Random Rants LXXII - What is wrong with us?

[warpus]

‘Men act, women are’.

@warpus, you're a guy who thinks women should be heard as well as seen. That means you're unlike a lot of the guys that some of these women are familiar with, so they think this is what it takes to get a guy's interest.

Yeah, I get it's gender roles and what people are used to and all that, but it just makes these women look like idiots.

It also makes me feel.. insulted? A bit? It's like "Hey I know you're a guy and guys are superficial and all they like is flesh, so here's some flesh for you to look at, ARE YOU LOOKING YET!??! NOTICE ME AND TALK TO ME I'VE WATCHED DAVID ATTENBOROUGH DOCUMENTARIES I KNOW HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK"

No thanks. Maybe if I was desperate and/or drunk

 

[Kyriakos]

I find this soooo unattractive and so many women seem to do it

Let's say you're in some sort of a public space waiting for something. A girl is interested in you, so she sort of shuffles around in front of you, makes sure to turn around, basically shows herself off to you.. hoping you'll get interested and start talking to her

But it makes me not want to talk to her. What is she, a mute? Well, I mean, it's possible, but most of the time she probably isn't. Why would I be attracted to somebody who can't show initiative and thinks that the best way to get something is to just stand there and hope for the best?

And I mean, I don't presume to think that each time this happens the girl is interested in me.. but.. a lot of times it's just so obvious.. and annoying. It's happened with girls I know too, instead of going after what they want, they instead make sure I can see them, and then they present themselves and wait. It makes me think that they're morons and makes them look far less attractive.

I've had girls sit down beside me, all dolled up, exposed cleavage, sit down beside me, and (probably) hope I start going after them. Then a couple weeks later stop talking to you because they're so frustrated you didn't do anything. Why would I? You're acting like a moron. That behaviour does not attract me, it does the opposite.

This is the norm. In most cultures, apparently, women never will speak first.
Tbh i'd rather put on make-up and shuffle around too.

 

[Broken_Erika]

This is the norm. In most cultures, apparently, women never will speak first.
Tbh i'd rather put on make-up and shuffle around too.

I don't think you'll get quite the same reaction....

 

[warpus]

Luckily Canada is a cosmopolitan mix of many cultures of ways of looking at the world. Women have approached me before, both for romantic and non-romantic reasons. Like civilized people do, they approached me and said hi, and we had a nice conversation.

Women who just put themselves on display and hope somebody will come over and talk to them just come across as needy, childish, a waste of my time, and/or a job for desperate warpus from the future.

I bet they also then go home and complain to their girlfriends that they can only ever find jerks to date. Yeah, if you aren't actually LOOKING and just stand there, you don't get to complain. It's like going to the supermarket to buy some onions, and then just hoping somebody will walk by and offer you some. You're probably not going home with the onions you wanted

 

[Synobun]

Just talk to them, dude.

 

[Kyriakos]

I don't think you'll get quite the same reaction....

Due to sexism & the patriarchy

I bet they also then go home and complain to their girlfriends that they can only ever find jerks to date. Yeah, if you aren't actually LOOKING and just stand there, you don't get to complain. It's like going to the supermarket to buy some onions, and then just hoping somebody will walk by and offer you some. You're probably not going home with the onions you wanted

When life doesn't even give you onions...

 

[Takhisis]

Yeah, I get it's gender roles and what people are used to and all that, but it just makes these women look like idiots.

It also makes me feel.. insulted? A bit? It's like "Hey I know you're a guy and guys are superficial and all they like is flesh, so here's some flesh for you to look at, ARE YOU LOOKING YET!??! NOTICE ME AND TALK TO ME I'VE WATCHED DAVID ATTENBOROUGH DOCUMENTARIES I KNOW HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK"

No thanks. Maybe if I was desperate and/or drunk

After a certain age/maturity level it does feel a little insulting.

Just talk to them, dude.

Let's not get carried away now. warpus ain't The_J.

 

[warpus]

Just talk to them, dude.

Like I said it makes me roll my eyes and comes across as very unattractive behaviour. I don't want to talk to them.

I would if I was desperate and wanted some fleshy flesh flesh and not much else. But I'm just standing there minding my own business, like a Finnish person might

 

[Synobun]

Have you tried using your words to convey that? Or are you expecting them to grok your meaning through your body language?

Walked right into it, man.

 

[warpus]

Have you tried using your words to convey that? Or are you expecting them to grok your meaning through your body language?

Walked right into it, man.

Like I've been trying to explain, I didn't have any reason to talk to them before the "mating dance", and I have even less of a reason to talk to them during or after. My complaint is not that women are not approaching me, as some actually do

I mean, what do you want me to say to them? "You look quite stupid doing that you know". What is that going to help

 

[Takhisis]

I'm just standing there minding my own business, like a Finnish person might

Nobody can really mind their own business as the Finns do. You're probably only a gifted amateur.

 

[warpus]

I know, I think I need to take on a Finnish bus station standing master and become his padawan

 

[Kyriakos]

I know, I think I need to take on a Finnish bus station standing master and become his padawan

What are you doing in Finland? Got lost on your way to some not as small snowed-in village?

 

[warpus]

I am finnished with this

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I know, I think I need to take on a Finnish bus station standing master and become his padawan

C'mon man! You don't get to just declare yourself a padawan. The master has to claim you, after recognizing that the force is strong with you.

