Chaos SG
- Thread starter Munterpipe
- Start date
The world is a dangerous place. There are wild animals and sharp, pointy things everywhere. Often it's just best to stay at home.
The minion finds himself in charge after the previous leader had an unfortunate accident at the end of a Russian arrow. The year is 2200BC and Chaos is at war with Peter, there are downtrodden workers growing corn out west of the town of Theory, and a wandering band of treehuggers (warriors) are out hugging trees. Another group of less savory warriors are encamped right outside St. Petersburg, which is home to an archer and a warrior.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the eggheads are trying to work out the difficulties of animal husbandry with hopes that their work will look good on a resume to PETA. The town's one citizen is out working the floodplains where they harvest lots of yummy mud.
In the factories... no, we don't have those yet. In the workshops... No, don't have those either. In the place where people put mud and sticks together to make things, they are working on bigger sticks and muddier loincloths for another warrior. They suspect it will take 240 years (6 turns) to complete. This will never do. The LAST thing we need is another warrior. Heck, we've already got one out harrassing the Russians.
Instead we tell the builders to work on getting enough people together to go out and settle another city. We could've gathered people to go help our sole worker out in the corn, but really, it's almost 2000BC. We need another city. Besides, there's nothing else we can really build.
Our messengers rush out and beg Peter for peace. He very graciously agrees! We immediately recall the warriors for sensitivity training (7 turn trek).
None of our neighbors have anything to trade. For the time being, we decide to keep slavery, but we resolutely decide not to practice it.
Turn 1 (2160BC): Those tree-huggers would heal better at home and in their own beds. We recall them too (8 turn trek).
IBT: Panthers stalk the Ikono-know warriors returning from their vacation in St. Petersburg.
Turn 2 (2120BC): RUN IKONO-KNOW, RUN! (Wow, these guys are FAST through the trees!) They easily outrun the panthers.
Turn 3 (2080BC): Our warriors still returning home. Yellow ribbons adorn many trees in the town of Theory. Workers are STILL sowing corn.
Turn 4 (2040BC): Gentlemen. CORN!
IBT: Hey! It's Genghis! I wonder if he'll be our friend? We say Hi. He says "Good day". Unfortunately, he declines having his picture taken.
Turn 4 (2000BC): As much as we hate it, we send the workers to chop down some trees so that our settlers may be ready sooner. We leave the corn to ripen in the fields (they are not hooked up).
IBT: Livy's Most Powerful Civilizations list us in last place as "the Forgotten". This suits us just fine!
Turn 5 (1960BC): Still chopping trees. If one listens closely, one can almost hear their wooden screams. Some of Genghis' scouts show up to the northwest. We wave politely.
Turn 6 (1920BC): Ikono-know returns to Theory from their travels abroad. They settle in for a well deserved rest.
Turn 7 (1880BC): The treehuggers make good time and arrive home too. There is much rejoicing! The workers finish clearcutting those annoying trees... I mean, sacrificing the spirit of the wood to our unworthy civilization... Our settlers shall be ready to travel in a mere 160 years (4 turns).
Turn 8 (1840BC): The workers (who are NOT COMPLAINING) return to the corn fields just in time for harvest. They start building a road back into town.
Turn 9 (1800 BC): Wow, we're really getting along in years now!
Turn 10 (1760BC): The new road is completed! All Theoreticians (all ONE of them, who work HARD to turn mud into settlers) enjoy corn! The workers start a road south towards the pigs, because we'll be able to marry them there pigs (animal husbandry) in just one turn!
BONUS ROUND!
Turn 11 (1720BC): Just to round things out...
Animal husbandry comes in. Now we can love our animals! We immediately start thinking of Pottery (due in 9 turns), because it would be nice to make our new animal friends some decorative bowls.
The settler is ready! They don't start on their trip just yet (they're too busy eating corn and thinking about pots for pigs). We'll leave their destination up to the next wonderful soul that steps forward to guide our glorious civilization!
We start gathering up helpers for the lonely workers out in the fields (another Worker is queued up). I'm sure the next wise leader will see the importance of the buddy system.
At the end of our term, we've peacefully resolved our differences with Peter. He's not such a bad guy once you get to know him. We now have a supply of corn to our wonderful city of Theory and we have a group all gathered up and ready to expand our horizons.
