When at track practice, the two of us were doing hurdles. I accidentally hurt my leg when doing so, causing the coach to make me hop over a cone 10 times. That's a bad reprensentation.
Earlier that day I was talking to the person who was playing Aladdin (my friend and the dungeon master) when we came by the girl and two of her friends. I didn't say anything, but just blushed and continued talking.
In general I wouldn’t get too bogged down in the day-to-day minutiae of every interaction and what it might mean. It’s sort of like dreams. Dreams feel very profound and very meaningful to you, but they can sound utterly incoherent when you describe them to somebody else. This is because too much of the meaning and importance of various components of the dream are tied up in experiences and associations which only you have, and to get somebody else to understand them in the way you do would take them living your life and having your experiences.
In precisely the same way, only you are in your head. Only you hear your inner monologue, and only you experience 100% of what you are doing and thinking and feeling at all times. And the same applies to everybody else and their experience of the world. So when you mess up at the hurdles and get scolded by your coach, that may feel horrible, it may feel like everybody is watching you and thinking about what a doofus you are. But that’s usually not happening. People are not focusing on you that intently, and if they are, they aren’t necessarily thinking or feeling how you are in that moment.
So maybe it’s bad representation because you messed up and got punished, but maybe she was worried because you got hurt, or maybe she thought the coach was being too harsh, maybe she was admiring that you were trying really hard. But more likely - and this cannot be emphasized enough - she was probably worrying about her own performance, or thinking about the exercises the coach told her to do, or how long it’s going to take to finish the English homework tonight, or how the days are finally starting to get longer, or what’s going to happen on Dance Moms, or something her friend told her at lunch, or whether Caesar of Bread likes her, or literally anything else.
The important thing is not to get wrapped up in these mind games about what she might have seen and what that might mean for whether or not she likes you. Getting overly obsessive about that sort of thing can lead you to self-sabotage. What you need to do is relax, take things as they come, focus on presenting the kindest, friendliest, warmest version of yourself, and act quickly and deliberately once you have established that she’s single, looking for a relationship, and you vibe with her and want to be with her. I had no problem through high school, college, and all of my twenties making connections and entering relationships, and I am no great beauty, and was broke and near-homeless for large chunks of that time. I was simply funny, kind, and I didn’t waste time fudging around not making a move
Do not sit around being chummy too long without making your intentions clear. That’s how you put yourself in the friendzone
How got that trumped? My self-confidence in terms of relations has never been good, girls I was into did not like that and got frienzoned.
So, you can be the guy who makes them laugh, but for going-out-purpouse, they may be looking for other "features", or they may not.
My point is that each girl has one interests, and the rule "make them laugh", does not work for every human being.
You do not get put in the friendzone* because a woman didn’t like some thing or another. You put yourself in the friendzone by presenting yourself as a friend, and never contradicting that impression.
*I am defining friendzone here as an unstated mental category into which women sort potential suitors based on superficial judgments, which preclude said potential suitors from rising to the status of romantic partner.
The error in thinking, in my experience, is usually the belief that if one is simply kind and gracious to an object of their affections, that person will eventually reward them for their good behavior with a romantic or sexual relationship. That they’ll realize romcom style that the perfect man was right there all along. This is erroneous reasoning, for the simple reason that courtship does not generally work this way. “Relationship” is not the upgrade of friendship, and friendship is not the consolation prize for a failed attempt at a relationship. If you present yourself as a friend to someone with the ulterior motive of parlaying that into a relationship, what you are doing is
lying, and so failing as both a friend and a potential romantic partner.
The object of affection has no reason to doubt what you tell them, and so when you at some point way down the line, confess your long-held feelings, or worse, whine about not being given a chance, what they are experiencing is betrayal, which is a good way to ensure you’ll never be seen as trustworthy (an essential component of any romantic relationship). And this goes doubly so if you make a move, are rejected, and insist that you are fine just being friends when that’s not the case.
Being able to make a woman (or anyone) laugh is actually very good advice. A good sense of humor is extremely attractive; it’s far more important to me than looks. I would take a schlubby man who is funny, confident, and up-front (e.g. Stavros Halkias), over a tall, ripped, rich humorless robot any day of the week (e.g. the current Bachelor). It’s just that the up-frontness is just as important as the humor. I can’t read your mind. You’re a big boy; use your words.
scholar.google.com
) and you will succeed. Don’t, and you will fight and struggle every step.
but toecutters got toes to cut.
