1 day, 13 hours ago:
- Following new legislation in Civ Players, Civ Players has designated Civ Players City as its capital city.
- Following new legislation in Civ Players, all guns must be registered.
New issue: Scandal Rocks Civ Players's Government!
A tabloid magazine, The National Incriminator, has revealed the sordid details of an affair between one of your top advisors, Robert Lotsalovin, and his secretary.
1/ "They found out I did WHAT?!" Advisor Lotsalovin says in his morning meeting in your office. "This just can't happen! How can government officials do their jobs properly if we have to work under the constant scrutiny of these idiotic supermarket tabloids? I say tabloid newspapers must be banned, and we must not allow newspapers to speak ill of our government officials... for the good of Civ Players, of course..."
2/ "Unbelievable!" says Reverend Tobias Hendrikson of the local Catholic church. "Our government officials must be held to a higher standard than this! Mr. Lotsalovin must be removed from office and jailed. We cannot allow such disgusting corruption within the halls of justice!"
3/ "Whoa, whoa, hey, now..." argues Senator Alexei Johnson. "What happened to Mr. Lotsalovin is no different than affairs that happen all over Civ Players every day! Before you know it, they'll be after YOUR sexual history! I think what we need to do is take the public attention off of it somehow, perhaps by... oh, I don't know... giving them a tax cut! That'll divert their attention from this momentary distraction just long enough for Mr. Lotsalovin's divorce process to end!"
We can also change capital city name, so I want to hear your proposals...
17 hours ago:
- Following new legislation in Civ Players, the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress.
- Following new legislation in Civ Players, the government seizes all major gold finds.
New issue: Waste Going To Waste, Says Industry Lobby
Civ Players's industries have an ever-growing amount of toxic wastes to dispose of, and doing so in safe ways is becoming prohibitively expensive, leading a group of lobbyists to try and pressure the government into changing existing disposal laws.
1/ "These waste dumping laws are destroying our businesses!" rants Violet Spirit, head of the Civ Players Bigger Business Bureau. "We need cheaper ways to eliminate industrial by-products, which really aren't as harmful as people think, such as pouring them into rivers or deep ocean ravines where they're harmless to us. Let's remember that the products we manufacture make your life easier and more fun!"
2/ "A better way to deal with this problem is to convince the public it isn't a problem at all," whispers Billy Thiesen, head of Scamcorp, an industrial think tank. "Fudge some research, declare that the chemical by-products from industrial processing and production actually make one's teeth and bones healthier. Then, sell them to municipalities to add to their drinking water! Yes! This will not only save us the trouble of disposing of the waste correctly, we'll be able to sell it at a profit! I can taste the money already!"
3/ "These corrupt, money-hungry corporations are only looking out for themselves and their bottom line!" says Faith Fellow, an environmentalist from northern Civ Players. "The government needs to enact stricter laws for how these companies can dump their waste safely, and when they poison Civ Players's people and environment, the government needs the authority and manpower to enforce harsh penalties! These companies make their messes, they should pay to clean them up!"
3/ "These corrupt, money-hungry corporations are only looking out for themselves and their bottom line!" says Faith Fellow, an environmentalist from northern Civ Players. "The government needs to enact stricter laws for how these companies can dump their waste safely, and when they poison Civ Players's people and environment, the government needs the authority and manpower to enforce harsh penalties! These companies make their messes, they should pay to clean them up!"
18 hours ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, newspapers may not print any negative stories about the government.
New issue: Tourists On Death Row
A group of holidaymakers from Civ Players have been arrested while visiting the scenic, yet corrupt and totalitarian, nation of Maxtopia on charges of drug trafficking - an offence which carries the maximum sentence of the death penalty. The story has provoked outrage from citizens, many believing the government should intervene to bring the tourists back home.
1/ "Everyone knows what barbarians those Maxtopians are!" says Lars Falopian, parent to one of the arrestees. "They've not even allowed my son and his friends access to lawyers! That government is as corrupt as they are cruel, my boy would never have anything to do with drugs! You need to do something to save them, I'm begging you! I'm sure the Maxtopian officials will back down if you threaten trade sanctions or something. Right?"
2/ "You've got to see it from the other side," argues May Wu, a customs official. "While it's unfortunate that the sentence is so stiff, they really shouldn't have been smuggling drugs. I'm sure we wouldn't be happy if Maxtopians came over here with banned goods. I just can't sympathise: they were greedy, they broke the law, they got caught. What makes them so special that they should be bailed out? At the taxpayers' expense I might add. Let them be - it'll show we respect the judicial rights of other countries."
3/ "I agree," chimes in Chastity Dredd, an anti-drug campaigner, waving a banner which reads 'Don't Be a Fool, Drugs Aren't Cool'. "Did you ever stop to think that our foreign neighbours might have the right idea? A zero-tolerance attitude to the drugs issue is what this country needs! Death to the dealers!"
