Payola?

[Lord_Iggy]

It isn't going too far, and I wasn't being sarcastic.

It stops here. This game can give you more entertainment than what you've described... and if it's otherwise, I'll leave you with your fecal fetish.

 

[Dale]

It stops here. This game can give you more entertainment than what you've described... and if it's otherwise, I'll leave you with your fecal fetish.

Entertainment?

Cell:
A moderately successful pacman. The enemies even act like those simple 1980's ghosts in that once they lock onto you they'll ignore the 100 other smaller prey they swim past to get you.

Path to success:
Have both mouths, and an extra set of flangella. Eat anything and fast enough to outswim anything. Completion time 5 minutes.

Creature:
A basic first-person shooter where your only actions are befriend, kill or eat. If you're a carnivore, then you must kill to eat. Whilst the environment is amazing (great job Maxis) there is literally no reality in the animals of the planet. No roaming, no extincting between species, no diversification, just isolated pockets of as many different types of similar creatures as can be stuffed into the land. There's no migration patterns (except a very crude "you must move" mission), no feeding paths, or any other forms of animal evolution (other animals don't evolve).

Path to success:
If you're a carnivore, befriending is hard. Your mouth just can't sing. But you can eat. So just kill everything. If you're a herbivore or omnivore you have both options to end in one of three places: killer, suck-up or in between. Completion time: 20 minutes (though you can spend another hour or two as it's the only enjoyment you'll get from this point on).

Note: this is the best level and does provide some entertainment.

Tribal:
An EXTREMELY crappy RTS. It doesn't even come close to the fun of pong. It is literally THE WORST GAME IN THE WORLD! The AI doesn't not interact with other AI's. There is no diplomacy. The AI is programmed to hate you and attack you. It will literally, within 60 seconds of you giving them a gift, hate you and attack again. The AI will NOT retain neutral relations if you gift them.

Path to success:
Gift, tune, tune. Gift, tune, tune. It gets boring by the third tribe so it's a CHORE! Gift, tune, tune. Zero losses, zero kills, EXTREMELY simple. Completion time: 8 minutes.

Civ:
Refer to Tribal. Exactly the same, except you use vehicles instead of creatures. Here, the method is only different. If you've been a predominant killer, you use military. If you've been a predominant friend, you use religion. Both of these styles play exactly the same. Build a crap load of units and attack city by city. If you get the misfortune of having to be a trader, good luck trying to finish the level. The only way you can win is to buy other cities. Impossible if the other teams are attacking you. You can't defend yourself.

Path to success:
Make sure you are military or religious. Build take over, build take over. The same as Tribal, by the third city it's a CHORE again! Blah! End the level using the super weapon. Thank god for the quick ending, or you'd have to end your own life! Completion time: 20 minutes.

Space:
For some people, space is the salvation of the game. For me it's not. Once again, it's the same sh1t repeating itself. Explore, meet someone, deny outrageous demands for money, they declare war. Every 5 minutes race back to one of your useless planet colonies to defend against a stupid raid or attack, or bio-disaster. Rinse and repeat. By this stage of the game you're ready to beg the wife to let you vaccum or wash the dishes, as at least those chores have a good outcome!

The sum of all parts:
We were promised a game of evolution. What we got was a game full of crap mini-games that except for cell and creature hold no link between each other. Cell and creature are the only two levels with any form of evolution/development in them. The other levels are static in there is no evolution, development or advancement. You only expand.

Conclusion:
Spore is a steaming pile of horse sh1t.

 

[Dale]

It's a shame that out of this entire "game" the only entertainment value is in the first 30 minutes.

Out of the $100 I paid, I value this game at $20. And that's the REAL problem!

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Wait, so horse excrement is worth more than Spore, and you value Spore at 20 dollars? If you're serious, give me an address, and we can set up a mutually profitable trade relationship!

 

[Dale]

Wait, so horse excrement is worth more than Spore, and you value Spore at 20 dollars? If you're serious, give me an address, and we can set up a mutually profitable trade relationship!

That's the best you got? Puh-lease!

BTW, you should visit your local nursery. The cost of horse crap is quite high these days. I hear it works wonders on roses. It is evident that horse crap has more usefulness than Spore then.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Well, you just said that Spore = Horse Feces. Then you note that Horse Feces is actually quite valuable. Mexed missages Dale, mexed missages!

 

[Dale]

Yes, but there is a difference between the value of horse poo as a computer game and horse poo as a rose fertilizer. And the value of Spore as a computer game and Spore as a rose fertilizer is the same for both: zero.

In context, the value of horse poo as a computer game is zero, so I was actually being nice to Spore giving it a higher value.

 

[Dom Pedro II]

I tried putting horse crap in the CD drive one time... not much fun. So horse crap should not be used for entertainment purposes...

EDIT: On a side note, Spore is so disappointing to me (since I think it has great potential as a game concept), that it makes me want to do better (at least in terms of gameplay)... I don't think a civ mod would work too well eventhough I remember a mildly entertaining Civ2 mod from years ago that ran through the course of evolution on Earth. But it makes me want to try my hand with something a bit trickier than modding a game. So maybe it does have some uses after all! An inspiration for others to do better!

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Dale, seriously, you're just bothering me. Spore has value as a computer game, or you wouldn't care enough to maintain a conversation about it.

 

[Dale]

Seriously mate, you have your opinion, I have mine. I am hoping that EA/Maxis fix the game without additional cost to me, but I seriously doubt that will happen.

But then it can surprise you.

I fail to see how you can deny that the game is poor. There is no strategy, no thinking, no synergy between sections of the game. All up it's my opinion there's some poor design decisions in it. And that's seriously detracts from the entertainment value for me.

If you don't like my opinion, stiff.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

The gameplay is not revolutionary, it is not deep, and it can be repetitive- however, the capacity for creativity and content-sharing is unrivalled.

My issue isn't what you are saying in your latest post- it's just the literal comparison of Spore to horse dung. Not even the worst game is as bad as a pile of it, unless the only parameter on which you judge things is how well they create fertilizer.

 

[Dale]

Ahh..... now it's all clear. A "cultural confusion".

I am not literally comparing Spore to a steaming pile. The analogy of using that reference (as we use it in Australia) is an expression of my displeasure with the game. We Aussies like to express in extremes, such as "so hungry I could eat a horse", or "dry as a dead dingo", or "as crap as a steaming pile of ..". I was mearly using the phrase to express my opinion, not as a literal translation.

Sorry for any confusion caused.

 

[Dom Pedro II]

I like this conversation because I'm learning lots of Aussie slang

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Alright- that clears this mess up, in more ways than one.

 

[Rub'Rum]

Alright- that clears this mess up, in more ways than one.

Really? As for me, I'm completely 'ed

 

[Dale]

Really? As for me, I'm completely 'ed

That's okay, you're French Canadian, we didn't really expect you to follow.