And, if you look at our demographics, we're #1 in life expectancy! We live, on average, 87 years! And we have a pretty good 71% approval rating too (but I'm sure we can do better!)
Just... remember those poor trees that gave their lives to make it all happen.
(Edit: Resized the pics in Photobucket. Didn't realize how large they were. Sorry!)
The minion finds himself in charge after the previous leader had an unfortunate accident at the end of a Russian arrow. The year is 2200BC and Chaos is at war with Peter, there are downtrodden workers growing corn out west of the town of Theory, and a wandering band of treehuggers (warriors) are out hugging trees. Another group of less savory warriors are encamped right outside St. Petersburg, which is home to an archer and a warrior.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the eggheads are trying to work out the difficulties of animal husbandry with hopes that their work will look good on a resume to PETA. The town's one citizen is out working the floodplains where they harvest lots of yummy mud.
In the factories... no, we don't have those yet. In the workshops... No, don't have those either. In the place where people put mud and sticks together to make things, they are working on bigger sticks and muddier loincloths for another warrior. They suspect it will take 240 years (6 turns) to complete. This will never do. The LAST thing we need is another warrior. Heck, we've already got one out harrassing the Russians.
Instead we tell the builders to work on getting enough people together to go out and settle another city. We could've gathered people to go help our sole worker out in the corn, but really, it's almost 2000BC. We need another city. Besides, there's nothing else we can really build.
Our messengers rush out and beg Peter for peace. He very graciously agrees! We immediately recall the warriors for sensitivity training (7 turn trek).
None of our neighbors have anything to trade. For the time being, we decide to keep slavery, but we resolutely decide not to practice it.
Turn 1 (2160BC): Those tree-huggers would heal better at home and in their own beds. We recall them too (8 turn trek).
IBT: Panthers stalk the Ikono-know warriors returning from their vacation in St. Petersburg.
Turn 2 (2120BC): RUN IKONO-KNOW, RUN! (Wow, these guys are FAST through the trees!) They easily outrun the panthers.
Turn 3 (2080BC): Our warriors still returning home. Yellow ribbons adorn many trees in the town of Theory. Workers are STILL sowing corn.
Turn 4 (2040BC): Gentlemen. CORN!
IBT: Hey! It's Genghis! I wonder if he'll be our friend? We say Hi. He says "Good day". Unfortunately, he declines having his picture taken.
Turn 4 (2000BC): As much as we hate it, we send the workers to chop down some trees so that our settlers may be ready sooner. We leave the corn to ripen in the fields (they are not hooked up).
IBT: Livy's Most Powerful Civilizations list us in last place as "the Forgotten". This suits us just fine!
Turn 5 (1960BC): Still chopping trees. If one listens closely, one can almost hear their wooden screams. Some of Genghis' scouts show up to the northwest. We wave politely.
Turn 6 (1920BC): Ikono-know returns to Theory from their travels abroad. They settle in for a well deserved rest.
Turn 7 (1880BC): The treehuggers make good time and arrive home too. There is much rejoicing! The workers finish clearcutting those annoying trees... I mean, sacrificing the spirit of the wood to our unworthy civilization... Our settlers shall be ready to travel in a mere 160 years (4 turns).
Turn 8 (1840BC): The workers (who are NOT COMPLAINING) return to the corn fields just in time for harvest. They start building a road back into town.
Turn 9 (1800 BC): Wow, we're really getting along in years now!
Turn 10 (1760BC): The new road is completed! All Theoreticians (all ONE of them, who work HARD to turn mud into settlers) enjoy corn! The workers start a road south towards the pigs, because we'll be able to marry them there pigs (animal husbandry) in just one turn!
BONUS ROUND!
Turn 11 (1720BC): Just to round things out...
Animal husbandry comes in. Now we can love our animals! We immediately start thinking of Pottery (due in 9 turns), because it would be nice to make our new animal friends some decorative bowls.
The settler is ready! They don't start on their trip just yet (they're too busy eating corn and thinking about pots for pigs). We'll leave their destination up to the next wonderful soul that steps forward to guide our glorious civilization!
We start gathering up helpers for the lonely workers out in the fields (another Worker is queued up). I'm sure the next wise leader will see the importance of the buddy system.
At the end of our term, we've peacefully resolved our differences with Peter. He's not such a bad guy once you get to know him. We now have a supply of corn to our wonderful city of Theory and we have a group all gathered up and ready to expand our horizons.