Of course, a true master of Finnish own business minding will never notice how strong in the force you are, so you are outta luck.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

It's like going to the supermarket to buy some onions, and then just hoping somebody will walk by and offer you some.

Or anything else. A friend once complained bitterly about the lack of customer service she got in my favorite independent book store in town. She went there because I'd recommended the place, but was upset afterward.

When I asked her what happened, she said they'd ignored her when she needed help. Since that is so unlike the staff there, I asked her a couple more questions, and it turned out that she hadn't actually asked anyone there for help. The way she put it was, "I just stood there with a confused look on my face, and nobody asked if they could help me."

Well, that's just dumb. I told her that the staff there aren't mind readers, and are used to people who prefer to be left alone to browse, but will ask for help if needed. They don't go around intrusively asking people every five minutes if they need help, but just figure if people want help they can come and ask for it. It's not like it was a huge store, and if they didn't have what people wanted at the time, they would order it in. That's how I acquired most of my Doctor Who and Fighting Fantasy gamebooks. This was the only bookstore in town that had a clue about ordering books from the UK.

Well, it was news to my friend that if she wanted help she should approach a staff member and ask for it. I figured that it was probably that she wasn't used to bookstores (she's not a collector like me, or even someone who reads that much) and how most people who shop there prefer to be left alone unless they can't find something.

It's not easy to find that happy medium of staff who are near enough to ask when you need to, and staff who can tell when you'd prefer to be left alone. One clerk decided to ask me three times in the same 5 minutes if she could help me, and didn't seem to understand, "No, thank you." Finally I said, "I already told you twice that I don't need help. If I want it, I'll ask."

Much later I found out that this is one of the things store clerks do when they think they've spotted a shoplifter... keep harassing them in hopes of either catching them or annoying them so they'll leave.

 

[The_J]

I find this soooo unattractive and so many women seem to do it

Let's say you're in some sort of a public space waiting for something. A girl is interested in you, so she sort of shuffles around in front of you, makes sure to turn around, basically shows herself off to you.. hoping you'll get interested and start talking to her

But it makes me not want to talk to her. What is she, a mute? Well, I mean, it's possible, but most of the time she probably isn't. Why would I be attracted to somebody who can't show initiative and thinks that the best way to get something is to just stand there and hope for the best?

And I mean, I don't presume to think that each time this happens the girl is interested in me.. but.. a lot of times it's just so obvious.. and annoying. It's happened with girls I know too, instead of going after what they want, they instead make sure I can see them, and then they present themselves and wait. It makes me think that they're morons and makes them look far less attractive.

I've had girls sit down beside me, all dolled up, exposed cleavage, sit down beside me, and (probably) hope I start going after them. Then a couple weeks later stop talking to you because they're so frustrated you didn't do anything. Why would I? You're acting like a moron. That behaviour does not attract me, it does the opposite.

Don't be a wimp.
You're basically saying that they should muster the courage, while you cannot...or do not want to.
(EDIT: Yes, women should also sometimes do the first step; but there's a difference between "should" and "is", and there's only one way to deal with reality AND to get results)
If they make it obvious, then go and talk to them. There's no other way of finding out if they're nice people or not.
EDIT2: Yes, that's easier said than done. But at some point you realize that there's nothing to lose, and that it's fun . Especially when they make it obvious, then the conversation should already be really enjoyable.

(hey, for me it was never obvious, maybe I should come to Canada...)

 

[Takhisis]

See? I did say that warpus wasn't The_J.

I know, I think I need to take on a Finnish bus station standing master and become his padawan

‘Padawani.’ It is a known fact that Finnish words are made by taking foreign words, whittling down the initial consonants to just the one, and adding an ‘i’ at the end.

C'mon man! You don't get to just declare yourself a padawan. The master has to claim you, after recognizing that the force is strong with you.

Of course, a true master of Finnish own business minding will never notice how strong in the force you are, so you are outta luck.

Actually they do, if you speak the language. I've had quite some practice.

Common greetings and general conversation starters:
Terve.
Äidisi on huora.
Vittu! En pidä sinusta.

 

[Cutlass]

I find this soooo unattractive and so many women seem to do it

Let's say you're in some sort of a public space waiting for something. A girl is interested in you, so she sort of shuffles around in front of you, makes sure to turn around, basically shows herself off to you.. hoping you'll get interested and start talking to her

But it makes me not want to talk to her. What is she, a mute? Well, I mean, it's possible, but most of the time she probably isn't. Why would I be attracted to somebody who can't show initiative and thinks that the best way to get something is to just stand there and hope for the best?

And I mean, I don't presume to think that each time this happens the girl is interested in me.. but.. a lot of times it's just so obvious.. and annoying. It's happened with girls I know too, instead of going after what they want, they instead make sure I can see them, and then they present themselves and wait. It makes me think that they're morons and makes them look far less attractive.

I've had girls sit down beside me, all dolled up, exposed cleavage, sit down beside me, and (probably) hope I start going after them. Then a couple weeks later stop talking to you because they're so frustrated you didn't do anything. Why would I? You're acting like a moron. That behaviour does not attract me, it does the opposite.

It could be not so much that she's a dullard, as that many people just don't really know how to meet people that they are interested in. You might be missing out, not because she's not worth knowing, but because she doesn't know how to approach you.

 

[Synobun]

Kim Kardashian is advising Trump on prison reform.

So uhm, yeah.

Rant.