Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders

[Graceheart the Leopard]

The Hunger Games
Not-So-Useful Wonder for Revolutions
- Requires Police State
- -100% Rebellion chance in all cities
- + 50% , in a random city each turn
- + 50% in all cities

Rhye's and Fall of Civilization Version
- As the above, but +100% stability

 

[SheaD]

It does, however, increase the chance of your state religion being switched permanently to Christian theocracy or fanatical atheism and habeas corpus being suspended forever.

Now let's not be silly. I don't see any "fanatical atheism" countries around nor any Christian theocracies for that matter. I do see a good few of Islamic theocracy hellholes though.

 

[Kark]

Now let's not be silly. I don't see any "fanatical atheism" countries around nor any Christian theocracies for that matter. I do see a good few of Islamic theocracy hellholes though.

In this thread we accept other peoples silliness and try to top it with something we find funny (and they may find silly).

Kark (Not-So-Useful Original Poster)


PS from the Chicago Tribune:
"But as women gain more equality in every area, they may find funny the same things we [men] find funny."
Ed Dunkelblau, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist
Member of The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH)
(Chicago Tribune editor's note: Would this be progress?)

 

[Ferchalurch]

"Caligula" of the Romans

Mentally Unstable
+5 / city
-3 / city
-15% per turn

Addled
- Every turn one unit of population is assassinated due to alleged conspiracies
- New citizen:
Caligula's Horse
+15%
Every other citizen reduced to incompetent senators

UB - Caligula's Estate

A library with a 100% reduction from your commerce

UU - Senator

-15 per turn
Hatches assassination plots: +3 per city

Also known as "Little Boots"

 

[EsaKo]

Open source (in real life very useful but in civ not-so-useful tech)

+1 in all cities because of free games, operating systems and such
+5% in all cities because programming skills become more common

And finally...

all your science gets shared with every other civ worldwide.


Memes (not-so-useful random event)

A new meme is created in a random city, and one of several things occur depending on the severity of the meme...

• Harmless repetion (all your base) +1 unhappy because people get fed up with that stuff
• Troll wave (Rickrolling) +3 unhappy because people get fed up with that stuff even quicker
• Meatsphere michief (countless examples...) +5 unhappiness because people are very busy trolling each other IRL, also 20% chances of losing 20% of current production because of exaggerated pranks
• Hate campaign (again countless examples) +5 unhappiness, added unhappiness for each religion and culture present in city, city may fall into revolt
• Teh Legion (hasn't happened... yet) The Anonymous migrate to one of your cities. The city becomes independent, and houses Teh Legion. You'd better nuke them fast - Teh Legion won't hesitate when charging at your cities!

Memes, if untreated, may escalate: if you permit "Harmless repetition", you'll get "Troll waves" almost certainly.

Of course, memes existed before Teh Internets, but should it exist, the meme may become global, potentially crushing the very concept of civilization (see Teh Legion).

 

[Öjevind Lång]

Now let's not be silly. I don't see any "fanatical atheism" countries around nor any Christian theocracies for that matter. I do see a good few of Islamic theocracy hellholes though.

Before 1989, there was a great number of fanatically atheist countries. Some of them (North Korea, for example) are still around. Fanatical Christian countries used to be a dime a dozen (Inquisition, anyone?) and if American fundies have their way they will return. Ever read Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale"? It's about what the US may become if those people have their will.

 

[Graceheart the Leopard]

Communism =/= Fanatical Atheism.

While we're on the topic of Atheism:

Richard Dawkins
Not-so-Useful Great Scientist

-+5 in the city he's settled in if there is an Abrahamic religion in that city

 

[cardgame]

but, +50%

also, ojevind, North Korea isn't an atheist country. They have a state religion: the worship of their leader. IIRC they are brainwashed from elementary school that he is god. (forgot name)

 

[EsaKo]

Kim il-Sun (not sure about spelling), he's dead now but he's still their leader.