And, if you look at our demographics, we're #1 in life expectancy! We live, on average, 87 years! And we have a pretty good 71% approval rating too (but I'm sure we can do better!)
Just... remember those poor trees that gave their lives to make it all happen.
(Edit: Resized the pics in Photobucket. Didn't realize how large they were. Sorry!)
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
First we whip it down to size 1, then we build a settler followed by a worker to stop Theory from growing and to cap it off, we cut a forest in the BFS (big fat square). Where is Harvey Keitel when you need him?
I was looking at the happiness in Theory and saw the following ...
... it is to crowded here! Are they kidding?
And ... new save!!
I was looking at the happiness in Theory and saw the following ...
... it is to crowded here! Are they kidding?
And ... new save!!
Munterpipe
Clums
I'm up, I'm up 
I got it.
I got it.
Gaspar~
Warlord
You're gonna need more than 10 turns to clean that mess up 
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
True - how much damage can Munterpipe actually do in 10 turns?
Munterpipe
Clums
0: We are all messed up. Capital is size 1 and building a worker. Why is it called Theory? Is that japanese? Or was it your idea, Strauss? I'm guessing the prankster is a'pranking. 
Renaming cities...
PISSES ME OFF!!!
change worker build to warrior.
1: I spot a peculiar sign NE. It says "Peter this way"
2: I name our second city Chaos. And spot more signs. They say move along and nothing to see. I send a warrior immediately to check it out.
3: Make me bacon, filthy workers. We should whip them more, since they are really rude.
6: We meet the English. What! We already met the English? This very ugly woman must be an imposter.
7: Pottery is done, and since pindicator is bugging all of us (or is it just me?) on our spelling, I guess I should research writing.
8: Catherine shows up. And she convinces me that Peter is just a faker. Kublai Strauss, take him out ASAP, while I improve our relations with this nice girl.
9: There's nothing to see at move along so I move along to nothing to see
10: Theory is now size 4 and making a worker.
Who wants to have a city with gold, marble and copper?
Renaming cities...
PISSES ME OFF!!!
change worker build to warrior.
1: I spot a peculiar sign NE. It says "Peter this way"
2: I name our second city Chaos. And spot more signs. They say move along and nothing to see. I send a warrior immediately to check it out.
3: Make me bacon, filthy workers. We should whip them more, since they are really rude.
6: We meet the English. What! We already met the English? This very ugly woman must be an imposter.
7: Pottery is done, and since pindicator is bugging all of us (or is it just me?) on our spelling, I guess I should research writing.
8: Catherine shows up. And she convinces me that Peter is just a faker. Kublai Strauss, take him out ASAP, while I improve our relations with this nice girl.
9: There's nothing to see at move along so I move along to nothing to see
10: Theory is now size 4 and making a worker.
Who wants to have a city with gold, marble and copper?
Attachments
Munterpipe
Clums
Here's the save.
Zalson is up. Take it quickly, before the prankster steals it.
http://forums.civfanatics.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=117112&stc=1&d=1140530863
Zalson is up. Take it quickly, before the prankster steals it.
http://forums.civfanatics.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=117112&stc=1&d=1140530863
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
Right! That IS IT. No more points for anyone. Geez - finds some signs but not all of them - and they are right there in the open. And doesn't understand why Theory is such a great name for chaos' capital. And, finally, plays from the wrong save THE WRONG SAVE!!.
mutter mutter call's himself a cleaner - ha - my grandmother in her army boots could do better mutter mutter
mutter mutter call's himself a cleaner - ha - my grandmother in her army boots could do better mutter mutter
Munterpipe
Clums
The prankster is a Stankster wankster
hehehe
In yo Face!
hehehe
In yo Face!I'm ready to report. Ugh, tired. Here's an idea; try not to stay up until 4 two consecutive days in a row. It makes you grouchy and not social and, worst of all tired.
10 turns. I can totally do this. But I got's other stuff to do.
IT: Automate the worker. I mean, come on!
1. 1280 BC
I love tree hugging? What a horrible name for a warrior. Oh well (OOC: how do you name units? I've not been able to figure this out)
Stick him on a hill and fortify him. If I end up building a settler, he might escort it.