4/ "You people are so quick to lay the finger of blame," says Melbourne Mombota, an ambassador at Civ Players's embassy in Maxtopia. "My motto has always been 'If you want something, give something away'. It is the government's duty to protect its citizens from harm! We don't want to cause too much international friction by making a mockery of their laws so we've got to settle things more diplomatically: they scratch our backs now and we'll scratch theirs later."
5/ "That's what they want! Leverage!" hollers Anne-Marie Barry, your Minister of Defence, storming into your office. "Advances in our markets, political favours - they'll do anything to undermine us! They've always hated us, those rats! If you ask me, this brouhaha isn't about drugs - it's a spit in our eye, that's what it is! What kind of people execute kids for having a few ounces on them? We ought to give them a good bombing, then they'll know how a proper country behaves!"
5/ "That's what they want! Leverage!" hollers Anne-Marie Barry, your Minister of Defence, storming into your office. "Advances in our markets, political favours - they'll do anything to undermine us! They've always hated us, those rats! If you ask me, this brouhaha isn't about drugs - it's a spit in our eye, that's what it is! What kind of people execute kids for having a few ounces on them? We ought to give them a good bombing, then they'll know how a proper country behaves!"
2 days, 1 hour ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste.
New issue: Civ Players Looks to the Stars
The recent popularity of a science-fiction TV show has prompted calls for Civ Players to develop its own space program.
1/ "Don't tell me space colonies wouldn't be cool," says excited fifth-grade teacher Gregory Trax, still wearing big Spock ears from his last convention. "Think of how they would galvanize the national population! And there would also be some kind of scientific benefit, probably."
2/ "The project certainly is feasible, but very expensive," says Civ Players Space Agency Head Alexei McGuffin. "We could make it less of a burden on the taxpayers if we sought funding from private industry -- advertisements on the side of our rockets, selling contracts to the Arms Manufacturing industry, that kind of thing."
3/ "If God had meant Man to fly, he would have given us solid rocket boosters instead of legs," says religious type Akira Barry. "We should not be looking to the stars, but rather inside our own hearts. That's why we should abandon this so-called space program, and instead make the teaching of religion mandatory in all schools."
2/ "The project certainly is feasible, but very expensive," says Civ Players Space Agency Head Alexei McGuffin. "We could make it less of a burden on the taxpayers if we sought funding from private industry -- advertisements on the side of our rockets, selling contracts to the Arms Manufacturing industry, that kind of thing."
4 days ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, the government is well known for declaring war on other countries for suspected slights...
New urgent issue: Going Postal
It has come to your attention that there is some serious debate over whether Civ Players's postal service should be either privatised or nationalised.
1/ "The postal system ought to be privatised," says Konrad Johnson, Director of PostHaste, a small package delivery company. "All the government is doing is putting the tax Golds of hard-working citizens into an outmoded and wasteful system. Private businesses can offer a much more efficient system with less junk mail. A little more expense on stamps is worth that right?"
2/ "Uh huh? And what about those in rural or remote areas?" asks Tobias Bush, the CEO of Civ Players Mail, the government-owned postal service. "If you privatise this business then they'll get marginalised and ignored. With a nationalised service everyone can use the system and cheaply too. We provide a good service for our customers and have been doing so for a very long time! The postal service should be nationalised and all competition banned!"
3/ "There's plenty of room for compromise," says Violet King, a stamp collector. "How about we just privatise the mail system and allow other competitors to move in but continue with government funding to Civ Players Mail? That way everyone can get their post and the companies can have their own slice of the pie. It'll require an increase in tax to cope with losses to competition but not too much. I think. To be frank, I just want more stamps."
2/ "Uh huh? And what about those in rural or remote areas?" asks Tobias Bush, the CEO of Civ Players Mail, the government-owned postal service. "If you privatise this business then they'll get marginalised and ignored. With a nationalised service everyone can use the system and cheaply too. We provide a good service for our customers and have been doing so for a very long time! The postal service should be nationalised and all competition banned!"
4 days ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Pepsi and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed. The average income tax rate is 51%
New very urgent issue:
Blood Banks Running Dry
A violent and rather messy stampede of OH Dears during a parade in your honour has brought widespread media attention to the shortage of blood, plasma and platelet donors in Civ Players.
1/ "Blood donation should be compulsory!" argues Faith Mistletoe, a spokesperson for the Civ Players Blood Donors' Association. "We can't expect citizens to come flocking to donate blood just out of the goodness of their hearts, so the government should take the matter into its own hands. If we could maybe require healthy citizens to... let's say... donate blood every three months, we wouldn't have such a problem with shortages. It'll require more funding to organise and carry out, yes, but your people are worth it, aren't they?"
