Welcome gentlemen, come in and have a seat, our Host President Lincoln will be here momentarily, can I get you anything to drink?
I'd offer you wine but Hannibal refuses to trade wine for my re-appropriated Ivory but anything else can be arranged of course.
Mr. President arrives.
Please take your seats were friends here right?
Ok so since I called you all here today I shall begin, Mr., White if you'd be so kind as to record the minutes sir, sir yes sir.
Leader of the Carthaginians, Hannibal. I proposal an exchange of an Ivory deposit for this wine you have in abundance. Is this an agreeable exchange? No it is not, my "wine" is far more valuable than any Ivory you'll have to do better Abe. This is a formal setting and you'll address me properly, I was unaware we were buddies! So since you see it that way I have made my decision.
The next order of business is to you Emperor Tokugawa, I have made a mistake with you, but is only now that I know this for sure, I canceled our trade agreement very abruptly to see were or if it could be used elsewhere but at last our Carthaginian Leader doesn't see fit to trade his extra goods, so I implore you Wise leaders to consider if dealing with this selfish civilization is wise. Hey that’s absurd! HANNIBAL, TAKE YOUR SEAT. YOU'LL GET YOUR TURN. Anyway where was I Mr. White, Ivory sir oh yes in deed, so therefore I resupply you with this Ivory and apologize for my error.
The next order of business is for the Lady in the house. Saint Joan of Arc my General has just informed me that your beloved city Lyons fell to us today. I again propose a Peace Treaty, when this occurred a week ago I proposed Lyons lay down their weapons and surrender to America and you refused, this week I offer the same, Chartres is on the table today, Do you submit? You are a Warmongering fool if you think I’ll submit to you! I will fight you to the last city falls and you can count on it! Saint Joan of Arc shall I take a direct route to Paris? Oh you can try but my “Riflemen” will watch you fall one-by-one as you approach my city walls Ok I’m sorry you feel that way, it will be done.
Next
Emperor of Rome, Emperor Caesar, I remember a meeting we had long ago were you stated that your backward civilization had nothing to offer us in trade and really at that time we had very little to offer, but now I must say you’ve overcame your backwardness in lines with the rest of us, WELL DONE I SAY! I have heard you have surpassed even the Carthaginians and made trades of your own. Destroying the Arabs has hindered your progress as this war I am dealing with France. Joan and Hannibal stands! (Then Tokugawa and Caesar stand knocking over their chairs). I raise my hands to be seen as a show of peace to continue. So I have offered you a surplus of Ivory but its ok you can think about it a while, I don’t need a decision right now, just let me know in good time and thank you for coming such a great distance.
The Mayan King my ally, Brother-In-Arms! I see you’ve done well as well in France, (Joan Glares at him and then at me) These recent trades and gifts of goodwill are truly appreciated, I am appalled that my abilities have been so far less than adequate in these regards but at last I have probed my economy and all my non-working Entertainers on a new way of governing. I shall at my earliest convenience take America into a state of Anarchy and bring her out into Fascism. But really this is just a temporary thing as Democracy is of coarse my main objective, but as for now this will put each city under guard of police which will in turn get my people back to work regardless if they want to or not (almost simultaneously a um uhmm comes from every bodies throat) YES, YES I KNOW I SOUND LIKE A DICTATOR, BUT JUST LET ME EXPLAIN, that’s just what fascism is and it is just to finish up a few things and its back to being a “Leader of the People” a land where even entertainers want to work with the rest of the peoples. So anyway if you’d like I could have Mr. White fill you in on the details of Fascism it is up to you whether you go down that route or not. Ok so France has something to offer as well I say take what you need. (Everyone looks at Joan) Joan’s eyes red as blood but says nothing.
Well that’s all I had and I thank all of you for coming on such a short notice. If you do need to speak with me later you know I have an open door policy or better yet a Frigate available for travels abroad. Just let me know. Good Day
(An undetermined voice) Sure would have been nice to have some Wine.