 

[pesgores]

Kim il-Sun (not sure about spelling), he's dead now but he's still their leader.

Kim Il-Sung, yeah, you almost got it. He died in 1994 but is still their god and ruler...

 

[vicawoo]

Swedish Porno Movies (Not-so-useful corporation unless you are Swedish)

All other civs have to pay lots of money to the producing country, and their economic output *and* birthrate tank because everybody just sits around watching porn all the time.

Unfortunately, I can only find it on hulu.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/95006/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-feminist-pornography


Republican Pundit
Ability: renames resolutions at civilizations of their current location. Example: If their civilization was in the opposition against the civilization controlling the UN, proposed resolutions are renamed "Nuclear Options", causing AI civilizations to move down to abstain or oppose.

 

[Kark]

Starbucks (Not-So-Useful Corporation)

Or ... Wait ... In a violent game like Civ, it's useful to have a chain of coffeehouses where you can walk in and order a banana Frappuccino with a cinnamon bun while carrying a handgun or a bazooka or a musket - or a wooden club, if you're a never upgraded warrior.

(And yes:It's for real.)

 

[catfish99]

Real Internet

Still gives all techs known to two rival civs. -1 in each city due to excessive work time spent on message boards. If running Theocracy, +2 due to government blocking porn sites. If running Free Market, +1 -1 due to popularity of Craigslist "adult services".

 

[Bushface]

re Real Internet - shouldn't that say "gives all techs known to the builder to two rival civs" ?

 

[Rychord]

Monthy Python

- UU for England, replaces great artist

- 5 Immediately spawn in England following discovery of Philosophy, and 1 spawns in America if that civ is present (if not, a random English city on a different landmass from the capital breaks off into an American Colony and gains that unit)

- University now gives + 200%, but -99%

- All cow resources are immediately converted to cheese, which is immediately sent away to any city which doesn't have the John Cleese variant of the unit present within its cultural borders

- All resources that require hunting turn to spam, which provides +1, +5

- Nullifies the Parrots random event

- Terry Jones variant can be consumed to build Shed UB (+1), but only if the city already has one Shed

- Can be attached to any unit as a Great General, immediately killing it with the world's deadliest joke (not-so-great-event).

- When Hollywood is built, all hit movies resources are converted to The Life of Brian, which cause 2 in all cities in civs with Christianity as their state religion

- Randomly sends units on the Find the Holy Grail not-so-great-quest

- All broadcast towers instantly become Fawlty Towers, which give an extra +2

I just realised that this list could go on forever...

 

[monoolho]

Yes, Monty Python random events list could go on forever, including old men who ask questions on bridges, automatically killing 50% of any units that cross rivers; Strange giant feet falling from the sky; a nice little trip of all your specialists from 2 cities to build a bridge to connect the two peaks of mount kilimanjaro... And randomly a deja vu effect which repeats the last event for 8 turns straight.

And now... A scotsman on a horse.

Brazil - Can only start on Renaissance (not-so-useful civilization)

not-so-useful UU - Super Tucano (Air Unit, replaces Advanced Fighter)
:1
:3 -50% against fighters, -50% against bombers, +1% against tile improvements

not-so-useful UB - Favela (with each new Favela it replaces a granary, aqueduct, library, barracks, walls or any national wonder)
cost: None
Whenever a city gains 5 pop levels, one is automatically built, replacing a building, there is no favela limit
Obsoletes Public Transport due to criminality
+5 pop in the city it is built
-400%
+10
+10 due to criminality
+200% consumption

New not-so-useful Corporation Petrobras (BR)
Can be built by not-so-great engineer
Requires Combustion, Plastics
+10% in HQ
-25% in all cities (gas prices only go up with taxes, never go down)
+2 diplo with all civs (selling ethanol)

