15 years old teenager commits suicide after excessive on- and offline bullying

[The_J]

Surprised that there's no thread about this yet...

So, what's this about?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/11/amanda-todd-suicide-bullying_n_1959909.html

Amanda Todd, a Vancouver-area teenager who posted a story to YouTube last month about being cyber-bullied, was found dead Wednesday night in Coquitlam, Canada. Authorities believe she committed suicide.

Amanda's video tells a heart-wrenching story of the bullying she was subjected to -- both online and off. "In 7th grade," she begins, sharing her message on cue cards, "I would go with friends on webcam [to] meet and talk to new people." At one point, a stranger flattered her into flashing the camera.

One year later, a man contacted her on Facebook, threatening to send around the picture of her topless "if [she] don't put on a show." Terrifyingly, the stranger knew everything about her: her address, school, friends, relatives, and the names of her family members. Soon, her naked photo had been forwarded "to everyone."
[...]
She changed schools and found a new group of friends in an effort to leave behind the bullies. Then the man created a Facebook profile, using her uncensored photo as his profile picture. "Cried every night, lost all my friends and respect people had for me... again... then nobody liked me," she wrote in the video.

Other links:
- http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/19960162
- http://ca.news.yahoo.com/nova-scotia-remember-amanda-todd-005205596.html
- http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Am...ughter+bullying+with+video/7384521/story.html

The video:


Link to video.



...this is incredible.
Okay, we all know that the internet can be hard. You find morons online. Okay, big news. Some people blame that idiocy on various things, e.g. anonymity.

But this has also been refuted on multiple instances (see e.g. here or here).

But then again, this is not the case here.
The main cause were not random people on the net. But real persons. Persons who knew her.
Which brings me to the point where I ask myself: Why do you do that? Can there really be a good reason to wish some random person to kill herself? Just because of...because of why? She was bullied because her boobs were online (is this really a reason for bullying?), and then you wish her that she'll die the next time she drinks bleach?
You, me, we all have sometimes harsh thoughts about other people. Sometimes we think it would be better if somebody vanished. But do we really wish this? And would we say that into somebody's face? And even in front of a group?
What do these people think? I can't understand it. Can anybody offer an explanation?



--------------------
This is the most recent case of cruelty via the net with a serious end result.
There have been stories before, see e.g. here, with even examples of proxy-bullying, with unrelated people as tools. Are there only sociopaths out there?


The latest development in this case here is that anonymous has doxed the name of the suspected main culprit for the case (link), which is certainly also not the right decision (preemptive: Against our rules, so don't even dare to). The person could be totally unrelated to the whole story, and could then be the victim of the same cruelty which Amanda Todd had to suffer. And the people are too fast there to even demand vigilantism at this point, even without enough evidence (e.g. link), and a wrong judgement could really be horrific.
You don't really want to hunt somebody down, just due to wrong statements.
Shouldn't happen to anybody. Amanda was "hunt", and we see to where it has lead.


So, end of my write down.
I'd really like to see if somebody has any ideas why this happened. Or how to preven it. Or how to defend against something like that. The police might not be fast enough. But what can you do yourself?

 

[Cutlass]

This is terrible on all levels. All I can really think is that there are deeper problems at play here. Bullying can be really damaging. But it's generally survivable unless there's something else going on as well.

 

[bhsup]

That man murdered her as surely as if he'd put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. That isn't simple bullying, that's... well I don't really know how to describe it. Surely there is some sort of law on the books to make this man be held responsible for what he did?

 

[Bugfatty300]

That man murdered her as surely as if he'd put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. That isn't simple bullying, that's... well I don't really know how to describe it. Surely there is some sort of law on the books to make this man be held responsible for what he did?

Possession and transmission of child pornography, cyber-stalking, soliciting a child, etc.

Yeah, he should be in prison.

