Random Rants XII: It's Alright To Cry

PeteAtoms · Feb 22, 2009

I've always been a borderline geek, and I regret never playing a pen/paper roleplaying game with other people. I always wanted to, but I feared social repercussions (for being a geek/nerd)...just one of my regrets

Elear · Feb 22, 2009

Pete Atoms said:
I've always been a borderline geek, and I regret never playing a pen/paper roleplaying game with other people. I always wanted to, but I feared social repercussions (for being a geek/nerd)...just one of my regrets

It's never too late to try something new.

Go for it!

CCRunner · Feb 22, 2009

My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!

PeteAtoms · Feb 22, 2009

Elear said:
It's never too late to try something new. Go for it!

I'm a self-hating geek, its horrible. I would, but at the moment, I have no friends or acquaintances that could help me out. Oh well, I'll just keep playing my Baldur's Gate game.

Nylan · Feb 22, 2009

The future is made of virtual insanity

Tee Kay · Feb 23, 2009

When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.

Ace of Gold · Feb 23, 2009

taillesskangaru said:
When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.

I would talk to someone about that. One day you might actually be brave enough.

Elear · Feb 23, 2009

CCRunner said:
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!

Be thankful they at least want you to eat healthy, I know of many parents who don't give a darn and screw up their kids by making them obese

Camikaze · Feb 23, 2009

I have a stressful assessment tomorrow. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Tee Kay · Feb 23, 2009

Churchill 25 said:
I would talk to someone about that. One day you might actually be brave enough.

I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.

I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).

Ace of Gold · Feb 23, 2009

taillesskangaru said:
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.

I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).

Well, its possible to find some more things in life that bring joy. Find more hobbies, get a girl.

Camikaze · Feb 23, 2009

taillesskangaru said:
When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.

You are a socialist. Therefore, by definition, you are not weak and pathetic. It is not a lack of courage stopping you. It is common sense. It is your strength that is stopping you. And I must say that your posts are more evidence that you are not weak and pathetic.

Elear · Feb 23, 2009

taillesskangaru said:
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.

I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).

It's good that you at least get an avenue to vent your feelings. It's healthy.

What I really recommend is you do try very, very hard to a find a good friend who will talk with you and give you an ear anytime you need it, whether online or in real life. What is even better is if they have also been depressed/had thoughts of suicide in the past, since they will understand better than most people. I really encourage you to do it, since this is the same way I have been able to slowly recover from depression (which partially contributed to a huge absence from CFC for me).

Tee Kay · Feb 23, 2009

Churchill 25 said:
get a girl.

Oh if only it was so easy :lol:

I'm usually about as welcome in social gatherings as a cannibal and I never knew how to act around people myself, especially girls. In fact, until two years ago I hardly ever talk to anyone. I was the kid who always was picked last for sport. I was bullied a lot and so I was paranoid/scared of other people.

Tee Kay · Feb 23, 2009

Camikaze said:
You are a socialist. Therefore, by definition, you are not weak and pathetic. It is not a lack of courage stopping you. It is common sense. It is your strength that is stopping you. And I must say that your posts are more evidence that you are not weak and pathetic.

Thank you.

It's ironic I'm a socialist actually since I don't really get along with other people.

Elear said:
It's good that you at least get an avenue to vent your feelings. It's healthy.

What I really recommend is you do try very, very hard to a find a good friend who will talk with you and give you an ear anytime you need it, whether online or in real life. What is even better is if they have also been depressed/had thoughts of suicide in the past, since they will understand better than most people. I really encourage you to do it, since this is the same way I have been able to slowly recover from depression (which partially contributed to a huge absence from CFC for me).

I've been lurking around support sites on the internet. I can't see myself venting to a real life friend though. I guess I'm scared I would lose them.

Camikaze · Feb 23, 2009

taillesskangaru said:
It's ironic I'm a socialist actually since I don't really get along with other people.

Being a socialist merely means that you want everyone to be happy and have equal opportunities. You don't actually have to be sociable. Hence a socialist dominated internet forum? Personally, I hate meeting people.

holy king · Feb 23, 2009

taillesskangaru said:
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

i'd run you over with a car if you really want to kill yourself.

Moderator Action: Warned for inappropriate post.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Nylan · Feb 23, 2009

While I haven't been that far, I do know depression. One way to help is to find good, uplifting music with a positive feel. Sometimes that in and of itself can change a day around.

Spoiler :

holy king · Feb 23, 2009

madness!!!

bhsup · Feb 23, 2009

CCRunner said:
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!

No. Have you any idea how much more difficult it will be for you to deal with excess poundage in your forties compared to your teens? GET FIT NOW!

Random Rants XII: It's Alright To Cry

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