Is this a terrible mistake? Is my wife going to kill me? Do I deserve to die?

[hobbsyoyo]

You are putting in a ton of effort into this gift and from my experience most women will really appreciate that, especially the good ones... Plus you 1. remembered the anniversary to begin with and 2. are putting together an elaborate gift with MEANING. Who the hell puts meaning into gifts anymore? That is definitely a big plus.

Thanks! Yeah, it's something I'm making and I hope that counts for something. Plus, it's art and we don't really have any art in the house.

I think the key here will be creating this so that it also works as a housepiece that can be out on display and doesn't look too out of place wherever it ends up. Since you're working with gemstones it sounds like it's going to be shiny and unique, so that's already working in your favour. How are you going to be sanding down the stones? Is that what you're doing? I would know nothing about beginning a project like this.

Yeah, I really hope that what I make will turn out nice enough that we can display it. We'll have to cordon it off for now because of the dogs and we actually don't really have anywhere to put it at the moment, but I'll figure it out.

The stones are (thankfully) already polished. The malachite and quartz crystals are rough cut, but that's ok for the first year. In the future I may switch over to all-jewelry quality stuff, but then again you're kind of limited in what you can do with that creatively since they're all cut to be mounted in rings and pendants. Plus I really dig the organic and otherworldly shapes you can find with natural stones. I already eyed some that would make fantastic trees for the landscape.

Either way, I think that the choice of base/container or whatever it is that is going to be holding this together might be important as well, and not just the stones inside it/on top of it. For some reason I'm picturing a zen garden type thing in my head, with sand and a cute little rake or something, but sometimes it's not wise to listen random ideas coming from that head of mine.

THANK YOU!

You solved a huge problem I had. I realized the mounting was going to be important and the best I could come up with was to make a landscape out of foam board, paint and stuff (the kind of landscape people make for model train towns). I didn't think I'd like the look of that but it was the best I could come up with. You're idea is MUCH better! OMG thanks brah!

Oh course, now I've got a giant chunk of foam board on my hands, but I think I'll make the box to hold the sand out of that (painted of course). In the future, I'll make one out of wood (and my wife is buying me a tool box this year I could make it with next year!).

You could also buy a bottle of decent wine and include that with the gift "just in case", and play it up as a "I knew you'd love it, but it's so unconventional of a gift that I needed something to complement it.. just in case.. winkwink" type of thing. Plus then you can enjoy the wine together and talk about the future of the sculpture.

Yeah, I did something like that. I found a pendant made out of a trilobite fossil and silver and I also bought some gemstone pendants (they are shiny and green and purple fluorite) and I'm going to buy a chain to put them all on as a just-in-case fallback. It'll still be quirky but hopefully acceptable if worse comes to worse.

I don't have a wife though and I seem to be horrible with women, so take this all with a grain of salt

Nah dude, you really helped out.

Buy a small blank book with 20 to 30 pages. Create your annual page sets separately by hand or on a computer and then cut them just smaller than the book pages. When appropriate, paste them into the book. By "tipping in" the pages you get to create them at your leisure and in private and if you "mess up" you can fix it before she sees the addition.

THANK YOU! That's perfect!

I will have to track down a blank book now. This is turning into quite a project.

 

[MobBoss]

:\ I don't know.... I feel like if I don't stun her with it when she first sees it and I have to do a bunch of explaining to get her to like it then I've failed. That's what I'm afraid of.

My advice is don't worry about it. One realization that you need to accept in marriage is that, sooner or later you are going to let one another down in some way. It happens, and its unavoidable, especially since you cant read each others minds. So, the issue isn't what you may have failed, the issue is how you handle it when you really do fail (and vice versa for her).

If she goes through life thinking her husband is never going to let her down then she's setting herself up for disappointment.

So, go with what you think best, but don't drive yourself insane trying to outthink the issue. Some women do get hung up on their jewelry, but the simple fact that you listened enough to even attempt to get her what she wanted will mean more to her in the long run.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

My advice is don't worry about it. One realization that you need to accept in marriage is that, sooner or later you are going to let one another down in some way. It happens, and its unavoidable, especially since you cant read each others minds. So, the issue isn't what you may have failed, the issue is how you handle it when you really do fail (and vice versa for her).

