N.A.O. Orbital Command Center, Tellus Division
It was finished. Those Blarney Stone kissing, Luck O' The Irish fools had been routed. A tide of fleeing midget leprechauns flashed into view on all screens, as a voice came in over the comlink.
"Second Narcissist Battalion reporting, Supreme Chairman. Significant casualties were suffered among the polar bear mercenary companies, and it seems that a Leprechaun commander detonated a small nuclear device on the surface. Our repulsor shields confined it to a small square of terrain, however. Theta is ours."
Thlayli smiled. "Excellent work, Colonel Ahmadi. Tell Francois to establish the jamming system immediately. The Lunar Republic of Ireland has to stay in the dark about this battle."
"At once, commander."
The screen went black. Grinning with anticipation, Thlayli put on the uniform of the Supreme Chairman, an eclectic mix of battle fatigues and the court dress of a 16th century French musketeer. Walking down the bridge, a heavyset Lusitanian saluted.
"Your cruiser, sir?"
"Yes, and an assault team. The way is finally clear."
It was ironic, really. Chip's forces had no idea what N.A.O. was really up to. Odd, since it was the NAO, after all. Such carnage was so unnecessary, but they had refused to listen to reason, putting up their barrier shields like that. There was only one other option. As the cruiser's thrusters lifted it off the fueling station, it hovered forward out of a small, Grand Central-sized alcove into the shockingly massive docking chamber.
Penn Gwynn once remarked, "The N.A.O. are the scum of the multiverse. They use humans, after all! RECYCLED humans!"
But he hadn't realized their potential. As the more intelligent animal races of the multiverse were taken over by influential NESers, Thlayli, founder of the NAO, had looked elsewhere. There were dead NESes littering the multiverse...scores of them! All with billions, no, trillions of humans frozen in stasis. It was a simple matter to pluck a million off every NES Thlayli played; and augmented by mercenaries dissatisfied with life in the Alexandrine, Polarbearun, or Otter Empires, it had become a versatile, near-unbeatable force.
The location of the penguin citadel where the updates were forged was unknown. Perhaps those leprechauns knew...but they weren't in a talking mood, at the moment.
This had ruined NAO's earlier efforts to secure an update, since the perfect stealth of Iggy's penguin operations prevented any discovery. Not to mention, it was HIS universe.
But there was something he had forgotten. LINESII was a separate universe...but it was inevitably linked to LINES. And if it was linked to LINES, then there could be Hyperborean warp portals.
The green energy of the portal crackled into life. An otter technician gave a thumbs up (well, sort of) to the cruiser. The eight plasma cannons hummed with resonance as they powered up. With a flash of light, the sleek silver battle cruiser vanished through the portal, with a wave of sound and a snap of unreality.
As the rules of time and space were broken and remade, the guidance system on the bridge locked on the coordinates. Thlayli's eyes widened with surprise.
"The core of the planet, huh? Well that explains why we couldn't find it..."
Inside the penguin fortress, chaos ensued. Around seventeen thousand technicians typed rapidly into databanks, trying to keep the universe from collapsing in on itself while simultaneously doing Iggy's homework. Other penguins ran in random directions, or grabbed fish from a massive, ice-covered pool.
Suddenly, five penguins ran up to the console where Iggy was typing his update, screaming bloody murder. Random janitors and guards flew out of the way like bowling pins.
The lead penguin, wearing an absurdly small lab coat, collapsed at their feet. "They're here! They've found us!"
Iggy turned around, one eyebrow raised.
"Who's here?"
At that moment, the entire room rumbled, just one tiny bit. The chaos of the updating fortress grinded to a halt.
Then, a huge flash of blue-white light permeated the chamber, followed by a huge explosion as the reinforced-diamond-titanium rear retaining wall exploded, literally dissolved by a direct infusion of molten plasma. About ten thousand penguins were vaporized on impact. Cannons, lasers, and crossbows blazing, the NAO command cruiser barrelled into the room. A large data bank exploded and toppled over. Good thing that one was for show, anyway.
The ship landed roughly, and the main hatch opened with a hiss.
A long file of Frenchmen and Pandas exited, to form two ranks facing each other. They stood to attention, and saluted. Between them walked Thlayli, Supreme Chairman of N.A.O.
One of the penguins, wearing a red bandana that gave him a strong resemblance to Che Guevara, gasped. "Is that..."
Thlayli laughed. "Yes, it is. Hello Iggy. I'd like to tell you that we want an update. And we want it...NAO!"
