PureNES: Epoch of Glory

OOC: I guess everyone is occupied with blowing each other's heads off, but I'm a little surprised to see a total lack of exploration stories so far. There's a lot of interesting things waiting to be discovered.

The Imperial Republic of Taenevix
Ruler/Player: LittleBoots

Government: Imperial Republic. The Emperor retains significant private lands and possessions, and can veto legislation, but is subordinate to the elected officials of the Celath. In reality, he wields immense influence through the Minister in Chief, an Imperial appointee, and large groups of nationalist right-wing senators (Celathi) who currently control the majority of votes. The one weakness of the system is a general disenfranchisement of poorer voters, however. It is a very Bismarckian system.

Technology: Taenevix utilized a shrewd combination of patronage and an early expulsion of the medieval guilds to gain control of a large group of craftsmen and engineers. The metalwork in Vertelian is on par with Delsen, and second only to Kuurel as the best in Arios. Taenevix designers believe that "form follows function," and this is evident in their airship designs, many of which use an innovative parallel balloon framework (the Naian style) to provide enhanced speed.

Culture: Taenevix maintains a subtle patchwork of different elements of Claidhe and pseudo-Athurian language and culture. There is a strong Athurian minority near the Choke (border with Jathalland,) and a significant Unist Kantic-speaking minority in the eastern provinces. Despite these differences, the people of Taenevix believe they have legitimately inherited the mantle of a Claidhe empire after the catastrophic failure (and disintegration) of both Callixtus and Buridisia.

Economy: Taenevix has one of the largest populations in Arios, and their metropoli are bristling with heavy industry. Blessed with a steady supply of coal recently "acquired" from the Buridisian border regions, the steel mills, textile plants and canning factories of the central heartland give Taenevix a roaring economy and a brimming economic surplus. Two difficult conditions remain the growing poverty of the legions of factory workers, and an increasing growth of both pollution and slums.

Military: The Fifteen Imperial Divisions of Taenevix are unrivaled in Arios for strength, discipline, and tactical knowledge, except perhaps in the armies of the Lord-Dominator. 200,000 troops are kept in an excellent state of readiness, and their only weakness could be considered a lack of recent fighting experience. Nonethless, even the Confederate Kingdoms fear to upset their neighbor on land. A quiet pact between the two has sacrificed Taenevix' navy, a mere 30 ships, in return for a free rein on the Continent, as far as Claidhe affairs go.

Infrastructure: Unlike most of Arios, Taenevix has literally been untouched since the Two Hundred Years' War with Athuria, almost 500 years ago. This is both a blessing and a curse, since no rebuilding has been necessary, but the old feudal transportation systems had to be fully overhauled. A customs union and postal service came first, followed by an integrated turnpike system. Railroads now crisscross the land, but the telegraph has yet to be effectively implemented. Some Taenevix scientists report that it may be possible to transmit sounds across wires, rendering the communication networks of Jathalland and Gosica obsolete.

History: Taenevix occupies a region long inhabited by humans: first relatives of the Athurians, then the sweeping migration of the Claidhe. This gave them the basic Claidhe undertones: freedom loving, fierce people, which clashed massively with the ideology of the rising Athurian city-states: discipline and obedience. Taenevix rose to power on these strengths, and not without a little luck: crushing feudal rivals into the ground, resisting centuries of Athurian expansionism, and the sleek and skillful use of diplomacy to keep them out of Arios' Great Wars, allowing them to grow beyond their minor Claidhe neighbors, which were soon absorbed. A skillful betrayal of Buridisia at its moment of collapse brought many of the fertile borderlands under their control. Rapidly industrializing, the nation, despite lacking colonial power of any kind, is perhaps second strongest on the land in Arios, behind only the Princepii and equal with Gosica. Along with Princeps, Jathalland and Mettlingen, they are one of the few nations to master the production of airships, and their outfitting for combat.
 
General Lucianus’s arrival in Saranir was greeted with both joy and trepidation. The voyage had been quiet; clearly, the Princepii had decided not to further pursue naval assaults in the short-term. Lucianus’s soldiers were well-equipped and disciplined, though not the cream of Telerius’s crop. Lucianus would need a miracle to command the elite of the Empire once more, and to remove himself from the Emperor’s displeasure. Still, he would soon be in his element: inland battles involving cavalry.

