Differing reactions to men & women getting abused

[Narz]

Because we don't have enough threads like this.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/candacelowry/watch-how-people-react-when-they-see-a-woman-abuse-a-man-in


Link to video.

Personally, I've only been physically assaulted by women twice. The first in college when I broke up with my then GF & she came to my room, refused to leave & eventually starting hitting me, eventually hitting me with her purse. I chucked her purse out the window & when she finally left my room to retrieve it I left the room & went for a walk to cool off.

The second time was much scarier because the woman was driving. Being in the passenger seat of an angry driver is one of the scariest first-world-problems out there. So be careful who you get in the car with kids, automobile accidents are the most common cause of death among the CFC demographic (in many countries anyway).

I think the main problem in being abused as a man (by a woman) is getting her to stop without looking like an abuser yourself (unless she's actually physically capable of hurting you then it's a different story, I suspect most women assault out of frustration rather than with the intention to seriously injure though, though I could be wrong). The key is to screen potentially crazy partners before you get involved with one in the first place & break up at the first sign of nuttiness. The more I live the more I realize an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure (nice quote which applies to almost any arena).

I admit, it is hard to see men being abused by women as a serious issue (I guess because I, myself, am not really afraid of direct assault from a woman, underhanded tactics yes). However, I don't really think it's funny either, just kind of sad.

Anyway, pop some corn everyone. I'm looking forward to some thread dramatics to rival the acting in the youtube video.

 

[CavLancer]

Yeesh. Can't imagine such a thing. Pretty sure it was all your fault.

Actually I can imagine it considering some of the women I've dated. Pretty much anything with 2 legs that could form the word "yes", during my youth. Of course I was no great catch either...still not, just blessed.

One of those gals could have kicked my butt too, I'm pretty sure.

 

[Crezth]

Sucks, bro.

edit-

I'm not exactly sure how this is meant to be impressive. I think the agenda here is trying to insist that domestic abuse is an issue that affects both men and women, and, well, that's true enough - as a male victim of domestic abuse, I can attest to that. However, the "40%" figure doesn't really shock me so much as puzzle me. What exactly is the problem here? Surely we can agree that figure should be higher?

The video itself seems to imply that people in public (read: society) are more willing to intervene to help a woman being attacked by a man in public rather than the reverse. From this we should infer that people aren't taking male domestic abuse seriously enough. That very well may be true, but for as feministic as society seems to be, women are still, still getting the short of it in the end.

And yes, I am aware that there are more supportive institutions for female victims of domestic abuse; and yeah, I agree that all victims of abuse should receive aid. But the "40%" and the "#violenceisviolence" betray an MRA agenda, not a genuine human's rights agenda.

 

[NovaKart]

Why should people dismiss it just because its a MRA issue?

 

[Narz]

And yes, I am aware that there are more supportive institutions for female victims of domestic abuse; and yeah, I agree that all victims of abuse should receive aid. But the "40%" and the "#violenceisviolence" betray an MRA agenda, not a genuine human's rights agenda.

Well, everyone's got an agenda & everyone is biased to care about certain issues at the exclusion of others. 40% does sound a little steep but I don't see why someone who cares about "men's rights" is automatically a douche. I generally don't label myself or get involved with movements because movements are necessarily going to biased. I pretty much want the best for humanity as a whole which is why, for instance, I think we should put environmental factors over everything else (besides taking care of the environment really means taking care of humankind).

 

[Borachio]

I think it's hilarious being attacked by a woman. I'd be glad if it happened more often to me.

I've been slapped, punched, spat at, and had handfulls of my hair pulled out. And I just collapsed on the floor each time, helpless with laughter.

Not that it's happened more than 3 or 4 times, though.

 

[Crezth]

Why should people dismiss it just because its a MRA issue?

I can tell you didn't read my post. If you had, you would know that I'm not asking people to dismiss it; and, furthermore, you would understand what my objections are to the framing of the issue.

Go back and try again. If you still can't understand my point, I'll give you the Webster's abridged. But I won't repeat myself until you have proven that you lack basic reading comprehension.

