LeBoshWade Nes: Bringing the HEAT

[Nuka-sama]

Setting: The year is 2013, and the Miami Heat are currently looking to defend their NBA Championship. Possessing three of basketball's greatest stars, and ten guys who are making league minimum, Miami seeks to win yet another title and be on its way to creating a dynasty.

Players: Each player in this nes will take on the role of a player for the Miami Heat. I'd like to ask that the most experienced and psychopathic players apply for the Big 3.

LeBron James Played by TheLizardKing​

LeBron James is the best player on the Heat roster, and potentially the league. LeBron is a dominant force both on and off the court, as not only is he a basketball player, but he is also an undercover Cop. As a Cop, LeBron will sometimes need to miss games in order to solve mysteries. LeBron is also a volunteer Firefighter on weekends. LeBron also has to spend 10% of his annual salary on strip clubs, no exceptions.

Dwayne Wade​

Dwayne Wade may seem to be LeBron's goofy sidekick but in reality he is the mastermind behind the Heat's attempts to take over the South Florida party scene. Declining on the court, Wade is the only player with a degree of respectability with the Heat for staying with the team that drafted him. Wade's special ability is "Overrated" which should keep him in All Star Games for a while longer

Chris Bosh played by qoou​

Chris Bosh is the least respected of the Big Three, having neither the decency to stay with his team, nor the superhuman athletic ability to have fans no matter his douchey behavior. Bosh has two special abilities. The first, and more well known one, is riding other people's coattails to Titles, All Star Games, and Gold Medals. However his less known, and far more useful ability is "Actually understanding Basketball is his job", where Bosh has the ability to play Basketball every game.

President Barrack Obama played by Masada​

President Obama is the President of the United States of America and the leading ally of the Miami Heat against the United Nations

Ray Allen​

Old and useless, he's a giant middle finger to the Boston Celtics. His ability to piss off Kevin Garnett and Rojon Rondo were intended to be used to provide an interesting storyline to the NBA playoffs, but with Boston's decline, it seems it's unlikely he'll need to use that ability.

Shane Battier​

Shane Battier is a bmaf. No questions. Has a tendency to get burned by former Michigan State players who are now backups for the Golden State Warriors. Should only be a problem twice a year

Other players

If you want, you can pick one of these players to play as. You can even make up a background for them as long as they still suck. I don't care, and the fans sure don't either.

Joel Anthony
Mario Chalmers
Norris Cole
Udonis Haslem
James Jones
Rashard Lewis
Mike Miller
Dexter Pittman

The Faces of Evil

Venomancer played by Lord Iggy​

His Royal Majesty King Venomancer I of Tajikistan, Venomancer has recently withdrawn from the United Nations to pursue his nefarious schemes of bringing the Grizzlies team back to Vancouver. He is also yellow

"Friendly" NPC(s)

Erik Spoelstra​

The plucky young up and coming coach of the Miami Heat, he took a team that everyone thought wasn't ready to play with the big boys and turned them into essentially Basketball's version of the Cleveland Indians in that movie, Major Leaguers. Erik's had it rough coaching a team with only three of the league's perennial all stars, but somehow he managed to turn that into winning one out of two NBA finals series he's coached in. Look to his tactical and strategic genius to get out of tight situations

There are also other teams and such. You have to play them, and the score will be updated in real-ish time, in that, games will happen, but sometimes I'll change the results to reflect what I want. As players, you get to say what you want to do, but be warned that sometimes you have some basketball to play! Other activities you can do are charity work, spending time with your wife, spending time at the strip club, spending time with your wife who happens to work at the strip club, calling out enemy players and teams in the press, doing comercials, and pretty much anything you can think of. You have one and a half action points per day, and all actions but napping takes one action point, napping only takes half a point.

Do NOT post yet

 

[Nuka-sama]

Stats, Standings and everything else has been outsourced to a third party, the NBA who has generously helped to make this game possible

http://www.nba.com/

You may now post

 

[TheLizardKing]

Spoiler :

Ready to keep on pushing.

 

[Nuka-sama]

Confirmed TLK as LeBron

 

[qoou]

Claiming Chris Bosh

 

[Nuka-sama]

qoou confirmed as Chris Bosh

 

[TheLizardKing]

"Yo, I just wanted to say that this team is weak. From Miller to Spoelstra they're trash. As far as I'm concerned their rings are property of one King James. If Mickey Arison cares at all about this team, he'll give me some people that can actually play ball, not pretend. I've seen more effort out of a suburban junior team, then the trash that's been out on the field."

-A quote from Lebron James himself, apparently spoken at a party he attended. While Lebron has refused to directly attribute the quote to himself, the "diss" has taken many in the basketball community back.

From: King James
To: Boshy, Wade-n-bake

Hey fellas, you know the real King James wouldn't say anything like that. You know I spect' you as players. You guys are my team, yo.

 

[Nuka-sama]

Blazers-Heat Preview

The Miami Heat continue their roadtrip to the West Coast tomorrow night to Portland. After being held to a season low 77 points, it seems the Heat locker room has gotten hot. The basketball world has recently been set ablaze by rumored comments by LeBron James, who reportedly called his entire team trash, including the coach. Although the Heat are currently in first place in the Eastern Conference, the decline of Wade has been felt, and LeBron seems to be taking on more responsibilities, something seeming to upset him. A Heat source confirmed that LeBron has been given permission to pretty much change Coach Spoelstra's game plan at will, and to not play defense until the fourth quarter.

