Diffinitely not schizophrenia, trust me. I'm glad you have benign intentions. I'm very on-guard lately though, because there are alot of people who aren't nearly as nice as you are varwnos.
I'm only 21, I've reached where I am now after a long, emotion-filled journey. When I was 13 or so, I had serious doubts that there was a God, much less an all-loving compassionate creator of the universe. I was terrified of death. When I was 15, I went to a Christian Convention event for youth called "Acquire the Fire", where I had a very emotional expierence, and for the first time in my life, I seriously preyed and called out to God. A few days later, I had alot on my mind one night, and I couldn't sleep. I was thinking to myself about what happened and for some reason, I got into a conversation with myself, but unlike usual, the one arguement wasn't me, because it forced me to consider things I never had, and reveiled things about me that I never knew, but I knew they were true. I said "I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of life"(Religious-ness), and the voice(which I knew at that moment wasn't me at all, but something I read about in the Bible called the Holy Sprit) said "Whenever your ready". At that same moment, I could feel a powerful pressence in the room. I can't explain it totally, but it felt like peace itself. I felt like a new person afterwards. Alot of my pre-conceptions, beliefs, attitudes and even thoughts were reveiled to be wrong.
I regret it, but I haven't gone to church in months. But its more important to LIVE Church everyday, rather than once a week.