Babylon: Rise of a Dictatorship

[CaterpillarKing]

Update soon guys

 

[CaterpillarKing]

The other religion exclaiming Caterpillar's greatness, Zoroastrianism, was now growing in popularity. More and more people wanted to hear all about their lord and savior, Caterpillar King. There was a daily turnout of approximately 98% people every morning to pray to their amazing king. Not surprisingly that 2% showed up the next day, or they went missing and it just evened out to 100% anyways but no one cared enough to look into it.

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Babylon worked along, building roads across their beautiful kingdom, and enormous war machines built from wood, metal, and pure badassium (It's the second most valuable element, just after Caterpillarium). Soon the Iroquois would pay for their insolence, and by insolence I mean existing.

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It was a beautiful morning in the Babylonian Empire. Caterpillar sipped his coffee when suddenly a man bursted through his door. He was one of Babylon's researchers. Caterpillar exclaimed.
"I could have you killed for that you know! But the spikes are still a bit grimy so I will let you speak." And suddenly Caterpillar was shown a bunch of characters and advanced letters. Caterpillar then stated, "What the hell is this crap?"
"This is the future my lord. We have now developed a way to write ones thoughts, we call it, the Caterpillar Thought Exchange System!"
"Nice name. You may go now." And from then on Caterpillar now had a new way to get his subjects to like him. Words.

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Babylon's army was now the greatest in the world. With such a large military Babylon could now make any silly bears or non-lovers of Caterpillar pay. Of course it would be because of Caterpillar if battles were won, but a buttload of swords didn't hurt.

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With fears of another bear riot growing within the Empire, Caterpillar began increasing the protection of Babylon. If any bears tried to take on the city now, they would become pelts, furry ones. Also, the construction of the Parthenon was going swimmingly!

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This meant war. Caterpillar likes war. He likes it a lot.

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[VGL]

what does the radiation sign mean?

 

[TheNoob]

Oh yeah, here we go

 

[CaterpillarKing]

In my signature? It just means nuke. The quote I have is the quote used for fission or whatever in civ 4 and I love nukes and I love that quote so I thought it was appropriate And yes, here it does go

 

[VGL]

I meant the sign near your cities

 

[constantinople]

If you capture When you capture Salamanca, rename in Salamander.

 

[CaterpillarKing]

That doensn't mean radiation. That just means biological hazard. It's a fancier symbol to say my city is unhealthy. And I renamed all the cities but unfortunately I didn't rename it that

 

[CaterpillarKing]

Update tonight.

 

[TheNoob]

Still waiting for that update tonight

 

[CaterpillarKing]

So Much Greatness​

Caterpillar announced the war was soon to begin and that they would surely be victorious. "But sire! What if we lose?" Strangely, that voice just stopped there and was followed by a sputtering noise and a clunk. Caterpillar told them to pay no attention to the bag begin dragged away and focused the attention of the crowd to his mangaflorious new plan. He pointed at a map and said "this is the Iroquois Chiefdom, and this is what we will do to them." Then three men walked in, tore down the map, and stomped on it, lit it on fire, kicked its ashes, and then danced on it. The point was made.

Across the border an old man and his camel were seen. They carried money and resources. He walked up to the Babylonian soldiers, "can you direct me to your capital? I want to-"

"HE WANTS TO BURN THE CAPITAL!!" What Caterpillar told his people is that the soldiers very nicely told him where the capital is, with swords, and his femur.

Spoiler :

"If you listen closely Timmy, you can hear the Iroquois collectively crapping their pants."

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"Sir, we have two choices, burn the city, or keep it."

"What's that third button on the bottom?"

"Don't worry sir, no one ever clicks that, anyways, what's your decision?"

"Well, I do like burning, but I also like building statues of myself, so I'll do that. Keep the city!"

Spoiler :

In the year 160 AD, theology became the explanation for Caterpillar. Several books of some significance were rewritten, some lines include.

"Blessed be the fruit of thy Caterpillar, the increase of thy Caterpillar, and the flocks of thy Caterpillar."

"Give a man a Caterpillar and you Caterpillar him for a Caterpillar. Teach a Caterpillar how to Caterpillar and you Caterpillar Caterpillar for a Caterpillar."

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"Sire, we have some new loon that says he knows everything and stuff."

"Why?"

"He says because we entered a new era."

"Ugh, let him in and speak his crap."

*Man enters

"What is your name?"

"Owrebard Wydlawyth, sir."

"... I'm calling you Ow Wy, or Owwy, or whatever."

"Yes sir, of course sir."

And that is how Owwyism flooded the communities with its logic and philosophical belief. Everyone knows the more complicated the name, the more likely you will believe it and love it.

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"Sir... We have someone else..."

"OH MY GOD JUST LET HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS!"

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[baseballpie]

Update tonight.

Still waiting for that update tonight

You see, if there's one thing I've learned in all my time at S&T, it's that you should never promise updates.

 

[CaterpillarKing]

Hey, I did make an update

 

[baseballpie]

Tonight?

 

[CaterpillarKing]

Literally right above your first post today baseball

 

[baseballpie]

Literally right above your first post today baseball

My point was that you said you were going to update "tonight", but instead you didn't update for 4 months.

 

[CaterpillarKing]

Hmm..... Shhhh No one needs to know

 

[Attractadore]

A bit late, but subscribed....
Any way, one is never late....

 

[Attractadore]

And if you ever want to now when the next update comes,
Then:
Multiply "tonight" by x, then devide by y, add caterpillar and you will get the result!

 

[Attractadore]

X is random,
Y is random,
Caterpillar is Caterpillar King....