500 ways you know your computer sucks

[Perfection]

774. It's adispreantiproretrosemihypocryptopsuedoneoanarchoconsubcomputercidistologypoliscracygraphitions

 

[Souron]

775 It's internet is a big truck.

776 It's like an mamoth: big and slow.

777. it disguised as a mountain.

 

[Perfection]

778. This is the largest image it can support:

 

[Bushface]

779. The platters in the hard drive are twelve inches diameter, made of shellac, and spin at 78rpm.
780. The screen saver is a man with a palette and oil paints.
781. You have to load Basic from a cassette which always jams two-thirds of the way through the process, (This is a true memory, apart from the "always", though the machine wasn't a PC as we know them.)

 

[Love]

#780 the screen saver is a caveman painting his cave with mud

 

[NikNaks]

#781 The actual screen is a caveman painting his cave

 

[Perfection]

#782 The caveman is dead

 

[Love]

#783 the caveman is a rutten corpse that has been laying in the cave since the beginning of life

 

[Hitti-Litti]

#784 Dinosaurs are eating the corpse

 

[Love]

#785 the dinosaurs are rutten to

 

[Perfection]

#786 The cave has collapsed too

 

[Love]

#786 the dinosaurs are getting eated by a locust swarm from the egyptian time.
#787 the swarm is dead

 

[Souron]

#788 It was uncovered at Giza
#789 It has dinosaur fossils imbedded into the mother board.
#790 It's value is increasing with time
#791 It generates 20 culture per turn for your nation.

 

[Love]

#791 It generates 20 culture per turn for your nation.

#792 It not generating any culture.
It is -666 +666 -666 -666

 

[RickFGS]

#793. When you start Windows, Media Player automatically pops in and starts playing all of Britney Spears hits.
#794. You can´t shut it off even when you pull the plug.

 

[Love]

#793. When you start Windows, Media Player automatically pops in and starts playing all of Britney Spears hits.

#794
What do you mean???
The computer has no media player!!!

 

[RickFGS]

#795. If it doesn´t have media player, it will download it and then do #793 and # 794 automatically.

 

[Love]

#796 It cant drive a media
#797 It cant download
#798 the computer SUCKS!
EDIT:#799 it cant do thing automaticly
#800: 800! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

[RickFGS]

#801. Britney Spears will come to your house with a legion of PC assistance people and get your computer ready to do #793 or #795.

 

[NikNaks]

#802 The radiation emanating from it makes you sing them yourself.