PeteAtoms
FormulaRandom
I've always been a borderline geek, and I regret never playing a pen/paper roleplaying game with other people. I always wanted to, but I feared social repercussions (for being a geek/nerd)...just one of my regrets
I've always been a borderline geek, and I regret never playing a pen/paper roleplaying game with other people. I always wanted to, but I feared social repercussions (for being a geek/nerd)...just one of my regrets
It's never too late to try something new.Go for it!
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When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!
Churchill 25 said:I would talk to someone about that. One day you might actually be brave enough.
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.
My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.
I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).
When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.
My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.
I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).
get a girl.
You are a socialist. Therefore, by definition, you are not weak and pathetic. It is not a lack of courage stopping you. It is common sense. It is your strength that is stopping you. And I must say that your posts are more evidence that you are not weak and pathetic.
It's good that you at least get an avenue to vent your feelings. It's healthy.
What I really recommend is you do try very, very hard to a find a good friend who will talk with you and give you an ear anytime you need it, whether online or in real life. What is even better is if they have also been depressed/had thoughts of suicide in the past, since they will understand better than most people. I really encourage you to do it, since this is the same way I have been able to slowly recover from depression (which partially contributed to a huge absence from CFC for me).
It's ironic I'm a socialist actually since I don't really get along with other people.
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!