20 Bananas walk into a bar

A man, his lover, his wife, his friend, a woman, a rabbi, a priest, a country singer, a clown, 5 clowns, a parrot, a doctor and a small dog walk into a bar. Then a policeman arrives and says "Sorry, you have exceeded the legal character limit for this joke".
 
You know what I can take my other 3 infractions for Banana Spam just fine but, this?! That was a serious attempt at humor! :mad: :mad: :aargh:
 
A dyslexic walks into a bra
 
Dyslexic jokes for the win!!

----

A pair of sunglasses walks into a bar and says: "Double vodka tonic please".

The bar man says: "I'm sorry, I can't serve you."

"Why not?" implores the pair of sunglasses.

To which the barman replies: "Because you're already off your face."



3....2....1..... groan
 
A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"
 
A man walks into a bar, with his mate the giraffe. They proceed to get sh!tfaced. As they walk out, the giraffe collapses and passes out in the doorway. The man keeps walking. So the barman shouts out: "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replies: "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe".
 
A man walks into a bar with a shopping bag and orders a large drink. While drinking, he intermittently stops and bangs the bag on the bar. The bartender, now curious, asks the man what is in the bag. "Well" the man replies "If you had won first prize in the lottery, and then come home and found that your wife had forgotten to deliver the ticket, what would you do?" "Well, I would cut her head off" said the bartender jokingly, to which the man said "Exactly, what do you think I have in the bag?"
 
A guy walks into a bar and orders six shots of Wild Turkey. The bartender asks, "So, what's the occasion?" and the guy answers, "My first fellatio." The bartender pours seven shots and says, "Well, then, congratulations! Why don't you have one on me as well?" The guy says, "Well, if six of them can't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't think seven will."
 
Priest, a Rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says:

"What is this, some kind of joke?"
 
Darth Nihlus walks into a bar, and he orders a 1/5 of Scotch.
Everyone dies.
He says: "Put the funeral expenses on my tab."
 
Back
Top Bottom