Next War PBEM

[Nighthawk419]

Norm the robot takes the podium for an announcement to the world.

"The Mech-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach *kick* -achaniacal Infantry known as "Peace Pipe" has been removed from Southern Lands with zero losses. My personal position has been reinforced under the guidance of Jeeves. T-G-L's location is known. Asian chances of victory reduced to 10.4%. My rounding has been reduced by the Lady to only 1 decimal point. Chance of nuclear detonation within 3 years increased to 45.6% on Indian sub-continent. Scramble the Mech-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach-ach *KICK*-achaniacial Infantry. The Lady wishes to end the war and will accept peace with the gift of Calcutta for wasting our time."

Norm leaves the podium. Channel changed over to Jesus II, now rocking gangsta motif in an alleyway.

Jesus II: "Hey man what's happenin, yo? Get these slanty eyed cracka's out of our hood, yo, before we drop DA BOMB on yo ass. Cracka ass foo! You ain't want none of this Lady's piece, she knows how to take care of business, yo, damn yo, like fo shizzle!"

Feed cuts out.

(gps)

 

[Nighthawk419]

Out of game:

Knoedel I see why PBEM tracker isnt working for you - you need to use the underscore "_" for spaces when typing the in-game names.

 

[Imperator Knoedel]

Out of game:

Knoedel I see why PBEM tracker isnt working for you - you need to use the underscore "_" for spaces when typing the in-game names.

Fixed it, when my next turn gets around I´ll check if it works now.

 

[Eclipse4449]

Sent to Imp. Knoedel

 

[Nighthawk419]

dont have time to type anything up tonight, but gps

 

[Eclipse4449]

Sent to Imp. Knoedel

 

[Imperator Knoedel]

Hello World! It´s time for one of His Excellency´s excellent pop-quizes!

Who is the handsome man that lied about keeping the peace with The Lady while in fact preparing to backstab her all the time?

Can anyone guess it? Here´s a hint: His troops are now between Jerusalem and Baghdad where they pillage everything in sight. Our price for today is an autographed photo of His Excellency, so call while you still can!

 

[Nighthawk419]

Hello World! It´s time for one of His Excellency´s excellent pop-quizes!

Who is the handsome man that lied about keeping the peace with The Lady while in fact preparing to backstab her all the time?

Can anyone guess it? Here´s a hint: His troops are now between Jerusalem and Baghdad where they pillage everything in sight. Our price for today is an autographed photo of His Excellency, so call while you still can!

Oh no please stop, I'm so scared!!! I can NOT believe it! I just didn't see this coming from a mile away! How could it be?????

(to clarify, yes, that is sarcasm)

 

[Imperator Knoedel]

Oh no please stop, I'm so scared!!! I can NOT believe it! I just didn't see this coming from a mile away! How could it be?????

(to clarify, yes, that is sarcasm)

So what is your answer sir?

Shesh, Our Prime Minister kept bugging Us about formulating a formal declaration of war for Our Public Relations, so here it is:

In the name of Parliament, the Europan nation and its godlike ruler, His Excellency, Czar of Europa and absolute souvereign of all that is civilized, it is hereby declared that a state of war exists between Europa, bastion of all that is just and right, and the band of Barbarians that is commonly known as "The Great Southern Empire".

We act in the tradition and by the grace of Alexander The Great, Augustus Caesar, Emperor Charlemagne, and Her Majesty Queen Victoria, in that we have decided to mercifully extend the grasp of civilization toward the poor souls that live under Barbarian oppression, and reclaim the Holy Land for its rightful owners.

Should you unexpectedly come to the wise conclusion that resistance is futile, you can prove your worthiness by putting all the lands that rightfully belong to the Europan nation under control of His Excellency´s troops.

By that, of course, we mean everything that ever was subject to a Europan power, be it the Roman Empire, Great Britain or the Catholic Church.

Moscow, 19.09.2067

Prime Minister of the Europan Parliament: Catherine Chapiro
Czar of Europa: His Excellency

 

[Nighthawk419]

Our answer is yes.

 

[Imperator Knoedel]

Our answer is yes.

*BEEEEEEP* I am terribly sorry, but that answer is wrong. Better luck next time!

 

[Luthor_Saxburg]

The Americans watch, confused, as events unfold in Europe, Asia and Africa...

War events take relevant space in US newspapers... but off course not bigger then the new "Big" TV series that everybody is addicted to!

 

[Imperator Knoedel]

Oh and We also made a peace offer to China, ´cause that war was just an act, there hasn´t been a single loss on either side and the big battle in Siberia we reported hasn´t actually taken place. We just wanted to lull The Lady into a false sense of security, but alas, she seems to be too familiar with intrigue to fall for our ruse.

 

[Nighthawk419]

Oh and We also made a peace offer to China, ´cause that war was just an act, there hasn´t been a single loss on either side and the big battle in Siberia we reported hasn´t actually taken place. We just wanted to lull The Lady into a false sense of security, but alas, she seems to be too familiar with intrigue to fall for our ruse.

Jesus II, after his Modern Army blew a hole in a European Modern Armor...

"yeeeeeeee haawwwww ride'em cowboy! Don't you remember when my predecessor was kilt??? The Lady is the living embodiment of intrigue!!! "L-O-L" as the old timers used to say! Your invasion is doomed to fail! Come on buckos let's waste this motha!!!"

gps

 

[Nighthawk419]

Where did this one get to?

 

[Tigranes]

The Lady is the living embodiment of intrigue!!!

I liked this one Very true!

 

[Luthor_Saxburg]

Who is the handsome man that lied about keeping the peace with The Lady while in fact preparing to backstab her all the time?

I have no idea... who???

But doing that is the same as trying to teach Christianity to the Pope!!!

 

[Eclipse4449]

I'd like to play too. And I thought Writting in Gunpowder was slow paced

 

[Nighthawk419]

No, seriously, who has the turn? I sent it to Eclipse on Feb 21 around 1am...

 

[Imperator Knoedel]

No, seriously, who has the turn? I sent it to Eclipse on Feb 21 around 1am...

The last turn I sent was on the 15th and the last I got at the 16th, so I suppose Eclipse has it.