If she goes through life thinking her husband is never going to let her down then she's setting herself up for disappointment.

So, go with what you think best, but don't drive yourself insane trying to outthink the issue. Some women do get hung up on their jewelry, but the simple fact that you listened enough to even attempt to get her what she wanted will mean more to her in the long run.

Thanks for the words of wisdom.

 

[JollyRoger]

Don't set the bar too high - FutureHobbs will thank you.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I'm too tired to be snarky to anyone. Futureme will be more pissed that I didn't go to bed than pissed that I was a decent person to Mobby because he was a decent person to me.

 

[FriendlyFire]

She will punish you with No sex.
Just shower her with small inexpensive gifts of chocolate, alcohol, sweets, flowers and clothing.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Just shower her with small inexpensive gifts of chocolate, alcohol, sweets, flowers and clothing.

She can have those things whenever she wants though.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

So our first anniversary is this Sunday and I decided to get my wife something really special to commemorate our marriage and also something that would remind her of the kind of guy I am. So I did just that and now I'm having a midnight panic attack that she may hate it......

She said she would like jewelry, so I had hoped to buy her some fossil jewelry. Basically, sometimes when an animal is fossilized, precious stones or elements will actually seep into the fossil and make it a precious stone that is also a fossil. I thought it would be unique, beautiful and it would always remind her that she married a nerd who likes to go fossil hunting.

Some of those are rather nice. You need to be careful, though, to make sure you'd be getting something genuine and not fake. This is the one I would choose if it were up to me.

What if I made her a sculpture out of gemstones and rare minerals? That would be neat right?

I don't know guys....I'm kind of panicking that it will be ugly and she'll hate it and think it's freaking stupid.

I think it's a great idea. But then I'm into rocks, minerals, and fossils.

Whatever you do, make sure it's contained in something that won't spill everything out on the floor, if it's bumped or somebody sneezes in its direction. You also need to make sure it's not a royal pain to dust.

Anyways, I'm going to make a book to accompany the scene. Each page will have information on the stones used in constructing the scene and will also have a narrative of the symbolism behind them. Each page will also be dated so we can track the growth of the scene (and by extension our life together) over the years.

The plan is that eventually, it will be something truly unique and beautiful like our marriage and we'll have a nice display stand for it in our home.

...

I'm going to write up a little book to go with it that does exactly what you said. I really want to go the extra mile and get a fancy bound book, but since we'll be adding pieces every year I don't know how to make that work logistically.

Get thee to a craft store that sells scrapbooking supplies. These places have all kinds of neat stuff to make books in any shape, size, color(s), and whatever else you can imagine. Explain your ideas to the clerks and they can help you narrow down your choices (it can be a bit overwhelming at first). I can even give you some references for a couple of excellent eBay sellers I buy from. And if you want something custom-done for a reasonable price, there are people on the Etsy site who will do that. Let me know if you're interested.

Since you're working with gemstones it sounds like it's going to be shiny and unique, so that's already working in your favour. How are you going to be sanding down the stones? Is that what you're doing? I would know nothing about beginning a project like this.

Either way, I think that the choice of base/container or whatever it is that is going to be holding this together might be important as well, and not just the stones inside it/on top of it. For some reason I'm picturing a zen garden type thing in my head, with sand and a cute little rake or something, but sometimes it's not wise to listen random ideas coming from that head of mine.

Zen is good. And you can buy small rock tumblers that don't take up a lot of room and are good for small projects. Just make sure you have a well-ventilated workspace, since you need to be able to vent the gases from it.

Do you live near a river that's clean? If so, pick up some river rocks. It's amazing what Nature can create.

 

[FriendlyFire]

She can have those things whenever she wants though.

hmmmmm ...................... I think we have a clash of cultures as Asian culture of gift giving in very different from the western concept. A nice new useful cooking pan and some nice food make for a good gift.