The Emperor of Saranir himself had greeted Lucianus, and welcomed the Telerian forces into his realm. He brought with him his sons, a handsome and strong man; Lucianus was certain he would find one of the Emperor’s five daughters pleasing, and they him. He set sail aboard three of Lucianus’s ships three days following, after two nights of feasts. He would choose his future wife in person, as was the custom of Saranir. The Emperor himself seemed warm enough, and relaxed, but both men were well aware of the dangers that faced Saranir. In their first discussions of battle, the day following the departure of the groom-to-be, Lucianus became well aware of the Emperor’s trepidation. He himself wondered if it had been well-advised to offer aid to Saranir now, when Telerius’s armies seemed needed elsewhere.

“Most glad am I of your coming, General,” the Emperor spoke in broken Telerian. “Did not know we whether Telerius would answer. Our need is great.”

Lucianus grimaced internally at the Saranir Emperor’s mincing of his mother tongue, and chose to answer in Saran. He had always possessed a gift for tongues, or so his colleagues told him. “And for that reason Telerius extends her hand, and her armies, in friendship. Long ago Telerius and Saranir were bitter enemies, but we liked not at all the idea of steppe barbarians sweeping aside a Celian nation. We must stand together.”

The Emperor was clearly relieved at having the obligation of speaking his guest’s language removed. “Indeed we must. Saranir’s navy, backward though it is, will join your own in battle against the foul northerners. We fight the barbarians now only on land.”

He paused for a moment, as if considering his next words.

“Your soldiers will do well, I think, in our support. I have heard tale of your battles with the Princepii. Is it the truth that your bayonet stabbed that northern lord, Compiarda?”

General Lucianus was less taken aback by such stories than he had been at his first return to Telerius. Some knew his shame, but others had heard only the wildest rumors. He had not thought such talk had spread so far. Perhaps his own troops were here the ones doing the chattering.

“No, no, nothing like that. Truth be told, majesty, it was a rather lucky coincidence that someone chose that moment to assassinate Compiarda. We fought well, but the Princepii then had us outnumbered, and had superior technology. Now, though, they fight amongst themselves.”

“Yes, I had heard such as well. One can hardly trust rumors from so distant, but merchants and guildsmen fleeing the north say that the lands of the Princepii are all aflame with rebellion in the north. This Compiarda’s son will perhaps be an easy opponent!”

“One hopes, your majesty, one hopes.”

The next morning, both the Emperor’s train and the Telerian army departed the coastal city of Alatar, the Emperor for the capital and the Telerians for the northeastern front. Lucianus would prove himself now, to two Emperors, in his element.
 
OOC: I guess everyone is occupied with blowing each other's heads off, but I'm a little surprised to see a total lack of exploration stories so far. There's a lot of interesting things waiting to be discovered.

OOC: I would just love to write stories about anything non-military related but as I'm in a fight for my life... :p
 
OOC: I would just love to write stories about anything non-military related but as I'm in a fight for my life... :p

Same here. Well, not quite a fight for my life. Certainly we're not in as bad shape as the Yun. But I still can't afford to send tons of troops gallivanting off to the Mournful Coasts to explore. If you had the Princepii and Darians collapse under internal pressures I could start writing exploration stories ;)
 
And Gosica had a mission of exploration which failed spectacularly, which probably puts other rulers off of the idea a bit.
 
Same here. Well, not quite a fight for my life. Certainly we're not in as bad shape as the Yun. But I still can't afford to send tons of troops gallivanting off to the Mournful Coasts to explore. If you had the Princepii and Darians collapse under internal pressures I could start writing exploration stories ;)

OOC: Would be lovely if the Telerian Empire sent some weapons our way :mischief: We would remember for like eternity ;)
 
OOC: I guess everyone is occupied with blowing each other's heads off, but I'm a little surprised to see a total lack of exploration stories so far. There's a lot of interesting things waiting to be discovered.

The Imperial Republic of Taenevix
Ruler/Player: LittleBoots

Government: Imperial Republic. The Emperor retains significant private lands and possessions, and can veto legislation, but is subordinate to the elected officials of the Celath. In reality, he wields immense influence through the Minister in Chief, an Imperial appointee, and large groups of nationalist right-wing senators (Celathi) who currently control the majority of votes. The one weakness of the system is a general disenfranchisement of poorer voters, however. It is a very Bismarckian system.

Technology: Taenevix utilized a shrewd combination of patronage and an early expulsion of the medieval guilds to gain control of a large group of craftsmen and engineers. The metalwork in Vertelian is on par with Delsen, and second only to Kuurel as the best in Arios. Taenevix designers believe that "form follows function," and this is evident in their airship designs, many of which use an innovative parallel balloon framework (the Naian style) to provide enhanced speed.

