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Altered Maps 2: Uber-Yugoslavia FTW

Discussion in 'Picture Threads Archive' started by RedRalph, Jan 18, 2009.

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  1. RedRalph

    RedRalph Deity

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    This is a handy one for when the inevitable happens:mischief:



    And



    Spoiler :
    Imagine. Italian songs echoing off the Danube shores. The Netherlands big enough not to have to worry about the sea. A French-Polish border. Imagine Europe without Germany. This map does.

    During most of the first half of the 20th century, Germany was seen by much of the rest of the world as a rogue state in the heart of Europe, its incorrigible belligerence a problem not only to be defeated but also to be eradicated - somehow. Inevitably, some on the lunatic fringe called for wiping Germany off the map — literally. One such plan was discussed earlier on this blog (#123).

    Although that particular plan was real, and even though the Second World War was contested with more apocalyptic zeal than any other modern-era conflict, simply obliterating Germany was never seriously considered an option. The aforementioned Kaufmann scheme was the work of a lone pamphlettist, and profited Nazi propaganda more than the Allied cause.

    Even the Morgenthau plan, used to similar effect by the German propaganda machine, never envisioned dissolving Germany — merely dismembering and dividing it, while neutralising its economic capacity to wage war. This is in effect what happened after the war, albeit that on top of this, the two halves of Germany ended up on opposing sides of the ideological fence now dissecting Europe.

    This ‘neutralised’ Germany and relegated questions of its right to exist to the dustbin of history. Some of the old anxieties did resurface in 1989, when the Berlin Wall fell and the West Germans steamrollered German Reunification, much to the dismay of many others. “I like Germany so much that I prefer to have two of them”, was the sarcastic sentiment of many European politicians (the quote is attributed to Francois Mitterrand).

    Is this what a Europe without Germany could have looked like? For starters, it doesn’t resemble the Kaufmann map (cf.sup.) And it’s unknown which basis in fact (or fiction) it might have. But the re-drawn borders don’t look like an occupation so much as an absorption: German toponyms have been rendered in the idioms of each conquering country.

    Denmark spills out of Jutland all the way down to Hamborg.
    Poland’s new western border corresponds exactly to the old DDR one, with East German cities renamed Drezno (Dresden), Lipsk (Leipzig) and Berolinsk (Berlin), among others.
    The Czech Republic extends into northern Bavaria, including Nuremhora (Nuremberg).
    Austria has gone completely Italian (Salzburg is now Salcastello) and has overrun southern Bavaria, including Monaco di Baviera (Munich).
    France reaches across the Rhine all the way up to Cassel (Kassel), and has frenchified cities like Aix-la-Chapelle (Aachen), Mayence (Mainz) and Charlesrepos (Karlsruhe).
    The Netherlands reach Hamburg and touch Poland, and include Keulen (Cologne), Dusseldorp (Dusseldorf) and Willemspoort (Wilhelmshaven).
    Some of the toponyms used here are the accepted translations for German city names already in use in other languages, e.g. Keulen (Dutch), Hamborg (Danish) and Mayence (French). Others are overtranslated: e.g. Eeten for Essen, both of which mean ‘to eat’ in Dutch and German respectively, whereas the city derives its name from a term for the East of for ash trees.
     
  2. Roller123

    Roller123 Prince

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    Poland and France rule Europe? i dont think so. The Anschluss of Germany by Austria and Czech is pretty funny though.
     
  3. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    Remember Napoleon? ;)

    Oh, wait. that didn't really work out, did it. Nevermind.
     
  4. knez

    knez Prince

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    uber yugoslavia ???
    wtf?
     
  5. gangleri2001

    gangleri2001 Garbage day!!!

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    Why do austrian cities have italian names on that map?
     
  6. scherbchen

    scherbchen well that can´t be good

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    look ma! I'm an Austrian now! oh, wait... would have been born Dutch, though. meh, there are worse things.
     
  7. Theige

    Theige American Baron

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    Would make more sense not to give any of Germany to France. Give the french part to Switzerland, Netherlands, Austria, and enlarge Luxembourg.

    Or just give all of that to Luxembourg, and make it a real country!
     
  8. Dachs

    Dachs Hero of the Soviet Union

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    Looks like I'd be born on the Austro-Czech border. :lol:
     
  9. bob bobato

    bob bobato L'imparfait

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    The world, if the countries in Civ4 were the only ones in existence, and covered all the world. Very very depressing- I knew the series was eurocentric, but really!
     

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  10. West 36

    West 36 Can count up to 4

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    For some reason Austria has been Italicized. Which sucks, because now there is no German at all.
    Not showing :(
     
  11. Thorbal

    Thorbal not enough ram!

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    Geez, why do I always get annexed by the Netherlands?
    I want to be property of Denmark :( .
     
  12. West 36

    West 36 Can count up to 4

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    I'll notify the Lego Legions immediately.
     
  13. Thorbal

    Thorbal not enough ram!

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    Great, thanks :) !

    (hm... how long until a lego call of duty shows up - LEGO HITLER!)
     
  14. jeps

    jeps Arcadefire

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    just wondering..how is the first map altered? its just an electoral map. if you split that into two countries, THAT would be altered.
     
  15. Godwynn

    Godwynn March to the Sea

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    Just give it all to Switzerland.
     
  16. Roller123

    Roller123 Prince

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    This map is post WW2. We can see Russia and Kaliningrad. In WW2 Poland and France werent exactly the heroes. Nobody would let them grab that much first-class territory.

    Speculating:
    Russia would not let Poland grow
    England would not let Benelux grow
    Germans would resist the french landgrab

    Hmm
    USA lost the war. Japan conquered China and attacked Siberia, forcing USSR to retreat. French used the opportunity for landgrab. Poland.. no really i cant think of anything which would justify Poland getting more territory.
     
  17. Dachs

    Dachs Hero of the Soviet Union

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    Well, duh. Most of these maps are pipe dreams.
     
  18. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    If being on the winning side and fielding the 4th largest Allied army in the war, never actually surrendering to the Nazis, fielding the largest underground allied army in Europe, fighting in every campaign in Europe and North Africa (including the Battle of Britain, the invasion of Normandy, etc.), losing 200,000 soldiers and 5,500,000 civilians, and cracking the Enigma code which lead to the end of the war isn't heroic, then I am going to have to disagree with your definition of the word "heroic" and/or question your understanding of history.
     
  19. Mowque

    Mowque Hypermodernist

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    even as a Polish nationalist, your going down a bad road. What they are going to bring up is such stuff like Polish cockiness before the war, Polish antisemitism, and what not...
     
  20. Roller123

    Roller123 Prince

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    In which case I guess they forgot someone at Yalta conference.
     
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