A descendant of George Armstrong Custer went to a painter and said "I'd like a painting of my most famous ancestor's most famous accomplishment, Custer's Last Stand." The painter thinks about it for a while, then tells Custer Jr. to come back in a month with $10,000 and he'd get his painting. A month later, Custer Jr. returns, pays the painter, and the painting is brought out. At the top of the painting is a cow with a halo over her head looking down on the ground. On the ground as far as the eye can see are Native Americans making love. Custer Jr. looks at the painting and says "what does this have to do with Custer's Last Stand." The painter replies "this painting represents Custer's last words." "Oh, and what were they?" "Holy Cow, look at all the f***ing Indians."
Historical Joke Thread
- Thread starter Adler17
- Start date
Dragonlord said:@Eran and Taliesin: Lighten up guys... the logical fallacy is part of the joke! Jeez, and they said in another thread that Germans don't have a sense of humor....
Oh, I know it was a joke. My idea of humor is pointing out logical fallacies in other jokes; it's rather droll.
FriendlyFire
Codex WMDicanious
GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb -- I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of -- I shouldn't call him my little brother -- my brother, Jeb, the great governor of Texas.
JIM LEHRER: Florida.
GOV. BUSH: Florida. The state of the Florida
ahahahahah thats GOLD
JIM LEHRER: Florida.
GOV. BUSH: Florida. The state of the Florida
ahahahahah thats GOLD
RegentMan
Deity
Did you know most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.
The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.
The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
Arlborn
Legendary Noob
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2006
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Big historical joke?
BRAZIL!!
Only one country to declare independence from europe colonizators(Portugal in this case) and keep a Monarchy(while all others went to Republic)! Guess who was the "king"??? The Prince of Portugal! LOL
Last country to officially abolish slavery?? LOL
Man, so many jokes in Brazilian history At least nowdays we are better off compared with the others South Americans countries xD
Love my country
BRAZIL!!
Only one country to declare independence from europe colonizators(Portugal in this case) and keep a Monarchy(while all others went to Republic)! Guess who was the "king"??? The Prince of Portugal! LOL
Last country to officially abolish slavery?? LOL
Man, so many jokes in Brazilian history
At least nowdays we are better off compared with the others South Americans countries xDLove my country
Gelion
Retired Captain
Arlborn unless you are from Brazil I think you should find a better "joke" for this thread. Thanks for bumping it though
Arlborn
Legendary Noob
- Joined
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- Messages
- 1,939
dutchfire said:
Yea an? So it was from south america then? Thx for the information!
Yeah Im Brazilian
And ups, I was searching some information else and then I saw this thread in the search results and thought it was a nice title, forgot to check the date >.< My bad, sorry
Will check the date from now on.
Gelion
Retired Captain
Its okay, we should have a new round of jokes anyway.
Adler17
Prussian Feldmarschall
Mauritania aboloshed slavery not before 1980 (it is still practizised there!). In Germany at last in 1815 slavery was abolished. In Prussia in 1853 a law was made to liberate all slaves entering Prussian soil. No compensation should be payed. Seems there was a need for such a law.
Adler
Adler
Adler17
Prussian Feldmarschall
Because some are still cought with their brains in medievel times?
Adler
Adler
Adler17 said:
no its more along the lines that spike tv is always trying to be the hippest coolest channel on tv, and they are almost as bad as fox, im sure both stations would gladly air that, and have bum fights for intermission.
Kinda sad to see but like a car wreck, u just cant help but look...
FriendlyFire
Codex WMDicanious
Epic from Alexander.
After hes death all hes generals and rulers came to honor him. But they could not stand in the presence of each other such was there distrust. As each would claim to be better then the other. Until it was suggested they meet as equals beneath Alexanders empty throne, hes armout and shield. Only then under the presence of Alexander did they meet. Such much have been to be in the court of Alexander the great when he was alive.
After hes death all hes generals and rulers came to honor him. But they could not stand in the presence of each other such was there distrust. As each would claim to be better then the other. Until it was suggested they meet as equals beneath Alexanders empty throne, hes armout and shield. Only then under the presence of Alexander did they meet. Such much have been to be in the court of Alexander the great when he was alive.
Adler17
Prussian Feldmarschall
A KGB colonel: What does it mean, he escaped?!? Didn't I ordered to guard all exists?
KGB seargent: Yes, sir, Towarishtsh colonel! But he escaped through the entrance!
A small joke I just read.
Adler
KGB seargent: Yes, sir, Towarishtsh colonel! But he escaped through the entrance!
A small joke I just read.
Adler
Gelion
Retired Captain
In Gorbahevs times there was this joke:
There are two solutions to the "lack of nutrition" problem:
1. Increase amounts of food
2. Decrease amount of eaters
There are two solutions to the "lack of nutrition" problem:
1. Increase amounts of food
2. Decrease amount of eaters
An American paratrooper is shot in Normandy, captured by the Nazis, and forced into a POW camp. One day, a doctor comes into his cell.
"I'm afraid your leg is infected. We'll have to amputate."
The paratrooper is unafraid. "When you do, fly over my base and toss my leg back to the Allies."
"Yah," says the doctor. "We'll do that."
The operation is successful, but soon the paratrooper's other leg becomes infected.
"We'll have to amputate," says the doctor.
"Then take my other leg and drop it over my old base,"
It is done as he asks, but the soldier's arm needs amputation as well.
"Could you do the same as before?" asks the paratrooper.
"NEIN!" shouts the doctor. "We know what you're doing! You're trying to escape!"
"I'm afraid your leg is infected. We'll have to amputate."
The paratrooper is unafraid. "When you do, fly over my base and toss my leg back to the Allies."
"Yah," says the doctor. "We'll do that."
The operation is successful, but soon the paratrooper's other leg becomes infected.
"We'll have to amputate," says the doctor.
"Then take my other leg and drop it over my old base,"
It is done as he asks, but the soldier's arm needs amputation as well.
"Could you do the same as before?" asks the paratrooper.
"NEIN!" shouts the doctor. "We know what you're doing! You're trying to escape!"
brachy-pride
Warlord
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2005
- Messages
- 123
Slaughter said:
??
As far as I know Brazil lost to Argentina + Uruguay the only battle fought in Ituzaingo, and Uruguay finally did not become a brazilian province.
If I had to say something, then it would be a Brazilian defeat, Uruguayan victory, and Argentina gets no territory but the result is good for Argentina.
@Pug:
Did you get that joke from the movie Memphis Belle? It took me a while to get it when I first saw it . . .
Did you get that joke from the movie Memphis Belle? It took me a while to get it when I first saw it . . .
steviejay
Now in Black and White!!
Eran of Arcadia said:
heh yea Sean Austin's character says it. I love that joke
Post to subscribe and to hail the contributers to this thread, lot of laughs in here