I dont get the western ideal of expensive "gems", jewellery, precious metals.

 

[MobBoss]

I'm too tired to be snarky to anyone. Futureme will be more pissed that I didn't go to bed than pissed that I was a decent person to Mobby because he was a decent person to me.

I'd say set your bar high on things like honesty, trust and opening your heart to her (i.e. no secrets), not on trinkets - a great relationship is more about listening and keeping your word, not what kind of stuff you buy her. That way, if hard times hit and you have to cut back on the material things, the trust and honesty in your relationship will carry you through those times; but if your relationship is built heavily on material things you'll argue and fight far more than is healthy.

Do your best in choosing her gift. The more you listen, the more you'll be in tune with what she really wants. Making some silly errors along the way should create funny memories in the future, and is really part of the learning process you need to develop for each other. Hell, today is my 29th Wedding Anniversary and although I've been with my wife for 31 years total now, i'm still learning stuff about our relationship all the time. And that's even when we are now so in tune with each other we often finish each other sentences.

Have fun with it, enjoy the moment and later on enjoy the memory whatever happens.

 

[Mr. Dictator]

Re: The accompanying book for this project,

Should you want to go just a little further, there are tutorials on how to bind your own book online and it doesn't seem to be impossible. You could even do a small painting of the first stone arrangement on the cover and give it a fancy title, like "A Tale in Talismans"

 

[warpus]

THANK YOU!

You solved a huge problem I had. I realized the mounting was going to be important and the best I could come up with was to make a landscape out of foam board, paint and stuff (the kind of landscape people make for model train towns). I didn't think I'd like the look of that but it was the best I could come up with. You're idea is MUCH better! OMG thanks brah!

No problem man! As we say in Poland, your wife is my wife (No we don't really say that in Poland)

 

[peter grimes]

Haven't yet read the thread, but I want to quickly jump in and say that in my experience handmade personal gifts are Never a bad idea. They are always winners, because it shows that you spent the most valuable thing you have for her sake: your time.

Go for it, and if you'd like any pointers on the craft end, PM me. I do this sort of thing for work pretty often

 

[Farm Boy]

Just shower her with small inexpensive gifts of chocolate, alcohol, sweets, flowers and clothing.

Hobbs sounds like he's doing fine. In an unrelated note small gifts can be hilarious. I think the clerk at an unnamed gas station about developed a hernia and died the day I spun through and bought one box of condoms and one bag of gummi bears. The only words I caught through the wheezing seemed to be "cheap" and "date." I just winked and moved on so I wouldn't have to call an ambulance.

 

[peter grimes]

You likely have a Michaels nearby, look for book bolts. They are used to make books that require changing the number of pages.

My two cents: don't get too ambitious. Keep the project manageable. You're in for the long haul, you don't have to do everything at once. Keep future flexibility in mind.

You might look into one of those wine gift box things that has a hinged lid. It's a simple off-the-shelf way to package, present, store, and display the diorama.

And, since you're an engineer, I fully expect you to build your own rock tumbler and polisher if you ever go that way in he future ;-)

Here's what I made my wife for mother's day - some opals I had bought and never used, set in a mahogany tree, representing our new little family. It's not how I wanted it to turn out (way too Tim Burton), but you can't let the perfect be the enemy of the good - it's not rocket science

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I think it's a fantastic gift on the proviso that you sculpt better than you draw.

 

[Mr. Dictator]

No problem man! As we say in Poland, your wife is my wife (No we don't really say that in Poland)

So is Poland married to Germany, but swings with Russia, or visa versa?

 

[Farm Boy]

Russia if she's less than 30, Germany if she's older?

 

[Mr. Dictator]

Russia if she's less than 30, Germany if she's older?

I'm not sure Poland's penetrated either...

 

[Antilogic]

No problem man! As we say in Poland, your wife is my wife (No we don't really say that in Poland)

The appropriate smiley was good old Groucho: .

But yeah, don't worry Hobbs-man. Just do it.