2012 Apocalypse Coming Up

[Borachio]

Ahh. Well it wasn't that, then.

 

[GamezRule]

I got turned into a newt.

 

[Borachio]

A cheese newt?

 

[cybrxkhan]

What if the actual apocalypse will happen 6:66 PM (i.e. 7:06 PM) in whatever time zone the Yucatan is in?

 

[Borachio]

Eh?

Then that's the time it will happen. What else?

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Hm something strange happened and I'm not sure if it's a sign of the apocalypse or not. Maybe you guys could tell me.

As I was showering with my broken shower-head because one of my roommates pulled the damn thing off, so it was just one big stream of water I realized something odd. The water had turned red and was gradually filling the bathtub. I tasted it and recognizing the metallic taste and recognized the coppery metal taste as blood.

As the bathtub filled with blood a high pitched keening wail filled the air, the sounds of a woman screaming could be heard. At which point the tub of blood began to gurgle and the head of a severed pig with it's eyes torn out bubbled up from the blood filled tub.

It turned it's eyeless gaze upon me and spoke thusly "You had content but no force" it said to me in a terrible voice. To which I replied "And you have force but no content."

I reached for my towel to dry myself only to find it had been turned into an American flag. I dried myself anyway. After having sex with it, I came straight to my room to tell you guys.

Is this something I should be worried about or is this happening to everyone?

Wait a second, why did your roommates pull the shower head ?

 

[GamezRule]

What if the actual apocalypse will happen 6:66 PM (i.e. 7:06 PM) in whatever time zone the Yucatan is in?

I'm not sure what a number with Christian significance has to do with the Mayans.

 

[Takhisis]

Well, if 'Christians' want to believe in Mayincatec prophecies, then they might as well make a complete dash and pour some Christianity™ into the mix.

 

[Core Imposter]

I told you guys there was nothing to this stuff.

 

[Takhisis]

It's not gonna happen in Newton-time either.

 

[Borachio]

I told you guys there was nothing to this stuff.

Did you? I don't remember you doing that. Can you provide a link?

I seem to remember you reporting you could see a wormhole approaching through your telescope only hours ago.

 

[Core Imposter]

Did you? I don't remember you doing that. Can you provide a link?

I seem to remember you reporting you could see a wormhole approaching through your telescope only hours ago.

Dirty lens.

Revealed through the peer review process (my wife told me I was an idiot as she cleaned it off).

 

[Borachio]

Oh very drole!

 

[ace99]

Wait a second, why did your roommates pull the shower head ?

I don't know. It is a mystery. But the pig's head situation sorted itself out. I took a walk to ponder the situation and as I walked and contemplated I heard a mighty roar and the ground rumbled and shook. When I returned I found my roomate lying upon the living room floor nude covered with viscera and stained in black ichor. Upon the wall scrawled in blood was:

"If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin. "

The head was gone leaving merely gore in it's wake.

Not my problem anymore in other words.

 

[choxorn]

I can confirm reports of zombies, although they've been here for at least three months now. They're actually quite decent fellows. Surprisingly good poker players, it seems that not having much of a face means you have a good pokerface.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

I don't know. It is a mystery. But the pig's head situation sorted itself out. I took a walk to ponder the situation and as I walked and contemplated I heard a mighty roar and the ground rumbled and shook. When I returned I found my roomate lying upon the living room floor nude covered with viscera and stained in black ichor. Upon the wall scrawled in blood was:

"If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin. "

The head was gone leaving merely gore in it's wake.

Not my problem anymore in other words.

Wait, so did your roommate have the showerhead with him while laying nude on the floor ?

 

[ace99]

I have a strong suspicion about where it is, but I'd rather not check. At least not without rubber gloves or something.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

So that's a "yes - sorta with him" answer to my question i take it.

 

[ace99]

Alright yep, I just checked. It's lodged pretty far up his arse. I eyeballed it but it looks like the shower head is in his colon with the hose part hanging out like a tail. I tried to pull it out but the hose began trashing up and resisting almost as if it was alive. I wonder....could it be......

 

[The_J]

mmhh...world is still here .

I tasted it and recognizing the metallic taste and recognized the coppery metal taste as blood.

You should probably be most worried about that.
Because if your blood tastes like copper, than you have a such severe iron undersupply that you should be in intensive care.