alex994
Hail Divine Emperor!
NPC me until Friday jap, please + thanks.
JalNES I: Quick and Easy
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LittleBoots
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jalapeno_dude said:What I think? But that would ruin the suspense....
Meh.
Oh well, at least I hope it will make a good story, whatever way it goes.Speaking of stories...
The Warrior Kings of Eire
An excerpt from the overview of Chapter 15 (The Warrior Kings of Eire) of A History of Ancient Eire
The Warrior Kings of Eire is the name given to the group of six great kings of Eire who forged the first united Kingdom of Ireland. The kings, in order, were Niall III the Longshanks, Aed, Phelan, Réamonn I of the Large Shield, Téadóir I the Mad, and Dearg II the Peaceful.
Niall III the Longshanks, 1501-1485 BCE, was an exceptionally large man, his unnatural height augumented by his finely tuned soldier's physique. He led the first Grand Army of Eire against the barbarians. His was quite the bloody campaign, as countless villages in the south were killed to the last man, the women and girls raped and enslaved, and the young boys fed into the implacable war machine that was the Galloglach system. He burned village after village to the ground, striking fast and hard, that neighboring villages would not be aware of the terror awaiting them.
Ironically, as brutal as the king was in the field, he was an ardent supporter of the temple, protector of the poor, and the first to propose a Druidic order, though the King was not able to focus enough attention on seeing the project through, as he was running a military campaign at the same time.
He eventually died due to medical complications now believed to be brought about by his unnatural growth. Historians speculate that the king had a rare pituitary malfunction, though this has never been proven.
Aed, 1485-1470?, is one of two kings of the time about which surprisingly little is know. The historical tradition of the Temple provided a great deal of documentation of the ancient history of Eire, but most information surrounding the two Myth Kings of Eire is based largely in legend. Aed, which means fire, is what the king is referred to in nearly all manuscripts. He is described as an intense, quiet man, though terrifying when enraged. It was Aed who brought the fire arrows of the archers to bear most effectively against the barbarian tribes, burning down many villages before the men had time to escape their homes. Aed, if that is his real name, is assigned no numeral, and given no epithet, supporting the belief that Aed was not, in fact, the King's true name and that his legend overwhelmed his reality. What is known is that he followed the genocidal path of his father in a slightly more creative fashion.
Phelan, 1470?-1460?, falls into the same category as Aed, although even less is known about Phelan. Phelan the word means "wolf" and the legend of the time writes of Phelan as a master tactician and the first to allow a sole survivor to flee to other villages, increasing the surrender rate by a great deal. Again, Phelan is not believed to be the King's real name, but as of the publication of this book, it is all we have to go on.
Réamonn I of the Large Shield, 1460?-1453, Réamonn was the first of the Warrior Kings to spend more time in Eire Proper than campaigning in the field. As a result, he was known more for consolidating and cautiously expanding the kingdom, accepting far more surrenders and particpating in far less extermination. He was never known to carry a shield and the epithet is believed to be derived from the defensive nature of his reign.
A devoutly religious man, Réamonn aided the Temple in making many gains among the populace and began the first proto-Druidic order, a very informal group of priests who were skilled at oration and teaching. They became the King's favoured retainers and enjoyed a large amount of popularity among the common man.
Téadóir I the Mad, 1453-1441, Téadóir is believed to have suffered from rare bouts of accute schizophrenia. At one point, legend has it, going so far as to declare his prize boar a High Priest, the King was still lucid long enough to run a decent campaign against the barbarians, making huge gains through western Ireland. When he turned his attention to the north, he suffered a rather unfortunate bout of insanity and was forced to return to Eire precisely as his army fell into the trap that would ever after be dubbed the Night of Blood. (See later in this chapter for an expanded account of the Night of Blood)
After coming out of his bout with insanity and hearing of the slaughter of his men, Téadóir, already periodically unstable, became positively Mad. He agreed to Galloglach request that no other troops be trained, viewing those troops as inferior. He tried to leave for the frontlines, but the priests feared for his safety in his current state and managed to convince him to stay in Eire. Regardless, he ordered large scale atrocities against the Northern Irish, and although the orders were never sent (as they were shouted in a largely incoherent rant), the Galloglach had planned to commit some anyway. The Galloglach never became fully aware of the madness of Téadóir, believing his "fits" to be ecstasies, wherein he conversed with the divine.