Culture: Taenevix maintains a subtle patchwork of different elements of Claidhe and pseudo-Athurian language and culture. There is a strong Athurian minority near the Choke (border with Jathalland,) and a significant Unist Kantic-speaking minority in the eastern provinces. Despite these differences, the people of Taenevix believe they have legitimately inherited the mantle of a Claidhe empire after the catastrophic failure (and disintegration) of both Callixtus and Buridisia.

Economy: Taenevix has one of the largest populations in Arios, and their metropoli are bristling with heavy industry. Blessed with a steady supply of coal recently "acquired" from the Buridisian border regions, the steel mills, textile plants and canning factories of the central heartland give Taenevix a roaring economy and a brimming economic surplus. Two difficult conditions remain the growing poverty of the legions of factory workers, and an increasing growth of both pollution and slums.

Military: The Fifteen Imperial Divisions of Taenevix are unrivaled in Arios for strength, discipline, and tactical knowledge, except perhaps in the armies of the Lord-Dominator. 200,000 troops are kept in an excellent state of readiness, and their only weakness could be considered a lack of recent fighting experience. Nonethless, even the Confederate Kingdoms fear to upset their neighbor on land. A quiet pact between the two has sacrificed Taenevix' navy, a mere 30 ships, in return for a free rein on the Continent, as far as Claidhe affairs go.

Infrastructure: Unlike most of Arios, Taenevix has literally been untouched since the Two Hundred Years' War with Athuria, almost 500 years ago. This is both a blessing and a curse, since no rebuilding has been necessary, but the old feudal transportation systems had to be fully overhauled. A customs union and postal service came first, followed by an integrated turnpike system. Railroads now crisscross the land, but the telegraph has yet to be effectively implemented. Some Taenevix scientists report that it may be possible to transmit sounds across wires, rendering the communication networks of Jathalland and Gosica obsolete.

History: Taenevix occupies a region long inhabited by humans: first relatives of the Athurians, then the sweeping migration of the Claidhe. This gave them the basic Claidhe undertones: freedom loving, fierce people, which clashed massively with the ideology of the rising Athurian city-states: discipline and obedience. Taenevix rose to power on these strengths, and not without a little luck: crushing feudal rivals into the ground, resisting centuries of Athurian expansionism, and the sleek and skillful use of diplomacy to keep them out of Arios' Great Wars, allowing them to grow beyond their minor Claidhe neighbors, which were soon absorbed. A skillful betrayal of Buridisia at its moment of collapse brought many of the fertile borderlands under their control. Rapidly industrializing, the nation, despite lacking colonial power of any kind, is perhaps second strongest on the land in Arios, behind only the Princepii and equal with Gosica. Along with Princeps, Jathalland and Mettlingen, they are one of the few nations to master the production of airships, and their outfitting for combat.

Thy, if I dont get URA in-depth info like that soon I'm going to start stabbing people in the face. So please think of the children.
 
OOC: Cleric, you should have kept on making noise and bothering thlayli. I mean, most of us didn't even know what country you were :confused:
 
OOC: That is because the new Cleric is designed with low-observability, high-stealth features.

Also Iggy did you just blow up a part of my port? Do explain or I might as well have you shot on the grounds of being a suspected Metti-Guild merchant. At the very least I can jail his expletive slinging ass.
 
And Gosica had a mission of exploration which failed spectacularly, which probably puts other rulers off of the idea a bit.

Meh, being a rampaging idiot is all about the story.
 
OOC: That is because the new Cleric is designed with low-observability, high-stealth features.

Also Iggy did you just blow up a part of my port? Do explain or I might as well have you shot on the grounds of being a suspected Metti-Guild merchant. At the very least I can jail his expletive slinging ass.

All will be revealed soon...
 
The fleet carrying all of Guild Elstadt’s members who could flee arrived in Teler exactly one month following the death of Compiarda. They had been set upon by Princepii ships near the Gates of Fire and a quarter of their vessels sunk, but they still made a formidable sight in the harbor. As many prominent members of Guild Elstadt had already been in Telerius when the Gosican-led coalition invaded Mettlingen coordinating joint Elstadt-Aldarii mining operations in the inland reaches of Telerius, only a few truly important Elstadters disembarked from the lead ship, but the head of Guild Elstadt was among them. It was, perhaps, a sign of the times for Guild Elstadt that neither the Emperor himself nor Lord Leion Aldarius, the Emperor’s most trusted friend, came to greet him, but only two messengers from the palace. No longer would rulers bow to Guild Elstadt, at least not here.