Normally I'd poke around a bit, but I went right after the cleaner, so we should be ok.
Set homeboy to explore... click into options and set up auto-promote and other stuff.
Turn off enter at end of turn.
4. 1160
Kublai shows up. Just say hi. Apparently screenshots aren't taking in windowed mode... oh well.
5. 1120
Theory starts a settler. Why? it was recommended.
6. 1080
Get writing. Make a decision between mysticism and hunting. Go with the cheaper mysticism. Oooh,and a forest grew near Theory.
7. 1040
Start a barracks in Chaos, on Sid's orders. I mean, we have TWO warriors.
I set the new warrior from Chaos to explore.
8. 1000
WTH? "Your homeboy was defeated by a barbarian warrior?" Not Home Boy!!!
Start hunting.
10. 950
Whose got it next? Our lands.
I think the next settler should go up, to the north and east of Theory. You'll see it, I'm sure.
Succumb to Chaos!
--Zalson
10 turns. I can totally do this. But I got's other stuff to do.
IT: Automate the worker. I mean, come on!
1. 1280 BC
I love tree hugging? What a horrible name for a warrior. Oh well (OOC: how do you name units? I've not been able to figure this out)
Stick him on a hill and fortify him. If I end up building a settler, he might escort it.
Normally I'd poke around a bit, but I went right after the cleaner, so we should be ok.
Set homeboy to explore... click into options and set up auto-promote and other stuff.
Turn off enter at end of turn.
4. 1160
Kublai shows up. Just say hi. Apparently screenshots aren't taking in windowed mode... oh well.
5. 1120
Theory starts a settler. Why? it was recommended.
6. 1080
Get writing. Make a decision between mysticism and hunting. Go with the cheaper mysticism. Oooh,and a forest grew near Theory.
7. 1040
Start a barracks in Chaos, on Sid's orders. I mean, we have TWO warriors.
I set the new warrior from Chaos to explore.
8. 1000
WTH? "Your homeboy was defeated by a barbarian warrior?" Not Home Boy!!!
Start hunting.
10. 950
Whose got it next? Our lands.
I think the next settler should go up, to the north and east of Theory. You'll see it, I'm sure.
Succumb to Chaos!
--Zalson
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
pindicator
Emperor
Won't be able to play tomorrow, so I'll fit this in tonight...
Automated workers? Automated workers?! AUTOMATED WORKERS!!!!????
If I'm not mistaken, this is the latest prank:
The other city looks pretty much the same; I won't waste space with a second pic.
I canceled the Obelisks. They are not optimal.
First off, why is that worker farming the flood plains??? Nobody Loves you, that's darn right with
like that! Cancel the farm and set on a cottage. We want lots of cottages early on to quickly gain a tech lead and to be able to expand more cities earlier on! Tech Uber Alles!
You want to complain? Darn right I do! Roading a forest? For what end? I cancel that as well.
I'd consider queueing a warrior in front of the barracks, but the warrior costs just about as much as a barracks, so it seems optimal to keep that build going. Definitely will keep the settler going in Chaos, as we need more cities!
Okay, that's enough for the inherited turn.
1) 925BC
Hunting comes in. We so want Alphabet! Tech Uber Alles!
2) 900BC
Thoery hits max happiness population; cap off the pop and chop/mine the plains hill to its southwest.
4) 850BC
Settler completes in Chaos. Start a Library! Tech Uber Alles!
Keep on max food in Chaos until it hits max population.
Chop comes in. Queue up a Library for after the Barracks so the chopped trees aren't entirely wasted.
5) 825BC
Swap technologies over to Masonry quick. Due in 5 turns anyway, and it will help our 3rd city along.
6) 800BC
With the hammers safely set in the Library, I put a Warrior up in Theory and keep the Library in queue.
Chaos hits max happiness. MM it to max production/commerce with no growth (emphasize commerce over production however. Tech Uber Alles!)
Quarry Query settled on the Marble resource. Yes, directly upon the marble! It is the best city location available: first, as soon as Masonry finishes it will have the marble immediately connected. Second, it will gain a +1 city tile hammer for being on the marble. Third, it grabs all three resources without going into the hideous desert to the south, having only 2 useless tiles (two peaks) versus three (1 peak and 2 desert).
Start a granary to get the town a growing strong. Emphasize growth (without hitting the button, of course!)
