Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
What is Asterix? That might be the missing piece to this.
I know what an asterisk (*) is, though.
Historical Joke Thread
- Thread starter Adler17
- Start date
What is Asterix? That might be the missing piece to this.
I know what an asterisk (*) is, though.
Dann
Green bug
Or maybe she doesn't want to be indentified with Gauls? 
Well, who would?
Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
It means you have a bleak outlook on life.
A pessimistic person would look at a glass with 50% volume of water, and say that it's half empty.
Whereas an optimistic person would say that it's half full. You understand what I mean?
Oh, and thanks for the wiki, PL.
amadeus
Bishop of Bio-Dome
Godwynn
March to the Sea
- Joined
- May 17, 2003
- Messages
- 20,524
Dragonlord
Fantasy Warlord
*shock* I was all set to rib you for being totally ignorant... then I looked at that Wiki-article and it says: "Asterix is less known in the US".... awwwlright, so I guess you're not alone in being ignorant..
*no offense meant*To you and all other ignorant Americans: you don't know what you've been missing! Go and get yourself some Asterix today (and Lucky Luke too!)!!!
But start out with the older ones first - some of the newer comics aren't up to the old standard...
After the death of Gosciny, Uderzo was unable to keep the level, and the quality regularly drop.
Asterix is very funny, as it place in a "roman" context a lot of today stereotype about people from different places.
The kids will love the fight between the Gauls and the Romans, adults will seek the many puns.
I've read them dozens of time, and I still discover some new ones from time to time.
Dragonlord
Fantasy Warlord
Exactly! I was a big Asterix fan as a kid and know the Asterix stories more or less by heart (the older ones at least), but I still return to them every now and then for some refreshing light reading... and I'm always finding something new I hadn't recognized as a kid.
I just wish my French were good enough to read them in the original, I'm sure the puns are even better..
Yes they are!Exactly! I was a big Asterix fan as a kid and know the Asterix stories more or less by heart (the older ones at least), but I still return to them every now and then for some refreshing light reading... and I'm always finding something new I hadn't recognized as a kid.
I just wish my French were good enough to read them in the original, I'm sure the puns are even better..
ArneHD
Just a little bit mad
I got this of wikipeida, look under "grog":
The U.S.S. Constitution, as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons (184,000 l) of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (fresh water distillers). However, let it be noted that according to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons (184,000 l) of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds (5,250 kg) of black powder and 79,400 gallons (300,500 l) of rum."
Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."
Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds (250 kg) of beef and 64,300 gallons (243,400 l) of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each.
By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, and though unarmed, she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons (151,400 l) of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn.
The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, NO rum, NO wine, NO whiskey and 38,600 gallons (146,100 l) of stagnant water.
The U.S.S. Constitution, as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons (184,000 l) of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (fresh water distillers). However, let it be noted that according to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons (184,000 l) of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds (5,250 kg) of black powder and 79,400 gallons (300,500 l) of rum."
Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."
Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds (250 kg) of beef and 64,300 gallons (243,400 l) of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each.
By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, and though unarmed, she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons (151,400 l) of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn.
The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, NO rum, NO wine, NO whiskey and 38,600 gallons (146,100 l) of stagnant water.
Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
So they drank it all? Or they made grog out of all their water?
Adler17
Prussian Feldmarschall
That must be good times for US sailors, at least some of them. But I don't want to see her leavers.
Adler
Adler
JonnyB
Workaholic
From an article about a book on Nazi humor.
Two men meet. "Nice to see you're free again. How was the concentration camp?"
"Great! Breakfast in bed, a choice of coffee or chocolate, and for lunch we got soup, meat and dessert. And we played games in the afternoon before getting coffee and cakes. Then a little snooze and we watched movies after dinner."
The man was astonished: "That's great! I recently spoke to Meyer, who was also locked up there. He told me a different story."
The other man nods gravely and says: "Yes, well that's why they've picked him up again."
-Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a man who isn't saluting.
"Why aren't you saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," comes the answer. "I'm not crazy!"
-Hitler and Göring are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. "Why don't you just jump?" suggests Göring.
-"A senior Nazi visits a factory and asks the manager whether he still has Social Democrats among his workforce.
"Yes, 80 percent," comes the reply.
"Do you also have members of the Catholic Center Party?" "Yes, 20 percent," the manager responds.
"Don't you have any National Socialists?"