Dulyk himself captained the Iron Lady, one of the few true war-equipped steamships Elstadt commanded. Upon his entry into Teler harbor, he had been informed that his ship was now jointly owned by the Empire and Elstadt, and thus too his employment was split. According to his fellow captains, this had been a part of the deal struck between Elstadt and the Emperor, but Dulyk was not certain that he liked being traded from one commander to another, even if only in part. Telerians were not Metti. Metti might stab you in the back without a second thought, but they were familiar; as he gazed around at the genuinely antique buildings of the enormous port city, he felt distinctly the distance from home.

Nonetheless, business in Telerius was certainly preferable to oppression by the vile Gosicans or the barbarous Princepii. Loyalty to Guild Elstadt would never allow him to think a positive thought of these lands again, even should all enmity fade from others’ memories.

A voice jolted him from his thoughts.

“Looks almost like that ancient city the Shell dug up in the south of Mettlingen, doesn’t it? Hard to think that this is our home port now. Hell, there won’t even be a Shell here. Sounds more like the Guild leadership’s become a Shell for our new Emperor. What do you think, Dulyk?”

He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know what to think, Hama. We don’t know these people yet. In time we will, and then we’ll know whether our lot will be better or worse here. But even if its worse, it’s better than what Mettlingen’s become.”

“Always the philosopher! But you’re right, you’re right.” They walked in silence for a minute. “Hey did, you hear Gidyn talking about teaching these Telerians? Word is that the Emperor, or maybe this Council of theirs, is mighty interested in airships. Don’t have them here, not yet.”

Dulyk gave a faint smile. “They’re our Council and our Emperor now. It takes some getting used to, saying that. I heard those same rumors. One of my engineers worked on airships for the Shell once, they whisked him away with promises of riches the instant we got to port. Can’t say I’m complaining too badly; they replaced him with a genius Telerian, and he even speaks Metti. I already have six Telerians in my crew! It’ll be good to have such a large talent pool to pull from.”

“True enough. Ah, look, it’s my new abode.” He pointed at a row of apartments coming into view ahead. “At least, until I find myself something grander. I’ll be seeing you, Dulyk.”

“And you, Hama.”

Captain Dulyk strode off into his new homeland.
 
A Man for All Times
He realized that he was an old man and it was sad in his heart. He had allowed his subordinate officers to convince him out of a plan he had confidence it which turned out would have been a dismal failure. Those young grasshoppers had grown up when he wasn’t looking. Decades of serving His Emperor in the army had blinded him to the changes that occurred outside and now, he knew it was still not too late to change for the mighty rock can either flow with the river or be brushed aside.

He looked at the Telcari messenger who had traveled under a white flag to speak with the commander of the garrison here in Puyi. Moments ago he had asked for his surrender.

“Sir, I bring a message on the behalf of General Irminius. He demands the surrender of this city or he will utterly raze it to the ground Colonel,” was what the young Telcari had said.

“I am no Colonel, I am a General, General Li Fang. I will give you a message to bring to your commander as a one of your own said to me. Years ago as I led my armies against your Kind, I came upon a Telcari fortress held resolutely by an old Telcari General by the name of Pompilius and demanded the fortress’ surrender. The old man said this: ‘I have not yet begun to fight.’ He was right; we were thrown back at the Eretrii River. So I say this to you and your General, I have not yet begun to fight.”


The young Telcari would bow and return to his General. How the times had changed, years ago he had been the one who had besieged a fortress and not the one who held it; remembering the wiles of that old Telcari General, he knew that the experience and wisdom of decades of war would prove much greater than a young and flamboyant officer lusting for honor and glory. Yes, that was what he fought for. Filial piety to parents he never knew, respect for elders he never saw.

But who was he to deprive those who had the happiness he never had? He was an orphan taken into the Imperial Army, his sole redeeming feature was that he had not been saddled with any defeats. He looked at the camps beyond cannon range that surrounded the city and steeled his heart. Thousands could die, he not excluded, but so what? If their deaths would save more, if his life would save His Emperor’s, so be it. Always criticized for his conservative outlook by his former colleagues, he marveled now. Where were those colleagues? All were dead.

The civilian population had not been initially very pleased at the prospect of a full scale siege even though the city granaries and underground storage promised years of survival even if it had to be rationed. His presence had reassured many of the people in the city. “If General Li Fang is willing to stand his ground here and fight, who are we to flee?” Many of his young, no, no longer young, grasshoppers had seek to command the post here while he would retreat with the main army.