 

[NovaKart]

I can tell you didn't read my post. If you had, you would know that I'm not asking people to dismiss it; and, furthermore, you would understand what my objections are to the framing of the issue.

Go back and try again. If you still can't understand my point, I'll give you the Webster's abridged. But I won't repeat myself until you have proven that you lack basic reading comprehension.

What I took from your post is that you understand the issue but you think it's ultimately unimportant because its men's rights issue. Would you like to respond to that or would you prefer to just be obnoxiously condescending?

 

[Crezth]

Oh, poor victim, you. Don't read people's posts and then get testy when they call you out on it.

What I wrote was that the issue is indeed a serious one, but that:

A. The 40% figure is irrelevant and misleading: it should be 50%, a fact most MRAs will conveniently ignore in order to advance their anti-women agenda, and;

B. Domestic abuse against males does happen and, like all domestic abuse, should be fought. Males have the unique obstacle of sexism working against them in this case. However, this video has the ulterior motive of communicating the anti-feminist message that "look, men have it worse than women here."

Well, yes, in some ways, that's true; but in many other ways it's not. The implicit fact of the 40% figure is that 60% of the victims are still female. How is that not more serious? I've stated before and I'll state again that the primary issue with MRA is that it is seemingly espoused at the expense of feminism, which is poisonous and must be opposed.

 

[Loppan Torkel]

Sucks, bro.

edit-

I'm not exactly sure how this is meant to be impressive. I think the agenda here is trying to insist that domestic abuse is an issue that affects both men and women, and, well, that's true enough - as a male victim of domestic abuse, I can attest to that. However, the "40%" figure doesn't really shock me so much as puzzle me. What exactly is the problem here? Surely we can agree that figure should be higher?

The video itself seems to imply that people in public (read: society) are more willing to intervene to help a woman being attacked by a man in public rather than the reverse. From this we should infer that people aren't taking male domestic abuse seriously enough. That very well may be true, but for as feministic as society seems to be, women are still, still getting the short of it in the end.

And yes, I am aware that there are more supportive institutions for female victims of domestic abuse; and yeah, I agree that all victims of abuse should receive aid. But the "40%" and the "#violenceisviolence" betray an MRA agenda, not a genuine human's rights agenda.

Oh, poor victim, you. Don't read people's posts and then get testy when they call you out on it.

What I wrote was that the issue is indeed a serious one, but that:

A. The 40% figure is irrelevant and misleading: it should be 50%, a fact most MRAs will conveniently ignore in order to advance their anti-women agenda, and;

B. Domestic abuse against males does happen and, like all domestic abuse, should be fought. Males have the unique obstacle of sexism working against them in this case. However, this video has the ulterior motive of communicating the anti-feminist message that "look, men have it worse than women here."

Well, yes, in some ways, that's true; but in many other ways it's not. The implicit fact of the 40% figure is that 60% of the victims are still female. How is that not more serious? I've stated before and I'll state again that the primary issue with MRA is that it is seemingly espoused at the expense of feminism, which is poisonous and must be opposed.

This just needs to be quoted. Domestic violence against men shouldn't be brought up until we have a 50-50 relation between the sexes? It seems you're apologetic toward the issue. 'Yes, there's domestic violence toward men, but...' 'I know of it personally, but...' I heard this before..

 

[Crezth]

Apologetic? I'm not sure you know what the word means. I'm not apologizing for anything. But the message of this video is as much "stop domestic violence against men" as it is "stop domestic violence against men" which is an unnecessary and ultimately immoral tunnel-vision given the fact that this isn't even a uniquely male issue, much less one males suffer disproportionately from.

 

[Loppan Torkel]

I may have used the word wrongly. Is there another word that suits?? not sure...


I think the video is supposed to raise awareness of an issue that isn't reported on very much. Would you accept it as such? Just as something that brings up that men also suffers from domestic violence, perhaps at a greater level than many believe. Nothing more or less to it.

 

[Crezth]

I think that the issue the video raises is superficially true and is being co-opted for a bad purpose.

