Best/Worst/Funniest Pick-Up Lines

[Mechanicalsalvation]

“Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

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[Perfection]

 

[El_Machinae]

Did it hurt?
Oh how lame...did what hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell down the ugly tree?

Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven???

Because it looks like you landed on your face.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Darn, most of the ones I get are too nasty for this website.

 

[El_Machinae]

Ugh. Do we really need another thread where we celebrate heteronormative, patriarchal oppression that leads to the rape and DEATH of millions of female bodied individuals every year?

Have we lost you as an ally when it comes to reducing tolerance for sexual assault? I know that boards tend to mistreat people, and so they sometimes lash back by becoming entrenched in fighting the thing they'd actually implicitly approved of. But I'd hate to lose a potential future ally.

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[Lohrenswald]

One friend I have once made a joke that our mutual math-obsessed friend could say "you're sweet as a sine curve"

 

[Commodore]

Well played sir.

 

[danjuno]

I have the biggest freedom boner right now.

 

[warpus]

Hey, I just got back from an expedition to Everest and I have money

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

I need your #/snapchat so I can send you pics of memes/cats.

 

[Ryika]

I need your #/snapchat so I can send you pics of memes/cats.

Creepy, dude. Creepy.

 

[Disgustipated]

I'll kick it off with one I saw: "Are you garbage? Because I'd like to take you out."

Does it actually count as a pick up line if it was never actually used in an effort to pick up a woman (or a man)? Because unless you have video of someone using this line on a woman (or man) then I'm dubious it is an actual pick up line. You say saw, so most likely from a movie. I've seen lots of funny pick up lines from movies, but I've never actually seen a man (or woman) use one in real life. That's what I'd like to see.

 

[Perfection]

Does it actually count as a pick up line if it was never actually used in an effort to pick up a woman (or a man)? Because unless you have video of someone using this line on a woman (or man) then I'm dubious it is an actual pick up line. You say saw, so most likely from a movie. I've seen lots of funny pick up lines from movies, but I've never actually seen a man (or woman) use one in real life. That's what I'd like to see.

Is that a dare?

 

[danjuno]

Videotape it and link it to us.

 

[Narz]

A corny one that actually worked :

I was riding the subway home one night around 1am. Saw a nerdy girl reading a book who seemed to keep looking up at me. I wrote her a note saying "Enjoy your book & your night, you can text me if you like - Narz's #". Figured why not. She ended up calling an hour later and we met up & hooked up about a half-dozen times.

Another one that worked - "What time is it?" (put my watch in my pocket)

I can't think of anything really outlandish that I've said to a new girl. Sometimes I say super corny/perverted 'pick-up lines' to a girl I'm already seeing.

 

[Commodore]

Does it actually count as a pick up line if it was never actually used in an effort to pick up a woman (or a man)? Because unless you have video of someone using this line on a woman (or man) then I'm dubious it is an actual pick up line. You say saw, so most likely from a movie. I've seen lots of funny pick up lines from movies, but I've never actually seen a man (or woman) use one in real life. That's what I'd like to see.

It was used. What I saw it on was a YouTube video showcasing various Tinder fails.

 

[Truthy]

I have some that work well with programmers. E.g., hey baby are you a java class? cause i'd like to set your visibility to package

 

[Gori the Grey]

What's my sign? Dollar!

 

[warpus]

I used this line on a girl once and it worked. She was one of those people who stops in on the street and hands you something and tries to introduce you to some product. Usually I don't stop and take those, but she was cute and I had been drinking. So she is going through the sales pitch she wants me to take the pamphlet.

I tell her that I don't really want the pamphlet, but I will take it if she gives me her number. She says "I would, but I don't have a pen or paper" (this was before smartphones). I didn't have my phone on me either, so I just said "It's okay, I'm autistic, just tell me what your number is and I will remember it"

Now, that doesn't make sense at all, but I made it sound like it did. The problem is that I'm not autistic and I had been drinking so a half an hour later I could not remember the number at all.

So anyway, just say whatever you want but say it like you mean it. And remember to always bring a pen

 

[Ryika]

I used this line on a girl once and it worked. She was one of those people who stops in on the street and hands you something and tries to introduce you to some product. Usually I don't stop and take those, but she was cute and I had been drinking. So she is going through the sales pitch she wants me to take the pamphlet.

I tell her that I don't really want the pamphlet, but I will take it if she gives me her number. She says "I would, but I don't have a pen or paper" (this was before smartphones). I didn't have my phone on me either, so I just said "It's okay, I'm autistic, just tell me what your number is and I will remember it"

Now, that doesn't make sense at all, but I made it sound like it did. The problem is that I'm not autistic and I had been drinking so a half an hour later I could not remember the number at all.

So anyway, just say whatever you want but say it like you mean it. And remember to always bring a pen

This totally didn't happen.