7) 775BC
Chop a tree near Chaos to hasten the library along. Tech Uber Alles!
9) 725BC
Masonry comes in, head back to Alphabet. That's +1 hammer for Quarry Query!
Warrior trained out of Theory heads to scout the discoloration to the southeast.
Chop finishes for Chaos' library.
10) 700BC
Those jaundice colored borders are Qin Shi! We are buddies now, and he is just as bad off as we are score-wise. No better reason to be best friends.
Both workers are mining the plains hill above Chaos so that the improvement comes online faster!
I'd leave detailed instructions, but since they won't be adhered to, I won't waste the keystrokes.
Prepare to become saved!
Automated workers? Automated workers?! AUTOMATED WORKERS!!!!????
If I'm not mistaken, this is the latest prank:
The other city looks pretty much the same; I won't waste space with a second pic.
I canceled the Obelisks. They are not optimal.
First off, why is that worker farming the flood plains??? Nobody Loves you, that's darn right with
like that! Cancel the farm and set on a cottage. We want lots of cottages early on to quickly gain a tech lead and to be able to expand more cities earlier on! Tech Uber Alles!You want to complain? Darn right I do! Roading a forest? For what end? I cancel that as well.
I'd consider queueing a warrior in front of the barracks, but the warrior costs just about as much as a barracks, so it seems optimal to keep that build going. Definitely will keep the settler going in Chaos, as we need more cities!
Okay, that's enough for the inherited turn.
1) 925BC
Hunting comes in. We so want Alphabet! Tech Uber Alles!
2) 900BC
Thoery hits max happiness population; cap off the pop and chop/mine the plains hill to its southwest.
4) 850BC
Settler completes in Chaos. Start a Library! Tech Uber Alles!
Keep on max food in Chaos until it hits max population.
Chop comes in. Queue up a Library for after the Barracks so the chopped trees aren't entirely wasted.
5) 825BC
Swap technologies over to Masonry quick. Due in 5 turns anyway, and it will help our 3rd city along.
6) 800BC
With the hammers safely set in the Library, I put a Warrior up in Theory and keep the Library in queue.
Chaos hits max happiness. MM it to max production/commerce with no growth (emphasize commerce over production however. Tech Uber Alles!)
Quarry Query settled on the Marble resource. Yes, directly upon the marble! It is the best city location available: first, as soon as Masonry finishes it will have the marble immediately connected. Second, it will gain a +1 city tile hammer for being on the marble. Third, it grabs all three resources without going into the hideous desert to the south, having only 2 useless tiles (two peaks) versus three (1 peak and 2 desert).
Start a granary to get the town a growing strong. Emphasize growth (without hitting the button, of course!)
7) 775BC
Chop a tree near Chaos to hasten the library along. Tech Uber Alles!
9) 725BC
Masonry comes in, head back to Alphabet. That's +1 hammer for Quarry Query!
Warrior trained out of Theory heads to scout the discoloration to the southeast.
Chop finishes for Chaos' library.
10) 700BC
Those jaundice colored borders are Qin Shi! We are buddies now, and he is just as bad off as we are score-wise. No better reason to be best friends.
Both workers are mining the plains hill above Chaos so that the improvement comes online faster!
I'd leave detailed instructions, but since they won't be adhered to, I won't waste the keystrokes.
Prepare to become saved!
Munterpipe
Clums
Great turns both. Chrth is next.
What is this I see on the screenshot?. Chaos and Theory swapped places?
Someone's been renaming cities again...
What is this I see on the screenshot?. Chaos and Theory swapped places?
Someone's been renaming cities again...
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
Nope - not my 'prank'. I pull pranks and generally shuffle the build queue around and the city population, rename cities (yep - that was me) and post signs in the dark. I'm still working on my theme but that is starting to come together.pindicator said:Automated workers? Automated workers?! AUTOMATED WORKERS!!!!????
Anyone got any suggestions - pls send me a private mail.
pindicator
Emperor
I meant your prank was the mass citizens and obelisk builds.
(The automated workers comment was supposed to be "in character.")
(The automated workers comment was supposed to be "in character.")
ChrTh
Happy Yule!
I GOT IT, so Ruff Hi, no pranks
It's time to ask the immortal question: What Would ChrTh Do?
It's time to ask the immortal question: What Would ChrTh Do?
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