 sauce and then let it slowly drip over your naked body.

 

[dragonprobably]

140. Make misogynistic jokes.

141. Make homophobic jokes. (If it is a gay wedding.)

 

[cluckay]

21: Drop the cake.

While doing that, yell "DROP THE BASS!"

 

[dragonprobably]

142. Lick the bride's face instead of kissing her.
143. Do #142 and not be the groom.
144. Jump on the cake.
145. Play with the little figurines on the cake.
146. Wear a KKK costume (if either the bride and/or groom are black.)
147. Bring The War on Terror.
148. Protest the marriage.
149. Dress as the bride (you're a man.)
150. Throw feces at people.
151. While the priest is giving the ceremony loudly announce you don't believe in God.

 

[cluckay]

152. have turrets syndrome
153. sing "My United Sates of Whatever"

 

[Perfection]

149. Dress as the bride (you're a man.)

That pretty much goes for anyone who isn't the bride, regardless of gender. Might even be more offensive if you're a woman (a woman would be perceived as trying to upstage the bride whereas a man would just be a goofball).

 

[Lord Baal]

154: Ask Perf to be your best man.