He had refused them, they were the future. He was the product of a bygone era and would make his stand and look his foes in their eyes for one final last stand. If he would die, then he hoped his name would live on. If he did not, it would just be as pleasing to him. Such melancholy thoughts had never occurred to him before as he merely stared at the horizon. He would be forced to encourage the younger male civilians to join up, perhaps he could use women to heckle the younger men?

It was a city under siege as craftsmen of all skills came together to construct weapons of war, teams of laborers worked to strengthen the series of fortifications, the public parks were turned to farmland, and as women took up the sewing wheel to clothe the soldiers. War in the end, when all was said and done, was a war of wills between peoples as an army cannot live without the support and aid of the people they defend. Puyi was a city that numbered and neared the hundred thousand far from the millions that resided in the Capitol Region.

He smiled lovingly at his cannons and rocket-mounts, he hoped he would not have to use them, but he loved them nonetheless.
 
As I’ve written everything I feel I can about my current wars, I now instead have a story by request of Thlayli: exploration.


The trade in spices was ever-present. In the Spice Islands, people from all walks of life were involved in the procurement of the world’s most valuable commodity. The spice trade provided huge profits to the Telerian Empire each year, allowing it to fund both wars, grand civic projects, and peaceful expansion.

However, not all individual merchants involved in shipping spices from their remote islands to Karai and beyond did so well for themselves. Drianus’s family had entered the spice trade seventy years previously, as the Telerians were just extending their control over some of the spice trade, but ill management and ill luck had crimped their profits. Today, only four ships made up Drianus’s merchant fleet, and he was unable to compete with the great Spicer families.

As times grew more difficult, Drianus turned to other ways of making money. The colonies on the Mournful Coasts were self-sufficient but lacking in luxury goods, and Drianus made himself a side-market of catering rich cloth and foods to the wealthier settlers. This business sustained him for a time, and eventually he turned entirely form the spice trade.

Unfortunately for Drianus, the Spicer families noticed the opening of this niche as well, and was again crowded out of his trade routes by those with more ships and greater capacity, and, in many cases, the favor of the Council or the Emperor. They were more able to connect the Mournful Coasts to Telerius, and, to the bureaucrats, that connection was the most important aspect.

In the later years of his life, Drianus sought for a new path to take. His skills as a merchant were not so great as to be able to run a small-scale business and survive, yet he needed to do something, and, in his mind, that something must involve ships.

Late in 1511, a small group of Spicer families had established an outpost on Folus, a large and spice-rich island east of Vallanaja that had been previously uncivilized. Their Imperial charter carried with it funding from the Council for the development of spice plantations and a minor port, and, hearing of this, Drianus knew what he must do.

For the first time in over a decade, Drianus made the long voyage to Teler itself to petition the Emperor or the Council to fund a voyage of exploration east beyond the edge of Telerian knowledge to seek what might be sought. He met neither the Emperor nor the Council directly, though one minor Councillor did speak to him in passing within the Grand Atrium. The Imperial bureaucrats nonetheless issued a charter for his exploration, and he was provided with a small sum from the Empire’s treasury. He was told that the Empire could afford no more due to the war, but it would suffice for him to purchase supplies in the Spice Islands.

But a few days later, Drianus set off on his return voyage. In the Spice Islands, he would make his purchases—food, barrels of water, fuel for the ship—then begin his final mercantile expedition, an exploration of the east.
 
[size=+2]Ka-la'i-akea​
[/size]

The Peace Islands​

“There is no doubt that should the common man never stray from the Spice Islands; these tiny dots in the distance would be of no importance. What would the common man care for the beaches? Would he care for the virile forests that run amok? Would he give a thought for those ignorant who dwell upon the ashy plats, those who dwell under the thatched roofs? The answer, my friends, stands before you as clear as those speckled mirages- there, on the same sandy beaches and the same black soil, lay the answers you seek. There is no large source of wealth in these islands, no treasures born to their western sisters.” Johnn vahn Metli, friend of the author.

-Recorded in May of the year 1545
Many years ago, when I was still a young man, I was best by the most remarkable of adventures- the kind any young man would have given his life for. You may laugh at those words if you ever chance upon this tome, but I shall forever stand by them. When you know my story, you may call be cracked, even senile if you are less than noble with your words, but I shall stand ever the stronger. You may say that my adventure was no special adventure, should you have had the pleasure of hearing of my name before reading this tale, but in the end I shall consider these words more than enough to convince you. For you see, my journey was not special because it was the journey that resulted in untold riches. It was not the adventure of a young man traveling to far off land and braving the natives in a foolish attempt to steal their riches (no matter what those articles said). It was not a mission of utmost importance; for it was not even a mission. You see, my journey is so special to me not because of the ending, but because of how it unfolded. After all, the greatest truth does not lie in the ending of a story- but rather in the message it conveys.