2/ "Don't listen to that devil worshipper!" preaches Johann du Pont, a Jehovah's Witness. "It isn't up to us to decide what should be done, it is God, and only God, who decides what someone should do with their blood. I'd rather die clean and go to Heaven, thank you very much! We must heed this Gospel and ban blood donations now! Of course some people will die, but they will be rewarded in the afterlife for obeying His word."
3/ "You're kidding, right?" burbles anaemic patient Freddy Thiesen from a hospital bed. "I'm not going to let some closed-minded priest tell me what I can and can't do with my blood! But I don't think people should be forced to give blood; they just need incentive, that's all. Like money. Trust me, any kind of 'Golds For Blood' scheme will have them almost begging to donate. It's the only humane way to ensure that people like me are getting the care we need. If you're worried about funding just get it from those religious nuts... they're not helping anyone with it."
4/ "I have an even better idea," says Abraham Trax, a prison officer. "How about we force every healthy prisoner to donate blood? It's about time they gave back to society what they've taken away in the first place. If we do this we won't have to beg the law-abiding citizens of Civ Players to take time out of their day to give blood. It's not like these thugs are really doing anything for us, so missing a pint or three won't matter, am I right?"
4/ "I have an even better idea," says Abraham Trax, a prison officer. "How about we force every healthy prisoner to donate blood? It's about time they gave back to society what they've taken away in the first place. If we do this we won't have to beg the law-abiding citizens of Civ Players to take time out of their day to give blood. It's not like these thugs are really doing anything for us, so missing a pint or three won't matter, am I right?"
15 hours ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, postmen have been arrested in job lots for selling junk mail as home insulation. The average income tax rate is 51%
Put The "Board" Back In Board Of Education
The Civ Players Teachers' Union, complaining of a steady increase in student disciplinary problems, wants to be able to use corporal punishment to correct misbehavior.
1/ "Clearly, parents aren't teaching manners at home," says Freddy Mistletoe, the union president. "All we want is to be able to take a paddle to their backsides when there are problems. It's not like we want to throw the kids in jail."
2/ "Keep your hands off my kids!" shouts Melbourne Hanover, while protesting outside of union headquarters. "If there's a problem, it's with the teachers not having the skills to do their jobs. They should be tested for qualifications!"
3/ "Corporal punishment would only treat a symptom of the bigger problem: our education system is in need of an overhaul," says Randy Utopia, Civ Players's education minister. "We need smaller class sizes, more teachers, better buildings, and better pay. It'll cost, but it'll pay off in the long run."
4/ "Why don't we just abolish the schools and home-school the kids?" asks Violet Wall, education coordinator for the Civ Players First Omnimenical Church. "That way parents can stress the values they want their kids to have and give them the attention they need."
3/ "Corporal punishment would only treat a symptom of the bigger problem: our education system is in need of an overhaul," says Randy Utopia, Civ Players's education minister. "We need smaller class sizes, more teachers, better buildings, and better pay. It'll cost, but it'll pay off in the long run."
If there's still an advisor position open, I can volunteer.
I have several nations... The Cofficon Union is a nation I created years ago (2002, 2003) when I first joined NS. It started out as a proto-fascist state run by enlightened autocrat and spun off the nation I created for a roleplaying game back in the day, but it's since degenerated into a third-world country. I'm trying to get it back on its feet. ("A la gloria!" is the national motto, and the sign-off for the government news agency, 'Cofficon Union Press'. I used to have a header for it. )
Spoiler:
The Holy Republic of Cofficon Union is a massive, devout nation, ruled by El Cid with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space. Its hard-nosed, cynical population of 2.206 billion are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Social Welfare. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cofficon Union City. The average income tax rate is 78%, and even higher for the wealthy. A robust private sector is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, followed by Uranium Mining and Basket Weaving.
The government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, the government is phasing in welfare programmes to tackle poverty, scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, and mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cofficon Union's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is Divine Union, and its currency is the lek.
The Community of Waegerstadt ("Her Way is Best") is my favorite to play, as it's based off of a Sims 2 neighborhood story that went odd. It's ruled by an insane queen who...doesn't exactly govern in a predictable way. In Sims 2, she had all the males locked up into barracks and let out only for breeding purposes. I think nudity may be mandated..
Spoiler:
The Community of Waegerstadt is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Queen Amalia with an iron fist, and notable for its national health service. Its hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.463 billion are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Waegerstadt Citadel. The average income tax rate is 57%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.
Rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Waegerstadt's national animal is the swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is Amalian Devotion, and its currency is the amal.
The Aurelian Order is my attempt to create a nation ruled by philosopher kings, though I'm not sure yet how much democracy the process entails. ("Live According to Nature")
Spoiler:
The Dominion of The Aurelian Order is a massive, safe nation, ruled by an order of philosopher-kings with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants. Its compassionate population of 1.81 billion are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Welfare, and Social Equality. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aurelius. The average income tax rate is 81%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.
