Here are my rants:
1. Turkey sucks. It is bland, has no taste, and feels like sandpaper. It is so dry, and tough. Newsflash: If you have to put gravy on your turkey, does that tell you anything about the crappy piece of meat under that tasty gravy? I simply eat plain gravy, cause it actually has taste to it. No need for us to mimick a bunch of pilgrimish kind of guys who "supposedly" ate turkey. It was the only thing they could probably hunt/catch. We have greater meat options nowdays. You are a moron if you choose Turkey for Thanksgiving.
2. Ok, for all you American Football fans out there. Football sucks. Anytime you get more than 10 rest breaks in a game, you know you aren't playing a real sport. It is BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody cares that you are 360 pounds, will probably die at the age of 60 beacause of being overweight, and can tackle somebody. I, can tackle people too. The differences in sizes of the people tackling doesn't make it more fun to watch or play. Here's a suggestion: Since you NFLers practice nearly every day out of the year, why don't you work on Passing plays instead of Running plays? In case you haven't noticed, Running plays suck, they gain you a mere 3 yds. on the average play, they are boring to watch, and trying to run up the center of the field through 6 350 pound fat guys is not only ******ed, but it is uninteresting. Passing plays, when done right (that is what you practice every day for) gains more yardage. Im no Einstein, but more yardage sounds like a good thing. Trying to run through six 350 pounders is not a good thing. Maybe someone else has made this connection too.
3. I HATE all those fugly people in the mall who insist on walking on the LEFT side of the mall. They are friggin ******ed and deserve to not only be flogged, but burried alive. I don't know if their tiny little brains can't process the fact that they are walking on the wrong side, but frankly, I don't care what their excuse is. To all you people who do this:
a.) You are fat, ugly, and take up the entire aisle. If you are going to
continuously eat at McDonalds everyday, at least spare me the
anger and walk on the RIGHT side of the mall.
b.) You are bumping into people for a reason: You are on the WRONG
side. What don't you understand about this?
c.) This is not England. If you wanna walk on the left, knock yourself
out. Just go to England though.
d.) The mall is crowded, so your fat gludious maximus on the wrong
side of the mall is not helping to alleviate the "traffic".
4. Another thing I hate is those people who have some ill-conceived notion that they are driving some $100,000 car and taking up two parking spaces will protect your prescious car. Guess what, just wait till I get older and you piss me off even more. Then we'll see if my key can resist the temptation of scratching up your entire care. Then we'll also see how much your sh!tty car is worth now. Even if you do this and you are driving a BMW or Mercedes, or whatever, who cares? Those cars suck anyways. You shouldn't have bought one in the first place. You are a frieken girl if you care that much about your car. (No offense to girls, I couldn't use anther word due to "profanity", even though that word would probably be offensive to girls as well). Heres a hint: Either park like everyone else does or buy a pick-up truck. Then I'll respect you.
5. Baked Potatoes. When I hear these words around dinner time, my stomach boils. What is the big deal about baked potatoes. Are you too stupid to realize they have NO taste whatsoever? The leather outer-skin tastes like poop, and loading your potato up with butter, cheese, etc. defeats the purpose of even eating a baked potato? If you have such a craving for butter and cheese, put some on your plate and eat it plain. You don't need a nasty-tasting baked potato to eat.
6. All you people who like sports cars and are proud of yourselves for knowing every kind of import or sports car there is: NOBODY CARES!!!!!!!! You probably will never be able to drive your dream sports car, You can maybe fit one other person in your sports car, They are impracticle for long road trips with other people or your family due to no storage room, thus eliminating your original intent of purchasing it in hopes of being able to speed or race, I doubt you like near the German Audobaun, so your racing days are very limited. And did I mention nobody cares what your favorite sports car is? They suck, nobody gives a da*n. Pick-up trucks are way cooler.
7. I can't stand all those people who prance around in their girly lookin FORD pick-up trucks. What don't people understand about a car name written in cursive, (Ford's signature), being the most pansy thing in the world? You try to act all tough with your "cool" truck, yet you buy the most girly brand ever? Jump off a cliff please. Oh, and just because you can revv your engine extremeley loud, doesn't mean it sound "tough" or "cool". Stop trying to hide the fact that your truck is girly and just plain sucks. Im unimpressed.
8. I can't stand Ultra-Preppy people. They walk around like they are special royalty figures and it is obvious they are preoccupied with their "popularity". Guess what? I don't give a darn about your Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt. Millions of other teens have one too. You are trying to impress me by wearing a shirt that costs 40 dollars and you are trying to make it look like you are rich? I think you are a moron for paying that much for a shirt, and I don't care if you are wealthy or not. In fact, I hold grudges against rich people who flaunt their wealth.
9. Pepsi sucks, Coke is better. Nuff said.
I know I have more, I just can't think right now.
:shakehead
It obviously can't hurt your reputation.