"Yes we're all Nazis now!"
-"Göring has attached an arrow to the row of medals on his tunic. It reads 'continued on the back.'"
(And from near the end of the war)
-"What will you do after the war?"
"I'll finally go on a holiday and will take a trip round Greater Germany!"
"And what will you do in the afternoon?"
Two men meet. "Nice to see you're free again. How was the concentration camp?"
"Great! Breakfast in bed, a choice of coffee or chocolate, and for lunch we got soup, meat and dessert. And we played games in the afternoon before getting coffee and cakes. Then a little snooze and we watched movies after dinner."
The man was astonished: "That's great! I recently spoke to Meyer, who was also locked up there. He told me a different story."
The other man nods gravely and says: "Yes, well that's why they've picked him up again."
-Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a man who isn't saluting.
"Why aren't you saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," comes the answer. "I'm not crazy!"
-Hitler and Göring are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. "Why don't you just jump?" suggests Göring.
-"A senior Nazi visits a factory and asks the manager whether he still has Social Democrats among his workforce.
"Yes, 80 percent," comes the reply.
"Do you also have members of the Catholic Center Party?" "Yes, 20 percent," the manager responds.
"Don't you have any National Socialists?"
"Yes we're all Nazis now!"
-"Göring has attached an arrow to the row of medals on his tunic. It reads 'continued on the back.'"
(And from near the end of the war)
-"What will you do after the war?"
"I'll finally go on a holiday and will take a trip round Greater Germany!"
"And what will you do in the afternoon?"
Adler17
Prussian Feldmarschall
Other jokes there:
From German Jews:
"Two Jews are about to be shot. Suddenly the order comes to hang them instead. One says to the other "You see, they're running out of bullets."
"My father is in the SA, my oldest brother in SS, my little brother in the HJ (Hitler Youth), my mother is part of the NS women's organisation, and I'm in the BDM (Nazi girls group)."
"Do you ever get to see each other," asks the girl's friend?
"Oh yes, we meet every year at the party rally in Nuremberg!"
A joke against the Italians (again):
The German army HQ receives news that Mussolini's Italy has joined the war.
"We'll have to put up 10 divisions to counter him!" says one general.
"No, he's on our side," says another.
"Oh, in that case we'll need 20 divisions."
However indeed the black Jewish humor in Germany was away for long. Only recently there are signs it returns.
Adler
From German Jews:
"Two Jews are about to be shot. Suddenly the order comes to hang them instead. One says to the other "You see, they're running out of bullets."
"My father is in the SA, my oldest brother in SS, my little brother in the HJ (Hitler Youth), my mother is part of the NS women's organisation, and I'm in the BDM (Nazi girls group)."
"Do you ever get to see each other," asks the girl's friend?
"Oh yes, we meet every year at the party rally in Nuremberg!"
A joke against the Italians (again):
The German army HQ receives news that Mussolini's Italy has joined the war.
"We'll have to put up 10 divisions to counter him!" says one general.
"No, he's on our side," says another.
"Oh, in that case we'll need 20 divisions."
However indeed the black Jewish humor in Germany was away for long. Only recently there are signs it returns.
Adler
privatehudson
The Ultimate Badass
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2003
- Messages
- 4,821
I was listening to Antony Beevor's excellent book on Berlin today which mentions some of the "Berliner" humour at the end of the war. It tended to be very black and frequently bordered on what the Nazis would consider treasonous.
One example was that the population of the city noted that the Russians tended to choose fat women as targets for rape. Usually the only women who had managed to retain a decent diet near the end of the war were wives or mistresses of Nazi party officials. In the dark days after the end of the war Berliners found some amusement in this - after all such women deserved everything they got in their eyes.
I guess when your city and country are that deep in trouble you find amusement where and when you can.
One example was that the population of the city noted that the Russians tended to choose fat women as targets for rape. Usually the only women who had managed to retain a decent diet near the end of the war were wives or mistresses of Nazi party officials. In the dark days after the end of the war Berliners found some amusement in this - after all such women deserved everything they got in their eyes.
I guess when your city and country are that deep in trouble you find amusement where and when you can.
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
If you haven't already get "Stalingrad" by him also. Equally good.
In the book, IIRC, there was a story of one General who had gone through Hell defending Stalingrad only to get drunk on the night of it's liberation and fall through ice crossing the river. I believe he died either of drowning or pnuemonia.