 

[Borachio]

<nvm>

 

[Grendeldef]

The main cause were not random people on the net. But real persons. Persons who knew her.
Which brings me to the point where I ask myself: Why do you do that? Can there really be a good reason to wish some random person to kill herself? Just because of...because of why? She was bullied because her boobs were online (is this really a reason for bullying?), and then you wish her that she'll die the next time she drinks bleach?
You, me, we all have sometimes harsh thoughts about other people. Sometimes we think it would be better if somebody vanished. But do we really wish this? And would we say that into somebody's face? And even in front of a group?
What do these people think? I can't understand it. Can anybody offer an explanation?

I can't say that bullying even in it's harsher form doesn't happen here but I think it's safe to say that having one's boobs over the net isn't a reason to lose friends. One is more likely to be cool than an outcast, even a teenager. Boobs are just not that big of a deal and people get to see those everywhere obvious places being sauna & beaches in summertime and please don't confuse our proper sauna to all the weird reincarnations that are called sauna abroad. Never mind the net, Parental control isn't widely used for computers.
This seems to be a case of unjustified beyond belief intolerance of a very unfortunate girl. Most likely someone silently blames the girl for an inappropriate action like people tend to blame rape victims for having sexy clothes. This way of thinking can suddenly turn into actions towards someone especially if there a moron beside. It's so easy to point someone out of the group without thinking the implications - kids are notorious for forming groups based on something totally irrelevant & pointless just be in a gropu themselves.

G

 

[History_Buff]

Possession and transmission of child pornography, cyber-stalking, soliciting a child, etc.

Yeah, he should be in prison.

Add extortion to the list of charges, which would probably be the longest sentence.


But it's not just that guy we need to be worried about. If the news is anything to go by, I guess there's also a lot of people who are still vandalizing her facebook page and generally harassing the family, which is spurring a free-speech vs. hate-speech vs. harassment argument. But I might be wrong on there, I've only caught occasional bits about this on the radio.

I can't say that bullying even in it's harsher form doesn't happen here but I think it's safe to say that having one's boobs over the net isn't a reason to lose friends.

Until all the fellow teenage girls at school label you a slut and start harassing you. Teenage girls tend to be very good at that sort of thing.

(Of course, not saying all girls will do this, but we all know one y-girl-straight-from-high-school-movie now don't we?)

 

[TheLastOne36]

Only thing I took from this story is that there is one less idiot in the genepool.

Cool.

Spoiler :

I'm a horrible person.

Moderator Action: Utterly tasteless, not acceptable here or in the Tavern - Grisu
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Ondskan]

I'm sure you know this J.
The lack of a real community creates the need for an artificial and its so much easier to make one if you have someone to heckle together. Most people feel quite insecure today and by bullying someone else they make sure that they can't get bullied themselves.

Overall the only solution is to love each other. Praise Jesus.


edit: If I am to elaborate I'm pretty sure that the pedophile was a generally lonely person. They usually are. Probably denied some part of a normal childhood, possibly denied sex. We are creating the monsters in this world. Even a sociopath can be a functioning person without someone triggering their sick minds.

 

[Ondskan]

Only thing I took from this story is that there is one less idiot in the genepool.

Cool.

Spoiler :

I'm a horrible person.

Yeah most of you indisputable anti-collectivists lack a firm grasp on what empathy is and cannot function in a society which rewards actions on the basis on how much it helps people around you, not yourself.

 

[TheLastOne36]

Yeah most of you indisputable anti-collectivists lack a firm grasp on what empathy is and cannot function in a society which rewards actions on the basis on how much it helps people around you, not yourself.

As a Canadian, I actually followed this story from the beginning.

The girl flashed her tits in grade 7 and got embarrassed cuz of it, I understand. I would switch schools after that as well.

But years of bullying and repeated suicide attempts and neither the girl nor her mom did anything about it? Well there is nothing to say after that.

Especially given this is Canada, not the United States. There is great support for bullied kids in Canada, like the Kids Help Phone for example. There really is no excuse.


edit: Oh yah, and there is the whole her sleeping with some boy that had a girlfriend in her new school. (And in small school of less than a 100 people, that's a huge no-no) This whole thing isn't aggravated purely out of some webcam photo from 4-5 years ago.

