When it is personal there is value to both the giver and receiver.
There's value to the receiver, but if it's all relative, then that value is at the expense of someone else. It's not to me, because the receiver does not become 'less poor than' me, but the poor shlub who goes into more poverty relative to the person aided.
And, since the giver isn't actually making anything better (net), any benefit he receives is basically feel-good placebo. The more deceived I am, the more placebo benefit I receive.