Do you have children?
- Thread starter Fat Bastard
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Farm Boy
they're all reactions
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None of that can be the prerequisite for you to want to play the game. We cannot make a plan greater than Ozymandeus.
But yes, those all make the game more fun!
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
You can also sire them in the next decade if you wish.
The only limit will be you and your beliefs.
Whatever you do, choose what you do and and want what you choose.
And, kids can beget grandkids!!
stfoskey12
Emperor of Foskania
I do not have kids. I would like kids someday, but first I need to find a partner. And it's hard to find the right person, so who knows what will happen. Also, I would want to be more financially stable and enjoy several years with my partner before becoming a father, so I don't want kids for at least another five years. Then I'll be early 30s, which isn't too old yet.
Having kids just for the sake of some day having grandchildren is warped. At least in the here-and-now modern era.
One of the arguments I had with my mother was over my reaching the age of almost-40 and not marrying and having kids. She was upset and disappointed about that, not because she thought I should have a husband and children and therefore a loving family of my own but for a different reason.
She outright stated: "I intend to be a grandmother." Years earlier she was pushing this, making remarks at my cousin's wedding (wanting her to throw the bouquet so I'd catch it). The guy I was seeing back then... yikes. We ran into each other downtown on separate errands, decided to meander around together for a bit, and then ran into my mother. That was the first time they'd met, and when I introduced them, my mother got this insanely gleeful, HUGE grin on her face and said how pleased she was to meet him: "I've heard a lot about you!" If she could have arranged a minister and ring at that moment, we'd have been married on the spot if she'd had her way.
It was surreal and embarrassing. Afterward, I said, "So what do you think of my mother?" He said something polite, but in a tone that told me he was trying not to insult me, and said, "What do you REALLY think? It's okay to say." So he sighed in relief and told me what he really thought. We concluded that she was really pushing it and we'd make our own decisions, thankyouverymuch.
The argument I mentioned that happened later, when she said she intended to be a grandmother, came out of the blue. It was after my long hospital stay in 2001 when I'd had multiple diagnoses and gone through surgery and testing for various stuff and each day was me trying to cope, look after the cats (I had 3 at the time - Maggie, Lightning, and Gussy), and I'd already made my decision over 15 years previously that kids were not something I wanted.
She kept pushing. I said, "I'm not seeing anyone right now." She said, "What about _____? You get along, you've known him a long time" (true; we met in high school, in 1980 and don't think our friends in the SCA didn't do matchmaking attempts). I explained that he was living in another city now and while we were still friends, it would never be more than that.
So then she started asking if I knew any other guys. I got the impression that any guy would do - just grab someone off the street, get pregnant, and present my mother with a grandchild. Marriage first? Completely optional.
I reminded her that I was nearly 40. She said, "That's not too old". I said that given my medical issues, it most definitely was.
And then finally I just picked up Gussy (medium-grey tuxedo cat I tamed and adopted in 1993 when he turned up from nowhere in the back yard as a tiny kitten that was really not quite old enough to be away from his mother, who we never found) and held him up in front of her. I said, "Gussy considers me his mother. He is the only grandchild you will ever have."
My mother was never a cat person, and her body language made that very clear; she scared him with her tone of voice and abrupt motions. But at least she finally shut up about it. The following May she wished me Happy Mother's Day and decided to consider her stepdaughter's kid as her grandchild. Fine by me, as I never considered anyone from her second marriage to be kin to me.
Long story short (too late! /Clue movie) - nobody owes their parents grandchildren. What my mother never realized was that even if I had opted for kids, I would never have left her alone with them. She was a physically and emotionally abusive person, and while someone speculated to me that she saw a grandchild as a chance to "get it right this time," I wasn't going to provide that chance.
I do sometimes wonder if my dad would have enjoyed being a grandfather, though. I think he probably would have, and he'd have been good at it.
PPQ_Purple
Purple Cube (retired)
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Born or adopted is not even a question. I am a firm believer in ones own blood or nothing.
Ziggy Stardust
Absolutely Sane
No kids. I don't want to be a parent, and I don't think I'd be a good one.
Besides, living without kids is great.
Besides, living without kids is great.
That wasn't my point at all, but if that's what you want to take away from it, you do you.
PPQ_Purple
Purple Cube (retired)
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Well, I agree with the rest so there was no point arguing.
My entire point is that the analytical side of parenting just does not make sense. It's just a disastrously ruinous project that has infinite costs, infinite sacrifice and infinite responsibility with minimal chances of success and an ill defined objective to begin with. Even if the personal and emotional gains are as fantastically positive as the analytical overview is negative. And that this it is likely that people who prefer strategy games are of the analytical vs emotional persuasion.
sophie
Break My Heart
*your subjective analysis of parenting
This reminds me of a Star Trek fanfic I read some years ago, about the early years of Sarek and Amanda's marriage, when Spock was a young child. Sarek had certain expectations of Spock, and tried to hold him to Vulcan standards.
It didn't work during Spock's younger years, because A. He was also human, and Amanda insisted that he be allowed to experience some of the same things that human children experienced; and B. According to this story, Vulcan children of that age are very close to their parents in order to help develop their telepathic abilities.
For Spock, however, there was a C. and that was just the fact that he was so close to his mother that he worried about her when she was gone - what if she never came back?
So when Amanda was invited to attend a linguistics conference on another planet, Spock was terrified that she either wouldn't come back, or that she would be unable to come back because she would get lost (at the equivalent-to-human age of about 4 or 5, Spock was beginning to absorb the Vulcan attitude that humans weren't as intelligent as Vulcans).
Therefore, Spock decided to make sure Amanda had everything she could possibly need, in order to know where home was...
Including buying her a t-shirt showing Vulcan's place in the Milky Way, with an arrow pointing to it and the words "You are here." In other words, a map to home. Her suitcase was full, so he dumped out a couple of things and put the t-shirt in there instead.
When Amanda got to the conference, she discovered that she had no pajamas, but she did have a t-shirt showing her where home was.
Thus was Spock's first application of logic to emotion, influenced by both his parents.
banzay13
King
I'm 42, I have two girls and my oldest is 19 and my youngest is 14. And, despite the fact that when I was young it was hard to support my children (finances), but now, I am still young enough, financially stable, and in a few years the children will be on their feet. And there are many years of freedom ahead)))) You should not be afraid of the difficulties of parenthood
Josu
Emperor
I have adopted from other species and from our specie
Josu
Emperor
As adopting father, my recomendation is DO NOT adopt alone as single adult. May work? Indeed, but adoption is tough, for parents and children, you as adult, will need a partners help.
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Plains-Cow
Best Resource; Always Wins
If you have children, you need to worry about them usurping your throne once you start getting older and if they've learned too much from you.
If you don't have children, you need to worry about your generals and relatives usurping your throne as they sense the incoming power vacuum upon your aging.
Decisions, decisions...
If you don't have children, you need to worry about your generals and relatives usurping your throne as they sense the incoming power vacuum upon your aging.
Decisions, decisions...
