Dating Advice (from Random Rants 93)

[Caesar of Bread]

Is this the right thread to get advice on how to get a girlfriend or should I search somewhere else? I have a girl in my life that I really like, so if you guys could give advice (this is random rants), that would be great!

 

[schlaufuchs]

Is this the right thread to get advice on how to get a girlfriend or should I search somewhere else? I have a girl in my life that I really like, so if you guys could give advice (this is random rants), that would be great!

Shoot. If it’s not the right place the mods will bump it out.

 

[Caesar of Bread]

Shoot. If it’s not the right place the mods will bump it out.

Do you have any suggestions?

 

[Birdjaguar]

Do you have any suggestions?

Some questions:

How old are you?
What are you doing now: school, job, unemployed, etc.?
Do you have a car?
Is your target girl in Cleveland?
Does she know who you are currently?

 

[Caesar of Bread]

13 (in 8th)
School
WHY WOULD I HAVE A CAR IF I AM 13?
I actually live in Houston, and she does too (It's just a joke that I live in that dreaded land called "Ohio")
Yes (we're in the same history class, track team, and advisory)

 

[schlaufuchs]

Do you have any suggestions?

Suggestions for what? If you like someone you should ask them on a date

 

[Birdjaguar]

Offer to walk he home from school? (is that even possible nowadays?)
Study together
Share History class notes
Do you have a free period at the same time?
Join her for lunch?
In conversation ask questions about what she likes to do when not in school.

 

[Caesar of Bread]

Offer to walk he home from school? (is that even possible nowadays?)
Study together
Share History class notes
Do you have a free period at the same time?
Join her for lunch?
In conversation ask questions about what she likes to do when not in school

Those are some good ideas! She'll probably want to do the second and third with me because I'm a really smart (and nerdy) person.

Suggestions for what? If you like someone you should ask them on a date

And if she already has a boyfriend (in some sense, they have never really gone out together except that one time the two watched Smile.)?

 

[Birdjaguar]

Those are some good ideas!

And if she already has a boyfriend (in some sense, they have never really gone out together except that one time the two watched Smile.)?

Ignore that for now. If that is a problem, let her bring it up. You goal should just be to make contact and keep it going over time.

 

[Caesar of Bread]

Ignore that for now. If that is a problem, let her bring it up. You goal should just be to make contact and keep it going over time.

They seem to be breaking up, so soon would be a good time (especially with one notable saint's holiday coming up...)

 

[Birdjaguar]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Keep things light and casual.

 

[schlaufuchs]

And if she already has a boyfriend (in some sense, they have never really gone out together except that one time the two watched Smile.)?

Then you should move on and find somebody else. Life’s too short to waste time hoping for something you can’t control.

 

[Caesar of Bread]

Then you should move on and find somebody else. Life’s too short to waste time hoping for something you can’t control.

As I said above, the relationship's on the verge of collapse. This could be my chance!

 

[Birdjaguar]

As I said above, the relationship's on the verge of collapse. This could be my chance!

Think of it as practice for your next romantic adventure.

 

[Caesar of Bread]

Think of it as practice for your next romantic adventure.

I already have Sonnet From The Portuguese No. 43 ready.

 

[Gori the Grey]

We're all rooting for you, Ceasar. Hope we'll next be reading about this in the Raves thread.

 

[Birdjaguar]

I already have Sonnet From The Portuguese No. 43 ready.

I'd start with a conversation about TV shows and movies. The Sonnet From The Portuguese No. 43 is way too heavy handed for a girl you do not know.

That sonnet end like so:
...I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

You're 13, and that sonnet is not about middle school infatuation.

 

[Synobun]

As I said above, the relationship's on the verge of collapse. This could be my chance!

Your chance to do what? Even as a teenager, your priority should be to respect the other person. Are you respecting her if you are hoping to swoop in and pick up the pieces? If you are looking forward to her relationships falling apart because that gives you "a chance"?

Teenhood is all about learning lessons, but your approach to this is going to lead to the wrong conclusion or a lot of hurt feelings. You've simplified her existence in your life to only serving a personal want; she is no longer a friend but an acquisition. I see no productive end to such an approach.

You like her. You want to be in a relationship. Do you want to be in a relationship because it's a relationship, or do you want to be in a relationship, specifically, with her? Do you think your perspective on this would show her that you care for her, or would it show her you value only what she can do for you?

 

[Caesar of Bread]

Your chance to do what? Even as a teenager, your priority should be to respect the other person. Are you respecting her if you are hoping to swoop in and pick up the pieces? If you are looking forward to her relationships falling apart because that gives you "a chance"?

Teenhood is all about learning lessons, but your approach to this is going to lead to the wrong conclusion or a lot of hurt feelings. You've simplified her existence in your life to only serving a personal want; she is no longer a friend but an acquisition. I see no productive end to such an approach.

You like her. You want to be in a relationship. Do you want to be in a relationship because it's a relationship, or do you want to be in a relationship, specifically, with her? Do you think your perspective on this would show her that you care for her, or would it show her you value only what she can do for you?

I want to be in a relationship with her specifically. From when I first decided, I wanted us two to be in an equal and stable relationship. I don't want to make her sad.

I'd start with a conversation about TV shows and movies. The Sonnet From The Portuguese No. 43 is way too heavy handed for a girl you do not know.

That sonnet end like so:
...I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

You're 13, and that sonnet is not about middle school infatuation.

I know her somewhat, actually. If I can't do a sonnet or poem, I could go with Wonderwall by Oasis or this song

 

[Birdjaguar]

That's one of my favorites! it may not be one of hers though.