A Brief Interview With the Prime Minister
<Reporter> It's an honor to finally meet you, Prime Minister De Vries. I know you're very busy, but on behalf of the Brussels Times could you spare a few moments for public information?
<De Vries> Who is this?
<Reporter> I'm a reporter for the Brussels Times, Mr. De Vries.
<De Vries> Oh, that rag. Yeah, go ahead.
<Reporter> What can you tell us about your plans to visit The Ukraine in the upcoming year?
<De Vries> I can tell you that when I plan to do something I do it. You'll never find Christofoor De Vries shirking on plans. It's just not my style, because I'm a guy who sticks to his guns. And responsibilities. Guns, responsibilities, whatever.
<Reporter> What exactly do you hope to accomplish in The Ukraine?
<De Vries> Further the cause of capitalism and the Dutch way. Or the capitalist way. Frankly, it's all the same thing. You know history? Yeah, it's full of stuff about us. Stuff about us and capitalism, look, I'm a busy person with a college education and you're... Well, you work for the Brussels Times. Anyway.
<Reporter> Can you say anything about recent events in Denmark and Germany?
<De Vries> Why yes, actually, I can. I'm sure you're aware of what I've done there, or else you wouldn't be asking me. Or maybe you would, I mean you guys don't really get to the stories first, do you? Hahahaha, but seriously, no. I made peace there, peace through mediation. Peace in our time, and stuff like that. You know what that makes me? No, you don't. Well that's okay, I'll enlighten you. It makes me a
peacemaker. I am a peacemaker.
I. Make. Peace. I am a ************ING PEACEMAKER.
<Reporter> Thank you, Prime Minister. Can you make any comment on recent events in the Americas?
<De Vries> Well, frankly, yes. Okay, look, I don't claim to understand those people across the ocean. I mean, seriously, this is some screwed up stuff. So far as I can tell there's this country Texas, are you following me? Like, their economy is based off herding cattle and selling the milk and the meat. Let's call them Little Uzbekistan. Okay, so Little Uzbekistan starts a war and loses it, so far as you can tell. I mean, like I said, screwed up stuff over here. Okay, so, Little Uzbekistan has a neighbor. They're the... Confederacy or something-or-other. So Little Uzbekistan offers to become a protectorate of their larger neighbor? I dunno, you can't make this stuff up.
<Reporter> Can you comment on the Confederate president's plans for the Caribbean?
<De Vries> Well, I mean, screwed up place. I guess I have to give this Confederate guy some credit, because when you functionally annex a country that makes its living off of cattle you have to wade through more bullcrap than I have to wade through papers on an average day at work. That isn't to disparage Her Majesty's great government, of course. Look, we're really well off. We could be
them. Anyway, good luck to Mr. Forrest. His shoes must smell awful. Also, his hair's perfect for living with a bunch of cows. I'd like to meet his tailor.
<Reporter> Thank you, Prime Minister. One last question, if there was anything you could show to the people of The Ukraine, what would it be?
<De Vries> I'd like to make a donation to the physical health of Ukrainian women everywhere. You'll thank me later when your super-children beat the invading communist armies in between their massive building-sized fists.
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No hard feelings, Dreadnought

. I enjoyed your story and the map!
@TLK, orders sent