And with these final words before I begin my tale, I wish to leave you with one last reminder. Never, I beg you, forget the sanctity of life. I beg of you, never leave behind the knowledge of those who pass from beyond our reach! Keep those you have loved in your hearts forever and they shall stay with you forever. Should you accept them, they will never part from you- not even for the willing kiss of

Ka-‘au-moana- the Lost City of the Dead

OOC: Done to show that I am still in this.
 
OOC: Thlay, I meant as in updated stats, i.e. how many troops and ships I now have and their morale, etc. I had thought they would be on the first page, but no matter. I'll be fine without them, and I know you've already got plenty on your plate.

Stories and diplo forthcoming
 
All will be revealed soon...

OOC: Deadline's up. You will have to do your revealing from jail. And Thylayli I want my stats or more random heads will roll.

---

What do we have here? Another unaffiliated merchant, it seems to be a popular vocation these days. Ever since Buchanan declared a Global War on Guilds their number skyrocketed.


"Look, I'm Metti, but I'm not in the Guilds. Kuurel, Dreningen... not in any."

Right and I'm happily married....with children.


"Your engines have the Kuurel mark sir."

"Of course they do- am I going to make a steam engine large enough to power a ship singlehandedly? I don't like helping them more than anyone else, but there's nowhere else to get one. Damn, you're an idiot!"

Must restrain against the use of violence. Cant get another warning from the administrator.


Al made a few marks in his notepad.

"Your insults are not needed. You ARE aware of why I'm doing this, right?"

"NO! So why in Seraph's name are you detaining my ship?"

"There's a war. Gosica, the URA, and several others have set out to end the Guilds."

What has this guy been living under a rock? I mean for crying out loud even I can afford newspapers and I'm only paid 5.50 crollars per hour.


Zruyk froze as this registered.

"End the guilds? How can a small collection of nations take down the Guilds? They're practically forces of nature!"

How can a bunch of conservatives petition to close down my favorite nuddy bar? God must be a woman. That's how.


"Getting defensive for your patrons?"

"No, damnit! I'm self-employed."

"Well, frankly sir, I'm not buying it. It's my understanding that Kuurel has undercover agents, and your logs are frankly... suspicious."

"Suspicious? Bloody Seraph, you paranoid idiot, I'm a trader. Is it a crime to trade now?"

No, but it would be a crime if I yanked out your jawbone and rammed it into your eye socket....unfortunately.


"Well..." said Al quietly resisting his urge to kill, surprised by the sudden outburst of anger of the insolent trader, "You've made an abnormally large number of ocean-crossing trips. Accompanied with all of the Guild activity in southern Alhaven... I see a connection."

"What about Elesius? They have next to no presence there."

"Look sir, I'm sorry, but the detention order remains in effect."

That's settled then. I wonder what's for dinner. Probably pasta of some kind, or meatballs.....with pasta. Dammit why did I marry that Princepii woman? WHY!?


Zruyk was about to release a massive outburst of expletives, when two distant 'booms' caught his attention. His pupils dilated, and he leapt forwards.

Behind him, the pier exploded into a thousand shards of wood.

AW HELL NAW! Why does that crap like that always happen during my shift? I'll have to file out a mountain of paperwork to deal with this.


Al unholstered his Russel & Clarke revolver and cocked the hammer, pointing it's outrageously large barrel towards the captain of the merchant ship. The captain seemed somewhat unnerved by the gun.

"I know what you are thinking. Would that thing blow off my head clean or would it only splatter my brain matter across the deck? To tell you the truth I'm not sure myself but I'm more then willing to try. Now you are under arrest by the URA Port Authority. Anything you say will be used against you in the court of law."

"On what charges?"

"Dont know. Dont care. It's very likely I'll be absolved of all responsibility even if your innocent. Listen fella I've been more then patient with you, dont make me report you as an enemy combatant. Then you'll end up in such a hellhole that will make you wish that I pulled this trigger right now. So shall we head to your cell or will you make my day?"

"Fine, you rotten bastard."

"Yeah I like you too. Now lets go. Move it! Move it! Move it!"
 
The deadline is on Monday isn't it... :confused:
 
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