George Bush Jokes

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Two Generals walk into the Oval Office to give the daily update on the War on Terror.

"Mr President," the first General begins "Two Brazillian Soliders have been killed in Iraq."

George Bush breaks down in tears with his head in his hands.

The Generals stand bemused as the President is usually rather stoic when hearing casualty reports.

"Sir," asks the General, "what's wrong?"

George Bush looks up and replies, "How many's a Brazillian?"

 

[Superkrest]

omigod....lololol...thats great..thank you so much for this little peice of ammo against my crazy conservitive boss.

 

[nonconformist]

George W Bush, George Bush Sr., Rumsfeld, and Cheyney are riding on a sledge in Alaska. Suddenly, a pack of hungry wolves chase after them.
"Damnsit!" says George, "They're catcherising up! We need to gain ground by dropping weight!"
At this point, George Sr. says "My son, the only thing I can do is sacrifice my self" ad he leaps off,a nd is ripped apart by the wolves.
The wolves are still catching up.
"Damnerisations! We need to lose more weight!" so Rumsfeld goes
"The implication you're implying that I should, explicitly, or implicity sacrifice myself has been acknowledged" and he jumps off.
"Damnit, Dick, they's still there!"
So Cheyney jumps off as off as soon as possible "Take this, you *******s!"
But the wolves are still cathcing up.
"Ah, damnit! Now I'm gonna use the shotgun!"

 

[Takhisis]

A man dies, and he goes up to heaven.
He meets St. Peter in a room with thousands of big clocks and asks kim
"-What are all those clocks doing here?
-Well, they are from politicians´ and rulers´ lives. Each time a politician makes a mistake, the hands move forward and one second is taken off his lifespan. Whena clock reaches 24 hours, the politician dies."
The man walks watching the labels, then he comes back to St. Peter and asks him:
"-Why is Bush´s clock not here?
-Aaaaah, that one... it´s in my office, you see, I needed a fan."

 

[LLXerxes]

George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Ben Franklin, Bill Clinton and George Bush are in a plane.
They start an arguement, when Washington pulls out a buck. "I'm gonna make one person happy" he says as he drops the dollar out the plane.
Then Abe gets up. "I'll make 5 people happy." and he drops $5 of the plane.
Franklin walks to the hatch. "I'll own you all, by making 100 people happy." he says as he drops 100 smackaroos down the hatch.
Clinton starts laughing. "I'll make everybody in the whole world happy." He says, and then he drops George Bush down the hatch."

 

[Nobody]

Franklin said he will "own" you?

 

[Nobody]

"How many's a Brazillian?"

LOL i expected something lame but that was great

 

[useless]

"finally we have found the missing link between humans and apes!" said the scientest
"so what is it then?" said george bush
"you" said the scientest
"oh that explains the emails i get from animal planet" george bush said

 

[Own]

What were George W. Bush's 4 hardest years of his life?

2nd Grade

 

[seasmath]

@ Own: That's cruel...

 

[Takhisis]

ten characters

 

[The Person]

GWB was on an audience to the Queen of England. During his stay he asked her why Britain did so well. "Oh, that's easy," the Queen said. "You just need smart politicians."
"Could you please give me an example?" GWB asked her.
"No problem," the Queen said and phoned Tony Blair.
"I'm thinking of a person," she told Tony. "He has the same mother and father as you, but he's neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?"
"That would be me, your Majesty," Tony answered.

GWB was very impressed, so he decided to do the same test on his underlings. Congress and the Senate discussed the Queen's question for two weeks before they finally came to the conclusion that it had to be Jimmy Carter.
"That's wrong," GWB said when they told him. "It's Tony Blair!"

 

[Own]

Maybe I'm missing something that happened, but it seems like this is a general stupidity joke, not specific to dubya.

 

[The Person]

Well, I heard it this way, but certainly you can put in other names and it would still be funny. But that's true for the other jokes as well. I've even heard another version of the "2nd grade" joke where it's talk about Swedes instead (you know, Scandinavian animosity).

 

[Own]

The only one that only works for george w bush is the 3 brazilian soldiers. Btw, at that.

 

[The Person]

Apparently you've got no imagination. It doesn't take a major rewrite to put in any other person in any joke, no matter if they're Bush related or not.

As I said, my joke was not a rewrite, but the original as I heard it.

 

[Takhisis]

Well, I heard it this way, but certainly you can put in other names and it would still be funny. But that's true for the other jokes as well. I've even heard another version of the "2nd grade" joke where it's talk about Swedes instead (you know, Scandinavian animosity).

still there are some consequences to Bjorundsfjord... :shakehead

 

[Trogg]

A man dies, and he goes up to heaven.
He meets St. Peter in a room with thousands of big clocks and asks kim
"-What are all those clocks doing here?
-Well, they are from politicians´ and rulers´ lives. Each time a politician makes a mistake, the hands move forward and one second is taken off his lifespan. Whena clock reaches 24 hours, the politician dies."
The man walks watching the labels, then he comes back to St. Peter and asks him:
"-Why is Bush´s clock not here?
-Aaaaah, that one... it´s in my office, you see, I needed a fan."

but i dont think bush will be goin to heaven

 

[Takhisis]

Nope... but St. Peter got his clock anyway.

 

[Sophie 378]

Did you know about his blog website? It's at dubya dubya dubya dot com.