Dearg II the Peaceful, 1441-1412, Dearg was one of the longest reigning Kings in the History of Ireland. Dearg, (meaning "Son of Dagda"), rarely left Eire Proper, as the Galloglach finished the rest of the war off themselves. Dearg instead raised his children to understand the danger of the Galloglach and worked tirelessly to train them in the arts of subtlety, secrecy, manipulation, and intrigue. They were taught Galloglach tactics, Galloglach belief systems, the history and foundation of the Galloglach. The children would understand the Galloglach front to back so that when the day came that the Galloglach found they had no more enemies to fight, the heirs of Dearg could successfully destroy them. There could be no peaceful assimilation of Galloglach into Irish culture. They were a monster, a relic from an earlier age. They had helped create this new world, but they had no place in it.
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
LittleBoots said:
Naughty.
No discussing the future as fact in stories (except, of course, the modern future in which history books are written, and this is usually left extremely vague
)
LittleBoots
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OOC: Sorry, didn't even think about it. Taken care not to do that in the others, ran away with myself this time. Regardless, its removed.
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
And I, too, have removed it from the quote. Now no one will have any clue what we're talking about.LittleBoots said:
LittleBoots
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jalapeno_dude said:And I, too, have removed it from the quote. Now no one will have any clue what we're talking about.
Wonderful. I hope I don't get penalized for assuming success
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
Don't worry. I have some ..... interesting ...... ideas in mind for you...LittleBoots said:Wonderful. I hope I don't get penalized for assuming success
LittleBoots
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jalapeno_dude said:
Interesting... thats bad. Thats only good when it happens to other people
. I hope its nothing crazy like the establishment of a Galloglach dynasty similar to the Mamluks. Seriously. That would be kind of interesting, but make a whole lot of treasured orders worthless. I hope I'm not giving you ideas
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
*starts scribbling notes*LittleBoots said:Interesting... thats bad. Thats only good when it happens to other people
I hope its nothing crazy like the establishment of a Galloglach dynasty similar to the Mamluks. Seriously. That would be kind of interesting, but make a whole lot of treasured orders worthless. I hope I'm not giving you ideas
Keep going...
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
They should feel free to. But it won't be the world that the update takes place in. We'll just grab a backup.Lord_Iggy said:
As a side note, I think that I was probably the first person ever to concieve of the sentence "Luckily, the Vegetable Overlords are in the habit of keeping several backup copies, and merely use one of these to continue."
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
That should definitely be a forum game. Write a sentence (that actually makes sense) that has never been said before.Lord_Iggy said:
LittleBoots
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Oh dear. This should prove to be quite the interesting update. How many orders do you have in? Not like you did an update today anyway... you spoil us JD I'll see if I can think of anything else "interesting", just so you have other ideas...
Not like you did an update today anyway... you spoil us JD I'll see if I can think of anything else "interesting", just so you have other ideas...
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
The object would be to make one as short as possible...Lord_Iggy said:Org niddle poodleywash snigglebiggit?
There are definitely some, but they are mostly several hundred word run-ons.
@LittleBoots: 2.
North King
blech
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Rabid diabetes infested foxes run through the garden spouting blasphemies? I'm pretty sure that hasn't been said anywhere...
Orders should be in tonight.
Orders should be in tonight.
~Darkening~
Weep, Mother.
*Insert omnious words of foreboding here*
Orders away.
Orders away.
Luckymoose
The World is Mine
Orders Sent,let the new aage of Carthage begin.
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
6/10 orders in. Need orders from NK, erez, Iggy, and Dreadnought.
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