Not-so-useful Leaders
Luís Inácio "Lula" da Silva (Charismatic/Charismatic)
Traits
Workers' Party (PT)
+300% Inflation due to corruption
Drunk
+1 in 5 larger cities
Buttkisser
+5 diplo with all other factions
-100% Military Production
-4xp for all units
+25% XP needed for promotions
+50% Unit Maintenance
Ignorant
-35%

Unique Lula's Projects
Fome Zero Project (No hunger/zero hunger project)
+100% in all cities
+50% City Maintenance in all cities

Bolsa Família Project (give money to poor people so they shut up and don't complain about the government)
-10 /pop level in each city
+20 in cities without library/university

Unique Random Events
"99% of your senators are proven guilty of corruption by the liberal media"
- Blame it on the Democrats (+ 5 in 5 random cities)
- Make Mass Propaganda about disarming people ( +3 in 8 random cities)
- Blame it on the past dictatorship (Req: Mass Media +5 in all cities)
- Say "I don't know anything" (Nothing happens)

"60% of your farmlands have been razed by heavy rains"
- Do Nothing (4000 is subtracted from your treasury due to corruption, lose 60% of your farms +5 in all cities)
- Pay 5000 to haiti earthquake relief (even if it doesn't exist, lose 5000 and all farms)
- Talk about soccer (+1 in all cities, lose 4000 due to corruption.)

Emilio Garrastazu Medici (Aggressive/Imperialistic)
Can only use State Police Civic
+200% Maintenance in all cities
Every 1-5 turns kills one population in a random city
No in all cities
Randomly creates a not-so-Great Brazillian General every 1-2 turns
-5 diplo with all State Police factions
+2 diplo with America
+10/turn from America
-100%
-50%

Not-so-Great Brazillian General
:0
:0
+50% Maintenance cost in city it is stationed (stacks costs)
Cannot move, cannot disband, cannot be given away, cannot airlift
5% chance/turn of killing pop or making a military parade (+5 -20 nothing produced this turn)

Random Unique Events
"Communist/Liberal word is being spread"
- Spank/Kill Journalists in larger city (-1 pop in city)
- Kill all journalists (-1 pop in all cities)
- Fake bomb threat by Communists/Liberals (+1 in all cities)

"The people are losing fear of our magnanimous government"
- Randomly kill people (-3 pop in 3 random cities)
- Fake communist coup d'etat (-3pop in 3 random big cities)
- Kill journalists (-1 pop in 8 random cities)

 

[jwez11007]

The Berlin Wall (Not-so-useful national wonder)
Splits the civ's capital in two, the other half is controlled by a neighbouring civ.
-5 in city (on both sides of the wall).
-1 in other cities in both civs.
2% chance every turn of going obsolete.
Also obsolete after the Glasnost event.

Note: Like other wonders (for example the Oxford University), it may be built in any city, not only Berlin. But a dividing wall is still The Berlin Wall, even if placed in a different part of the world.

Should be triggered when two countries eliminate a third in the destroyed civs capital.

 

[monoolho]

The Marlboro Corporation (not-so-useful corporation)
Can be built by a Great Engineer or a Great Artist
+20% in HQ
+5% in every city with Zippo
+15 in all cities
20% chance/turn of burning a random building in the city due to smokers
Life expectancy in your civilization drops 20 years or more.

 

[Öjevind Lång]

but, +50%

also, ojevind, North Korea isn't an atheist country. They have a state religion: the worship of their leader. IIRC they are brainwashed from elementary school that he is god. (forgot name)

Adoring a dead or a living leader is not religion. It's an enomrously overdone variety of hero worship, but not a religion.

 

[cardgame]

Let me dig around, maybe I can find an article on it?

OK here's what wiki says

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-il#Cult_of_personality

Kim Jong-il is the centre of an elaborate personality cult inherited from his father and founder of the DPRK, Kim Il-sung. Defectors have been quoted as saying that North Korean schools deify both father and son.[90]