Without knowing many of the details of your personal experience, it sounds like you may be exploring the possibilities of transgendered orientation. It's important that you know that nothing is wrong with you. This is normal to question your sexuality and the ways in which you want to give and receive love. I would recommend some counseling with someone who is familiar with GLBT issues. It's always great to have a safe place to talk through your needs, concerns, and fears. Talking to someone does not mean you're crazy or even that you're making any kind of huge change in your life. I personally have found professional counseling immensely helpful for my own growth. If this is not an option, look for GLBT support groups in your area. I've also included the link to a book which might at least offer some perspective or encouragement as you continue to process all of this. Just remember, sexuality can be fairly fluid. There's nothing wrong with you if you feel more inclined to be treated as a female today and a male tomorrow. You're exploring and learning to accept yourself and that's what's important.
