Marriage

[Perfection]

You state you primary reason to get married is money. How shallow is that!

Not shallow at all! TLC understands that the important thing is having a stable trusting relationship, not a ceremony or legal document. However, he does understand the financial and legal value of getting married.

If you have ever truely been in love then you would know that a piece of paper, or a wedding ceremony, is not worth a piece of crap. At the end of the day, love is what matters.

Actually, it's worth a wide variety of legal and financial rights.

 

[Narz]

None of the above. The reason I say that is love isnt something that most people really understand. Thats why so many get divorced.

How can you say what people don't understand? Even an animal can understand love, I think the problem is not lack of understanding but that many people are afraid to give love (fearing it won't be returned).

I voted love, it was easy out of the four options (I expected ten or more).

 

[GenMarshall]

How can you say what people don't understand? Even an animal can understand love,

Sorry, animals cant reason like humans can .

I think the problem is not lack of understanding but that many people are afraid to give love

True, many people have been hurt by giving love when its not returned back.

 

[The Last Conformist]

You state you primary reason to get married is money. How shallow is that!
If you have ever truely been in love then you would know that a piece of paper, or a wedding ceremony, is not worth a piece of crap. At the end of the day, love is what matters.

Well, Perf summed it up nicely for me.

 

[Scratcher]

@ Perfection (edit, and now TLC)

The original question was " The number 1 factor in marriage should ideally be?"

The last conformist clearly stated money. The other options covered, loving stable relationship. Please do not try to defend him, I am sure he is capable of arguing his own corner.

I have also clearly stated in my posts the financial benifits of being married. However, it is shallow to marry if these are your primary reasons for marriage.

 

[Tycoon101]

Tradition tradition tradition. Don't care about money, I don't care about love, and I believe that tradition stands above religeon.

 

[GenMarshall]

Tradition tradition tradition. Don't care about money, I don't care about love, and I believe that tradition stands above religeon.

Tradition is my second most important choice for marriage.

 

[Perfection]

The last conformist clearly stated money. The other options covered, loving stable relationship. Please do not try to defend him, I am sure he is capable of arguing his own corner.

Nah, I could use the postcount.

I have also clearly stated in my posts the financial benifits of being married. However, it is shallow to marry if these are your primary reasons for marriage.

Well really, the loving stable relationship is more of a prerequisite than a reason. You have the loving stable relationship, you note that if you get married you get a variety of benefits. So you get married.

 

[Scratcher]

@ Perfection, put you money where your mouth is!

In your opinion what is " your number 1 factor in marriage should ideally be"?

...and your postcount means jack to me

 

[CaptainF]

Society has cheapened marriage.

All these divorces, and all of these shallow hookups have sort of robbed marriage of its credentials.

More than any "Gay Agenda" ever could.

 

[Perfection]

In your opinion what is " your number 1 factor in marriage should ideally be"?

The result of the marriage being in the better interest of me personally than the result of no marriage.

...and your postcount means jack to me

Doesn't matter, it means something to me, therefore I increase it.

 

[Sidhe]

Society has cheapened marriage.

All these divorces, and all of these shallow hookups have sort of robbed marriage of its credentials.

More than any "Gay Agenda" ever could.

This gay agenda is it attributable to a break off wing of the Illuminata, sorry but I always find that term a bit odd

I agree about marriage being devalued, but it is at least in my country, a Christian value system and so it's tennants should be respected, that's why civil marriages are such a great compromise, no one gets hurt and everyone get's a slice of the pie. I'm going to break off now before I? get accused of being a socialist.

 

[Birdjaguar]

I have also clearly stated in my posts the financial benifits of being married. However, it is shallow to marry if these are your primary reasons for marriage.

Money is a great reason to get married as long as you understand that is the reason and don't have any illusions that you did it for some other reason.

 

[Scratcher]

The result of the marriage being in the better interest of me personally than the result of no marriage.

Not to confuse our average reader, you mean money.

Again, good luck to you, i hope you find the girl of your dream$

...and regarding your post count...well done I am sure your wife would be proud

 

[The Last Conformist]

@ Perfection (edit, and now TLC)

The original question was " The number 1 factor in marriage should ideally be?"

The last conformist clearly stated money. The other options covered, loving stable relationship.

That "loving stable relationship" is given as an option doesn't mean it can be a factor in marriage. As far as I'm concerned, it can't.

 

[Shadylookin]

marriage should be for money/legal benfits. if you want to show your love to a girl try giving her some flowers first.

 

[Low Tier Hero]

I'd have to say none of the above.
Reasons being?

Love

Love doesent work because love is inherently a fluxuating kind of thing. They way you love someone in romantic love will go away, though in any kind of relationship it re-sparks over time. I've noticed in the best marriages, the partners acquiesce (conciously or not) that they are good friends, or people who work well together with reccurring bouts of romantic love. Love is fickle, and taken into account can mean a better marriage (or any kind of social dynamic really).

Religion

Being atheist, though raised catholic and studied in religous matters, I don't really see the point here. Sociologically speaking, its a matter of "we share the same beliefs, therefore we gain comfort from those communities of beliefs" and nothing more than that. If you within that belief, youll attribute divine sanction, or what have you, then of course it would be more important to you. But it cannot stand alone.

Tradition

Pretty much the same as Religion, sans the spiritual conotations. Cannot stand on its own, and on its own might do more harm than good.

Money

Pragmatism embodied, as a qualifer with the other 1(or 2 or 3 depending), it can make a difference dependent on the views of money each partner shares. Money does lead to comfort which leads to more time to get to know one another (which may be good or bad). This one is kind of a wild card, because you never know which way it will go.

All this being said, I believe binding monogamous relationships to be constucts of fear, fear of being alone, fear of losing someone.. and on that note, i find them to not be an appealing choice in general for the level headed pragmatist.

 

[King Flevance]

Just wanted to throw in that trust should be on the list, to make things more interesting. As LTH points out above me in his post, love means different things to different people. Also you can love someone but not trust them. "Love", even though that is what I picked because of the options, is way to encompassing. Also, I would hope the obvious answer considering the choices provided.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Love

Love doesent work because love is inherently a fluxuating kind of thing. They way you love someone in romantic love will go away, though in any kind of relationship it re-sparks over time. I've noticed in the best marriages, the partners acquiesce (conciously or not) that they are good friends, or people who work well together with reccurring bouts of romantic love. Love is fickle, and taken into account can mean a better marriage (or any kind of social dynamic really).

Love is constant and unchanging, contageous and ever giving. It is people that are fickle and changeable in what they want for gratification.

All this being said, I believe binding monogamous relationships to be constucts of fear, fear of being alone, fear of losing someone.. and on that note, i find them to not be an appealing choice in general for the level headed pragmatist.

Hmm...you must be young and still of the mind that having sex is the best part of any relationship.

 

[MobBoss]

How can you say what people don't understand? Even an animal can understand love,

Once again you attribute human emotions to animals and in error I do believe.

I think the problem is not lack of understanding but that many people are afraid to give love (fearing it won't be returned).

No, people are not afraid to give love....but I will go as far as people are afraid to commit to love to the extent of what it takes to make a good marriage.

Marriage takes a lot of work. A lot of trust and compromise and self-sacrifice. Love isnt lust or desire....its more than that. Those that base their marriage on physical love/lust/desire are doomed to fail. Those that base their relationship on friendship and trust and giving will make it.