 

[Loppan Torkel]

Okay. Only superficially? I don't see the bad intent in the OP either... Maybe you're looking for things that aren't there.

 

[NovaKart]

Oh, poor victim, you. Don't read people's posts and then get testy when they call you out on it.

What I wrote was that the issue is indeed a serious one, but that:

A. The 40% figure is irrelevant and misleading: it should be 50%, a fact most MRAs will conveniently ignore in order to advance their anti-women agenda, and;

B. Domestic abuse against males does happen and, like all domestic abuse, should be fought. Males have the unique obstacle of sexism working against them in this case. However, this video has the ulterior motive of communicating the anti-feminist message that "look, men have it worse than women here."

Well, yes, in some ways, that's true; but in many other ways it's not. The implicit fact of the 40% figure is that 60% of the victims are still female. How is that not more serious? I've stated before and I'll state again that the primary issue with MRA is that it is seemingly espoused at the expense of feminism, which is poisonous and must be opposed.

I never claimed I was a victim. You were being obnoxiously condescending and I'm sure it was deliberate so don't get testy when I call you out on it. I did read your post, twice, and that's how I took it and seems like others did too. You seem to be very dismissive of the subject just because its a men's rights issue.

I do think the MRM does a lot of harm to men's issues because they mostly attack feminists but this also means that too many people just dismiss issues because they see them as men's rights issues and anytime someone brings them up its shut down as a MR issue.

 

[Crezth]

I am dismissive of the message and the deliverer of the message because they belong to an anti-feminist agenda. I am not dismissive of the issue. There is a difference.

 

[NovaKart]

I am dismissive of the message and the deliverer of the message because they belong to an anti-feminist agenda. I am not dismissive of the issue. There is a difference.

Don't you see a problem that issues which effect men are generally dismissed with a MRA label effectively meaning that men don't really have a platform to discuss these things? You may be right about the particular video which I haven't had the chance to watch yet but I mean in general and with this issue. A lot of this is the fault of MRA who have made a bad mistake in attacking feminism instead of trying to work with it but I think feminists and liberals are often too quick to throw out the MRA label.

 

[Crezth]

You may be right about the particular video which I haven't had the chance to watch yet but I mean in general and with this issue.

Oh, but don't let that stop you posting about how my interpretation of the video is wrong or whatever!

A lot of this is the fault of MRA who have made a bad mistake in attacking feminism instead of trying to work with it but I think feminists and liberals are often too quick to throw out the MRA label.

Maybe so, but the label isn't what's important. It's the message.

 

[nc-1701]

I've only been struck by a woman in anger once, when I was a teenager my Mom was telling me to go to bed, but I refused stating I was watching Stargate Atlantis. She grabbed for the remote, but I beat her to it, then she punched me in the face. So I punched her back, then she started screaming and my Dad came and separated us. None of us spoke of it again

My parents taught me to be a pacifist as a kid and told me that when people say things like you can't hit women, they are wrong because you can't hit anyone male or female. I'm not a violent person, but I feel that people know they can't hit me without getting hit back regardless of their gender. In a measured way of course, I'm not going to floor someone for slapping me, but I'de slap them back.

My brother told me a story of when he was breaking up with a girlfriend, they were moving her stuff out of his apartment and started fighting. She hit him a candle stick and burnt/cut him (he showed me the blood on his hat) so he called the cops who arrested both of them. She had a friend waiting at the police station to bail her, but he had to spend a night in jail and nobody ended up getting charged.

The justice system is incredibly sexist in many situations, arguing that this should be fixed does not take away from feminism at all. The notion that it does is bizarre and seems to operate on some kind of logic that inequality in one place helps "make up" for inequalities in other places. Which is very childish reasoning and not how you advance a society.

 

[NovaKart]

Oh, but don't let that stop you posting about how my interpretation of the video is wrong or whatever!



Maybe so, but the label isn't what's important. It's the message.

I didn't say it was wrong, why are you so relentlessly hostile and nasty in this thread?

We're talking about the issue and not just the video. Do you think Narz really brought it up just to discuss the video? Do you have anything more to say about the issue or do you just want to blow off steam?