 

[Grendeldef]

Until all the fellow teenage girls at school label you a slut and start harassing you. Teenage girls tend to be very good at that sort of thing.

Unfortunately very much so but regarding the OP's question I was trying to point out that here having a topless picture floating around isn't much different than having a shirt of different brand and surely not a reason to be labeled as a slut.
However, as you pointed out kids, especially girls to my understanding, can be extremely cruel towards an outcast and the 'reason' behind it can be most anything.

The sauna part while being totally logical from our pov has been extremely hard concept for foreigners to grasp over the years. It's understandably very odd that there can be a place, one room, where men & women turn into asexual beings. This, however, results that nudity itself isn't a big thing - (most) everyone have seen quite a few naked people of the same & opposite sex in situation that has nothing to do with sex.

G

 

[Ondskan]

As a Canadian, I actually followed this story from the beginning.

The girl flashed her tits in grade 7 and got embarrassed cuz of it, I understand. I would switch schools after that as well.

But years of bullying and repeated suicide attempts and neither the girl nor her mom did anything about it? Well there is nothing to say after that.

Especially given this is Canada, not the United States. There is great support for bullied kids in Canada, like the Kids Help Phone for example. There really is no excuse.


edit: Oh yah, and there is the whole her sleeping with some boy that had a girlfriend in her new school. (And in small school of less than a 100 people, that's a huge no-no) This whole thing isn't aggravated purely out of some webcam photo from 4-5 years ago.

Usually things aren't but the whole point is that you can try to hide your dismissive character on the internet as you would in real life. You wouldn't say to a bunch of people that you're basically glad over someones suicide so don't do it here.
And young people are so confused today, perhaps you should be a bit more empathic.

 

[TheLastOne36]

Don't get me wrong, her suicide is very tragic and I feel sympathetic for those that actually cared for her.

But she didn't care about her enough herself, so I don't see why I should either.

 

[Ondskan]

You know that's exacly my point when it comes to Chavez nationalizing certain peoples property.

 

[History_Buff]

Unfortunately very much so but regarding the OP's question I was trying to point out that here having a topless picture floating around isn't much different than having a shirt of different brand and surely not a reason to be labeled as a slut.

Ah, totally forgot to check if you were (non-British I suppose) European. Then yes, you do tend to be much more enlightened about these things. We North Americans still seem to have a terrible tribal-puritanical streak in us somehow.

 

[TheLastOne36]

You know that's exacly my point when it comes to Chavez nationalizing certain peoples property.

Enlighten me.

I don't see how a girl with no respect for her self is comparable to Chavez stealing from the rich and poor alike.

 

[Grendeldef]

Ah, totally forgot to check if you were (non-British I suppose) European. Then yes, you do tend to be much more enlightened about these things. We North Americans still seem to have a terrible tribal-puritanical streak in us somehow.

No worries, I am Finnish the as location remark states.

G

 

[Ondskan]

Nah just the concept that if you don't care about others I shouldn't care about you neither.

(not talking about you now, just some example person).
But I appologize, it's taking the topic the wrong way. You get the last word as long as it's not to provocative

 

[Ondskan]

Unfortunately very much so but regarding the OP's question I was trying to point out that here having a topless picture floating around isn't much different than having a shirt of different brand and surely not a reason to be labeled as a slut.
However, as you pointed out kids, especially girls to my understanding, can be extremely cruel towards an outcast and the 'reason' behind it can be most anything.

The sauna part while being totally logical from our pov has been extremely hard concept for foreigners to grasp over the years. It's understandably very odd that there can be a place, one room, where men & women turn into asexual beings. This, however, results that nudity itself isn't a big thing - (most) everyone have seen quite a few naked people of the same & opposite sex in situation that has nothing to do with sex.

G

WHAT!
What has happened with you fins. I thought the Sauna was about getting in a bunch of men and sweating, toughening out and talking about your wives! Well about everything really.

I'm pretty sure that if there are two saunas even in Finland men go into one and women into an other.