Random Rants XII: It's Alright To Cry

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I've always been a borderline geek, and I regret never playing a pen/paper roleplaying game with other people. I always wanted to, but I feared social repercussions (for being a geek/nerd)...just one of my regrets
 
I've always been a borderline geek, and I regret never playing a pen/paper roleplaying game with other people. I always wanted to, but I feared social repercussions (for being a geek/nerd)...just one of my regrets

It's never too late to try something new. :) Go for it! :D
 
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!
 
It's never too late to try something new. :) Go for it! :D

I'm a self-hating geek, its horrible. I would, but at the moment, I have no friends or acquaintances that could help me out. Oh well, I'll just keep playing my Baldur's Gate game.
 
The future is made of virtual insanity
 
When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.
 
When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.

I would talk to someone about that. One day you might actually be brave enough.
 
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!

Be thankful they at least want you to eat healthy, I know of many parents who don't give a darn and screw up their kids by making them obese :(
 
Churchill 25 said:
I would talk to someone about that. One day you might actually be brave enough.

I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.

I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).
 
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.

I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).

Well, its possible to find some more things in life that bring joy. Find more hobbies, get a girl.
 
When I feel like killing myself I've never gathered enough courage to actually do it. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run but I also find it really annoying. I'm already weak and pathetic in everything else that I do.

You are a socialist. Therefore, by definition, you are not weak and pathetic. It is not a lack of courage stopping you. It is common sense. It is your strength that is stopping you. And I must say that your posts are more evidence that you are not weak and pathetic.
 
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

My problem is that I can't control my mood or how I act. I go through alternating period of happiness and depression. When I feel depressed I sometimes need physical pain for it to go away. I'm able to stop myself at the point of actual suicide, but only because I think how my parents would feel if I die.

I try not to think about this in everyday life. Sometimes I play games for hours on end just to make myself stop thinking about my life and what I should do with it (not good for my studies).

It's good that you at least get an avenue to vent your feelings. It's healthy.

What I really recommend is you do try very, very hard to a find a good friend who will talk with you and give you an ear anytime you need it, whether online or in real life. What is even better is if they have also been depressed/had thoughts of suicide in the past, since they will understand better than most people. I really encourage you to do it, since this is the same way I have been able to slowly recover from depression (which partially contributed to a huge absence from CFC for me).
 
get a girl.

Oh if only it was so easy :lol: :)

I'm usually about as welcome in social gatherings as a cannibal and I never knew how to act around people myself, especially girls. In fact, until two years ago I hardly ever talk to anyone. I was the kid who always was picked last for sport. I was bullied a lot and so I was paranoid/scared of other people.
 
You are a socialist. Therefore, by definition, you are not weak and pathetic. It is not a lack of courage stopping you. It is common sense. It is your strength that is stopping you. And I must say that your posts are more evidence that you are not weak and pathetic.

Thank you. :)

It's ironic I'm a socialist actually since I don't really get along with other people.

It's good that you at least get an avenue to vent your feelings. It's healthy.

What I really recommend is you do try very, very hard to a find a good friend who will talk with you and give you an ear anytime you need it, whether online or in real life. What is even better is if they have also been depressed/had thoughts of suicide in the past, since they will understand better than most people. I really encourage you to do it, since this is the same way I have been able to slowly recover from depression (which partially contributed to a huge absence from CFC for me).

I've been lurking around support sites on the internet. I can't see myself venting to a real life friend though. I guess I'm scared I would lose them.
 
It's ironic I'm a socialist actually since I don't really get along with other people.

Being a socialist merely means that you want everyone to be happy and have equal opportunities. You don't actually have to be sociable. Hence a socialist dominated internet forum? Personally, I hate meeting people.
 
I can only talk about these stuff on the internet on places like this where no one knows me. If I try to talk about these things to friends or teachers they won't listen and they will distance themselves away (I have lost several friends this way). I can't talk to my parents or family either because they will either scold me for this sort of thinking or blame my problem on themselves.

i'd run you over with a car if you really want to kill yourself.

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While I haven't been that far, I do know depression. One way to help is to find good, uplifting music with a positive feel. Sometimes that in and of itself can change a day around.

Spoiler :
Here's a little song i wrote,
you might want to sing it note for note,
don't worry, be happy

in every life we have some trouble,
when you worry you make it double
don't worry, be happy

dont worry be happy now
dont worry be happy
dont worry be happy
dont worry be happy
dont worry be happy
aint got no place to lay your head,
somebody came and took your bed,
don't worry, be happy

the landlord say your rent is late,
he may have to litagate,
dont worry (small laugh) be happy,

look at me im happy,
don't worry, be happy

i give you my phone number,
when your worried, call me,
i make you happy

don't worry, be happy

aint got no cash, aint got no style,
aint got no gal to make you smile
but don't worry, be happy

cos when you worry, your face will frown,
and that will bring everybody down,
so don't worry, be happy

don't worry, be happy now...

don't worry, be happy
don't worry, be happy
don't worry, be happy
don't worry, be happy

now there this song i wrote
i hope you you learned it note for note
like good little children

dont worry be happy

listen to what i say
in your life expect some trouble
when you worry you make it double
dont worry be happy
be happy now

dont worry, be happy
dont worry, be happy
dont worry, be happy
dont worry, be happy
dont worry
dont worry be happy
don't worry, don't worry, don't do it,
be happy,put a smile on your face,
don't bring everybody down like this

don't worry, it will soon pass whatever it is,
don't worry, be happy,
i'm not worried
 
My parents have decided on some weird health diet crap. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to worry about that sort of stuff for another thirty years!

No. Have you any idea how much more difficult it will be for you to deal with excess poundage in your forties compared to your teens? GET FIT NOW!
 
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