Funny quotes

[SoCalian]

No Gershom Scholem stole it from me.

 

[soren]

According to your profile, you were born in 1988.

Gershon died in 1982.

How could he have stolen it?

Perhaps he used Kabbalistic Mysticism to forsee you composing that quote in the future?

 

[Chairman Meow]

"I'm a moron: I know what I'm doing." - My roommate

 

[#1 Person]

"A man will fight long and hard for a piece of colored ribbon" Napoliean

 

[Amenhotep7]

Look at my sig

Edit: In case I change it

1)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--SoCalian

2)"I feel that we should travel in circles for hours then feel we achieved something." -- silver2039

 

[Nylan]

"When one person dies, it is a tragety. When 10,000 people die, it is...a statistic."--Stalin

 

[nonconformist]

Lady Astor: Winston, you are drunk.
Winston Churchill: Maybe, but in the morning I shall be sober. However, you shall still be ugly.

Chris Eubank (English Eccentric, ex-boxer) upon being asked whether he was a lover or a fighter:
Neither. I'm a thinker. I analyse, philosophise, and use method.

 

[Achinz]

Aristocratic hostess: Now that your husband has retired from politics what do you look forward to in life?

Mrs. de Gaulle: A penis.

____
Hint, if you haven't got it: it's the French pronunciation and stress on the second syllable of the three-syllable word

 

[pboily]

which word has three syllables?

 

[Achinz]

The word Mrs. de Gaulle thought she was saying. Only when a native English speaker says it the stress (or emphasis) falls on the first syllable!

Another hint: imagine a French person who pronounces 'hat' as 'at'

 

[Dann]

She meant to say "Happiness"! But it came out....

Hahahahahaha....

 

[pboily]

Originally posted by Achinz
The word Mrs. de Gaulle thought she was saying. Only when a native English speaker says it the stress (or emphasis) falls on the first syllable!

Another hint: imagine a French person who pronounces 'hat' as 'at'

got it...

 

[Achinz]

"We believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons."

—Vice President Dick Cheney

 

[Goober]

"World War IV shall be fought with sticks and stones, if at all" - Albert Einstein.

I am particularily fond of that one . . .

 

[Arvln]

I saw it in someone signature in this forumn

"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that fire department generally uses water."

 

[Jawz II]

are you kidding,they couldnt hit an elefant at this ra.. BANG

some american civil war dude right before he ate it,i think he was a general

forgot which side he was on

 

[taper]

One of the guys I live with uttered these gems.

Son of a crap with a pork pie hat in the middle!
There is so much happiness in this room it makes me want to shoot myself.
You're a bad influence on my nose.
When you make a grown man cry, I hope you feel good.
Tips and batteries isn't much of a game
If you're waiting for me to get angry and swear at you, it's not going to work this time.
You can cook on me cause I'm so dang hot.
Life is the cheapest thing in the world.

There's more, but I can't remember them now. They're even funnier when you consider this guy's going into the seminary next year.

 

[SoCalian]

I posed a couple of ones similar to those, taper we call them Loganisms(after the name of our freind.

Originally posted by SoCalian
A few of my friends are compiling a book of quotes form one of my other friends. Here a few of them:

"What I'm gay?"

"No I don't exist, so stop talking to me."

and the one that started it all
"You have to be strong to strum all day, not hopping to accomplish anything, but in the end you go for the food instead."

A new one came up this weekend

Me: Dude, you need to learn how to play Purple Haze on your guitar.
Logan: No, I'm not gonna play anything from the 80s unless it's by Led Zeppelin.

 

[LLXerxes]

I got one, I got one!

"I think we can agree that the past is over."
George Bush.
The quote might not be exact, but it should due!

 

[YNCS]

Stupidity got us into this mess, why won't stupidity get us out? ~Will Rogers