Do Popular people become losers later in life?

[Finvola]

Originally posted by Sultan Bhargash
I was a chubby kid with big plastic rimmed glasses. The self defense mechanism I chose was humor. I was a "loser" thru 9th grade and then made a fairy tale transition to super cool and in with the ladies. Meanwhile the bass player/gymnast cool guy who was responsible for much of my humiliation discovered drugs too early and was a burnout case by the time we graduated.

I don't like the stereotypes of who is a loser and who isn't. It is just as much pressure on the jocks as on the geeks. And those "losers" everyone made fun of at Columbine really did turn out to be the ultimate losers, but not before making things horrible for the "non losers" who taunted them.

If you are loser, remember these things: 1. develop a sense of humor, best acheived by watching comedy movies and late night tv hosts over and over and reading the books of Terry Pratchett. Funny losers soon outgrow the category. Angry losers or sad losers never do.
2. Love yourself as the loser you are, it will make it easier to change. If you are a fat loser, buy comfortable clothes that are even bigger than the big size you need, you will feel better and that may help you get more physically active. If you are thin loser, make fun of fat losers and you will feel better.
3. Remember Users are Losers. Don't use drugs until you are a winner. It will make it easier to beat the rap if you get caught. Just ask the winners of the last 3 presidential elections...

I was bullied through most of Jr High and High school..I was very quiet and quite small and wore what I wanted and didn't care what was in style or popular. This one girl in particular bullied me so badly that I dropped out of school and after the 3rd time of quitting school i stayed out..she made my life hell..why? dunno, she was a big bully, about 100lbs heavier and 8 inches taller..she wasn't too popular either but she had a group of thugs and one of them 'defected' and became my friend and she soon got harrassed. no matter what we did, going to police, the school, nothing worked.. one day my best friend at the time started working at the same restraunt and the became friends..so i knew that the time would come where i'd have to run into her again..she ended up being a quite decent friend to me in the end, helping me out when i wasn't working, putting me up when i didn't have a place to live..but i never fully trusted her.. We talked about all that high school stuff, she just said that she was always getting arrested, always taking drugs and drinking booze, just a trouble maker, she was nice originally (we sat next to each other because we had the same last name) sent off to rehab and came b ack evil . she really had felt bad for being a big mean bully. She came from a good home and family and her parents were sweet as anything. I think she just was hanging out with the wrong people and because she was so tall she realized she could make people as miserable as she was inside.

 

[Rodgers]

I've pretty much got by without getting beaten up/picked on etc for most of my life. I think the way I did it was to become a fast talker/thinker who could weasel his way out of things - thats a pretty good skill to have in later life, so I suppose things worked out OK for me and I suppose I'd say I was in the "geek" category if any.

The only "bully" from school who made it was actually a nice bloke at the same time - he's a banker in the City now. The rest ended up in crappy jobs (hotel porter/barmen) or hooked on heroin

An ex of mine had a great story of meeting a former bully from school who'd made her life hell. She had just landed a new job and bought herself a new car on the back of the pay rise. That same day she went into Asda (low rent supermarket) and saw one of these girls working on the till - they talked politely about how well she was doing and finished the conversation with my ex saying "so, things turned out OK for you then?". The bully's embarassed silence gave her the biggest thrill of her life

 

[funxus]

I'd say I was a typical mobbing object. Short, studied a lot, liked computers, not the funniest guy, not the sportiest guy, not very talkative and wore glasses.
I managed quite well though I had good friends and I wasn't a total loser. I had "girlfriends" when I was 11.
I use contacts now, I have muscles from swimming, and more humor.
I was more of a friend to the "cool" guys, than a cool guy, which helped me not getting bullied.
In my school now, the boys are pretty equal, but hte girls seem to have different "camps". Popular girls, neutral, and losers. There is one guy though, who doesn't have any friends and everybody hates him He's just annoying, and has been stalking me since we started So, you could say we're mobbing him, but that's just because he's annoying.

I think most of it depends on how well you do in school, and that you don't start using drugs regularly.

 

[gr8ful wes]

I was the class clown(seriously, I was voted it my senior year.) Humor and wits kept me out of most trouble. plus the fact that I was generally too short to fight. The one time in high school when I tried to be a bit of a bully with some other buddies, the kid gathered some of his mates and tried to fight me in the hall. I refused to fight, but learned a lesson. I went back to being funny and nice to people.

My wife had a bad experience with a band of b*tches in england. she moved to Bristol from south africa and didnt talk with a local accent. some of the alpha's thought she was snobby and targeted her.(and others) Years later the lead mamma went around and appologized to all she tormented. most of the gang were losers.

 

[JoeM]

You choose your own way in life, if you think your a loser check out the goals you have that you aren't achieving. Either change them to goals you *want* to achieve or try harder goddammit!

I was in the geek crowd at school, but I've achieved everything I've set out to do money/music/career/women/travel (in random order). Who's the loser?

If you mean loser socially, get yourself some confidence (no one can give it to you), and socialise more often.

 

[Melinder]

Bullies don't always become losers, but I'd say there's a funny corelation there - a heck of a lot do. I guess if you never had to learn how to relate to people because you're always just big and cool enough to diss them, you can get into trouble in the adult world when those schoolyard tactics just don't cut it.

I agree that the geek has a good chance of coming out on top of all this IF they develop social skills.

I saw this happening in my highschool. Those who didn't bother to study, didn't make it out of the crap town we grew up in, and nowadays tend to be gas station attendents.