Johns screams gained the attention of a maid, who walked into the room in a calm and orderly manner only the servant of a Queen could possess.
Is everything alright your Majesty? asked the maid. John was surprised by the appearance of this maid and, as a side effect being utterly perplexed by this whole situation as well as completely hung over, could only respond to the maids question by staring at her directly in the eyes.
Your Majesty? the maid asked again, with a look of grave concern passing over her face. Not wanting to appear any more crazy than he already was, he tried to answer her question.
Yes, yes he started Im completely fine
John started to motion his hand in the air as if he was trying to remember her name. Rose. said a voice in his head, John would have been concerned about a voice starting to tell him the names of people he would have no way of knowing, he had a lot more things to be worried about at that moment so he decided to just follow the voices advice and worry about it later.
Rose. Continued John. Id just like
Id just like a few minutes privacy please.
Yes your majesty. said Rose, who curtsied and then left, shutting the door behind her. John slumped up against the bed and cradled his head in his hands and groaned. Well, it wasnt really his head, or his hands for that matter, but pronouns were very confusing for poor John. After spending a moment collecting himself, he decided to find out what the hell was going on.
First order of business, thought John out loud (which was something that he did when he was stressed, which understandably he was) Why do I have a voice in my head telling me something I couldnt possibly know?
Im not entirely sure yet. responded the voice. I think its your minds way of coping with all this craziness, its confusing being two different people, isnt it?
Thats a bit cliché, isnt it? asked John.
Eh, probably. It might just be because youre really, really hung-over, Im not a psychologist. But it doesnt explain the new memories.
Memories? asked John What
Memories flooded into Johns head, they werent his memories, they were the memories of whoevers body this was. Apparently she, Joan, was the Queen of a really important country in some other strange world, but she seemed to be more of a figurehead than anything. Along with this stream of memories came another splitting headache. John groaned again.
Well it seems like having someone elses memories shoved into your head causes headaches. said the voice Or that could just be the hangover.
Youre really bloody annoying, you know. said John.
I try my hardest. As the voice trailed off, there was a knocking on the bedroom door. John slowly got up and opened it, to be greeted by Rose and a large cohort of maids.
I am very sorry your majesty, said Rose But the High Chancellor has called for an emergency meeting for twelve and if you are going to be able to attend we need to get you ready now. The maids marched in and started to undress and dress John in an extravagant dress, which was a very surreal yet strangely familiar experience. The rest of the morning was similarly surreal, with a very exotic and decadent breakfast unlike anything John had ever tasted. This was followed by a car ride on a car that reminded John of the cars in Wind in the Willows, through a city that looked like 1950s Britain, except entirely populated by women.
They dont call it Amazonia for nothing, muttered John underneath his breath. John made his way through the basement of the Capitol, surrounded by bodyguards and soldiers. He was guided through a series winding corridors until they reached a large room. It was filled with people rushing about like nobodys business. In the centre of the room was a large table with a picture of Northern South America on it, it looked just like one of those war maps from World War Two movies.
Your majesty, said Mary-Anne, a short, stout and fearsome woman who John recognized as the High Chancellor, I need you to sign these papers, then you can get on with your day. John was handed a large pile of papers, which he started to read.
Wait a second, isnt Joan the Queen here? thought John. Shouldnt she, well, I be the one who writes the pieces of paper that get signed?
It seems like Joan didnt really like running the country. said the voice in Johns head Looks like she just let Mary-Anne run it, while she partied herself half to death. John shrugged and started reading these pieces of paper. The first one he started reading seemed to be a press released describing how it would be impossible for them to rescue some heiress from North Musican paramilitary, as it would provoke tension within the region. And from Joans memories, it seemed like this was completely bogus.
Excuse me Mary, said John But why does this press release say that we cant rescue this poor girl from a horrible death when we both know that it is completely untrue? I mean its not like relations could get any worse with the Aztecs. They probably havent even reached the border yet, so it would be a simple matter of ringing up the Musican government and asking them to look for her. So why arent we doing that? Mary-Anne sighed.
This poor girl, said Mary-Anne Is the heiress to Isabella duPine, your greatest enemy within the nobility. Even as we speak she is plotting to have you get thrown out of power, if her heir dies then she lose legitimacy, putting her plotting to an end. Your majesty, I do not have the time to explain every one of my actions to you, would you please just sign the papers so we can both get back to what we do best?
It might be a good idea just to let her do that, said the voice in Johns head, I mean, would you have any idea what you would be doing? I mean your experience amounts to an unused International Relations degree and some crappy dead-end job in the public service. Mary-Anne on the other hand has had years of experience of running the country while her Queen wasted her life on parties and alcohol! Do you really think that you could do a better job than her?
No. shouted John, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. Through some sort of cosmic joke, Ive been given the responsibility of safeguarding the lives of over 20 million people. And Ill be damned if I even let one of them get tortured to death by North Korean, sorry, Musican arseholes just because of some stupid political shenanigans.
So, things are going to change. Starting today, Im going to make some actual decisions. Everything will be run past me and I will have the final word on everything. Is that understood? Mary-Anne looked shocked, which quickly transitioned into a glare.
Yes your Majesty. said Mary-Anne.
Right, so first thing on the agenda, said John Were formulating a plan to save this little girl. Somebody get me a typewriter!
Shes going to fight you every step of the way, said the voice as Mary-Anne walked off to get a typewriter. You know that, right?
I know, said John, as he leaned back in the chair. He was going to use this power that he had been given. He was going to make this country, and this strange new world, a better place.