Lakers lose to talented, spirited, Wheelchair Basketball team

The Los Angles Lakers continue their recent skid after a tough loss to the Oak Ridge Retirement Community Wheelchair Basketball Team. The Lakers had a big run at the end of the game, but it was not enough to overcome a 50 point game from star guard Quincy Harris. Harris, a World War Two veteran, was a key force for Oak Ridge, seeming to make every shot he took, and played shutdown defense. The only time the Lakers had a chance to climb back into the game was for ten minutes when Harris had no idea who or where he was, and spent a majority of the fourth quarter near the scorers table. The Lakers blame their loss on the fact that Oak Ridge had wheelchairs making it very dangerous to go inside the paint, as the Oak Ridge players would run their feet over. The Lakers have lost five in a row now, and things don't get any easier for them as they play the Woodland Hills Academy for the Blind and Deaf this Saturday.

Warriors Lose on Terrible Referee Calling

Seriously? I mean, really? Generally the home team gets a little leniency, but this was ridiculous.I hesitate to call it a game; it was more of a whistle fest. By the fourth quarter, the fans had enough of the crap and started chanting "Bullsh*t" after a particularly bad call that led to a Memphis basket on a key drive. The Warriors would end up losing the game, and the refs would end up losing something of far greater value.

 

[TheLizardKing]

To: Lakers
From: The King

Talk sh*t, get hit. I knew ya'll were trash.

To: Team
From: L-bron

Yo, let's get it done boys. Them Blazers ain't gonna know what hit em'.

To: Bosh, Wade
From: The Ring Winnah'

Ay, you boys down for visiting Tootsies Cabaret tonight during practice?

 

[Crezth]

ok k tihs nes loks relay col cna i join???? hare is aplication:

i wnat to be lebran james but if taht dosent work i will tak erik spoelstra or mihcael jordan

 

[Seon]

A what.

 

[Nuka-sama]

leBron is already taken, you can be Jordan or Spoelstra or Chalmers

 

[qoou]

To: Bosh, Wade
From: The Ring Winnah'

Ay, you boys down for visiting Tootsies Cabaret tonight during practice?

Nah man, I'm gonna be busy, EDUCATING DA YUFF!

TO DA YUFF
From Bosh

Yo. Go to school. Learn dat . Peace.

 

[Arrow Gamer]

 

[Nuka-sama]

MIAMI LOSES AFTER EPIC PORTLAND RALLY

Miami lost in a stunning upset, with the Portland Trailblazers rallying for a strong finish to win 92-90. The Heat have lost two in a row now, both with collapses on the offensive and defensive ends of the court. The loss comes on the heels of rumored locker room infighting, with LeBron reportedly disrespecting his fellow teammates. LeBron denied the allegations, and instead invited fellow stars Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to a "team meeting". While Wade was unavailable for comment, Chris Bosh declined the invitation to spend more time educating the youth. While parents have applauded Bosh's recent statements encouraging children to stay in school, it seams the chemistry on the court suffered because of it. Bosh had a strong showing, with 29 points and 4 rebounds, clearly focused on the game, while LeBron only scored 15, and committed 4 turn overs. LeBron was reportedly seen with Portlandia stars enjoying local baked goods, and seemed to be out of it at both press and game time saying "Yeh yeh" to every question asked. Coach Spoelstra declined to comment, though official Heat sources confirmed a press conference when the Heat return to Miami. Portlandia will begin airing its third season this January, at 8 PM, 9 PM Central only on TBS.

Oden, Bynum Rumors Linked to Miami

Though both Greg Oden and Andrew Bynum have both been sidelined this year with injuries, sources that requested to remain confidential that are close to the Heat have confirmed that Miami has shown interest in acquiring another big man. Though both Oden and Bynum may not be able to play until 2014, the Heat have indicated that they are willing to take a chance on these players who have both shown very high ceilings. Though talks with Philadelphia have yet to materialize, Oden is set to work out at the Miami training facility this Tuesday.

Gay Leans on Teammates and Peers

Rudy Gay, the Memphis Small Forward, has reportedly taken to leaning on his teammates for their "unconditional and unjudging support". Gay has recently been linked to trade rumors, and has taken it quite personally, though apparently not personally enough to have an impact on the Warriors-Grizzlies game, resulting in a stellar performance for Gay, though he confirms that it is an issue. "Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on" Gay said "And my teammates have been down to have my back, anytime, anywhere". When asked about his preferred landing destination, he confirmed San Francisco with the Warriors, saying "I feel I could live in California much more openly with everything exposed, unlike the ignorance I must deal with in Tennessee". The Warriors Front Office has responded by offering their second worst player to Memphis, but the talks appeared stalled. While Gay would be a perfect fit for San Francisco, the financial impact could be major as well, as Gay in a Warriors jersey could stand to be the highest selling uniform of all time.

 

[Crezth]

to: lebron
from: mongolia

non-aggrssion pack and free trade agrement?

 

[TheLizardKing]

From: King James
To: Whatever African country that is

Always proud to support the motherland. I'll send you Miller's ring, two pieces of string, and a signed pair of new "Air Lebrons". Sound good my African bros?

 

[Crezth]

:to das konige Jamez
from: botswana-mongolian utopistra

aight dats tight, we will send youu are prize colection of MOON ROCK! they moon rock will provide +5 damage and give you powr to walk on water!

 

[SamSniped]

Wat the hell did I find

 

[Lord_Herobrine]