The government tries to improve relations with hostile countries by sending gift baskets, refugees from other nations are flocking to The Aurelian Order's border, the government is notorious for leaving citizens with almost nothing from their inheritance, and an order of philosopher-kings has just been declared ruler of The Aurelian Order in an international press conference. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Aurelian Order's national animal is the owl, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the stoa.
And finally, there's Wolf-Clan, which is my attempt at an anarchist commune. I don't think anarchist communities are possible on Nation-States. Usually the available options are very...activist, interventionist, and I try to make decisions like I'm a body of people. ("No Gods, No Masters -- Every Man a King")
Spoiler:
The Free Land of Wolf-Clan is a huge, socially progressive nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 421 million are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whoever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.
The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass -- juggles the competing demands of Social Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 44%, but much higher for the wealthy. A robust private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Automobile Manufacturing and Pizza Delivery.
The people elect the Supreme Court justices directly, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid, and billions of gold pieces are being poured into a space program. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wolf-Clan's national animal is the wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the gold piece.
That bit about the space program was an unnoticed mistake, I think.
7 days ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, jails have become colloquially known as 'vampire houses'.
Where There's A Will There's A Tax
After the vast fortunes of a recently deceased oil tycoon in Civ Players were left to a small cactus plant, citizens nationwide have been asking the same question: should the inheritance tax laws be changed?
1/ "Every time I see a stupid rich kid having an easy ride of life with money they did nothing to deserve, I go into a jealous rage and start punching walls," says economically disadvantaged individual Alexei Broadside. "Abolish inheritance entirely! If the government takes the inheritance then we can spend all that cash on things that make ordinary people's lives better, like education, social welfare, and attack helicopters."
2/ "This is a disgusting breach of my human rights," says Naki King, heir to an international widget empire. "Just think of all the poor families who have spent their lives scrimping and saving with the dream of passing on a modest luxury yacht to ensure the security of their children's children. All that sacrifice, all that toil, all those long nights working their fingers to the bone setting up offshore accounts - it brings a tear to my eye. Inheritance tax has got to go!"
3/ "Surely we can arrange some sort of compromise here," says comfortable knitwear fan Samuel Jones. "Yes, it's true that some people exploit the system - but a lot of people rely on inheritance for their basic support! Why don't we just set a sensible ceiling on how much you can inherit? That way you get to keep the family farm, but not the five mansions and the oil refinery."
Welcome Smellincoffee, you can join us, sure and take one possition other than GamezRule (he is transport I think) as other advisors went idle.
3/ "Surely we can arrange some sort of compromise here," says comfortable knitwear fan Samuel Jones. "Yes, it's true that some people exploit the system - but a lot of people rely on inheritance for their basic support! Why don't we just set a sensible ceiling on how much you can inherit? That way you get to keep the family farm, but not the five mansions and the oil refinery."
3/ "Surely we can arrange some sort of compromise here," says comfortable knitwear fan Samuel Jones. "Yes, it's true that some people exploit the system - but a lot of people rely on inheritance for their basic support! Why don't we just set a sensible ceiling on how much you can inherit? That way you get to keep the family farm, but not the five mansions and the oil refinery."
The average income tax rate is 55%, and even higher for the wealthy.
9 days ago: Following new legislation in Civ Players, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system.
New issue: Keep The Greenbelt Green, Say Protesters
A group of environmentalists are protesting against plans to expand urban and suburban developments into greenbelts, the designated countryside between settlements.
1/ "Do we really have to listen to these nutcases?" asks real estate developer, Jonathon Cogswell. "The fact of the matter is that nature is BORING. Give us permission to build on the greenbelt and you'll have pink hotels, boutiques, and swinging hot spots that'll be the envy of the region and draw tourists from all around! We can always transplant a few trees and put them in a tree museum to keep the tree-huggers happy. Civ Players stands to make a lot of money from this! Think about it for a moment!"
2/ "I agree with my colleague here, but he doesn't go far enough," says Gregory Thiesen, a city planner. "These protestors are standing in the path of progress. It slows the growth of our economy and harms my portfolio - er - the future of our nation, I mean. It's unpatriotic and we should increase police funding to deal with these troublemakers. Then we wouldn't have to worry about greenbelts or any other nonsense about keeping the 'environment' safe. Think about it for a moment!"
3/ "I can't believe what I'm hearing!" exclaims environmental activist Miranda Trax. "Tree museums? Police funding? Don't it always seem to be the case that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? We're talking about natural treasures and you're talking about destroying them. Is there anything that you can build that can really be better than nature? We should put a stop to all encroachment into natural areas. Think about it for a moment!"
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I'm trying to get it back on its feet. ("A la gloria!" is the national motto, and the sign-off for the government news agency, 'Cofficon Union Press'. I used to have a header for it. 
)
