RB-17: The Hippies

[Zalson]

Dudes... that bites...

I didn't put any rules in about retaking cities... what do you guys think? I'm inclined to say no.

EDIT: Dude, I ain't got no punctuation.

And Bellflower, that write up was soooooo totallly awesome!

EDIT 2: Can't spell neither.

EDIT 3: Don wanna double post, guys. I'd jus' like to make sure we know how peaceful we are... So chime in whenever, I'll let it be known when we all decide together.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

EDIT 3: Don wanna double post, guys. I'd jus' like to make sure we know how peaceful we are... So chime in whenever, I'll let it be known when we all decide together.

Man, if we try to take back San Francisco, that'd be no better than Nixon and Johnson in Viet Nam. People die in war. I don't wanna be no baby-killer.

But on the other hand, San Francisco's, like, Mecca for hippies. Oh wait, we already have Mecca? Whoa...Okay, San Francisco's, like, Shangri-La for hippies. We totally need it.

Maybe just a little baby-killing?

 

[GreyFox]

Hey, man, being Hippy is not being all Jesus right? Like we ain't going to offer our left cheek when someone slapped our right cheek, right?

SO, what does a hippy do when someone rob him of his weeds? Does he fight to get it back, or does him licks his wound and find other weeds?

GoodGrass aint no hippy for more than 3 days, so GoodGrass aint know no jackhorsehocky abt this.

GoodGrass say we get back what is ours.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Hmmm...that Good Grass dude's got a point. I don't know about any WWJD stuff, but it's not really an offensive war if we're still fighting on our soil, right? And SF is still ours in our hearts, isn't it?

Besides, man, I left my papers in that place. I gotta go get them back.

Edit: Hee hee. Made me think of this tee-shirt.

// deleted by Rex //

Edit 2: I really hope that doesn't offend anyone. I'm not terribly religious, so I never know what's offensive. To me, it's a spoof on the commercial, not Jesus. If I'm wrong, let me know, and I'll take it out ASAP.

Edit 3: picture removed for (lack of) taste.

 

[WillowBrook]

FWIW - As a Christian, I'm not offended (of course, I find the WWJD stuff more of a fad than a serious attempt to better understand Jesus and how we should live, so I might not be the best one to comment. )

And if you're taking lurker's comments here, I say, get back SF! This is like some repressive country coming in and taking the real SF and denying it's citizen their freedoms! Just think of those chariots as huge peace and freedom rallies or something.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

OOC: The following was published in The Onion: Our Dumb Century. The Onion is a satire of current events. In 1999, the published Our Dumb Century as a spoof of the NY Times' book of the 20th Century's best headlines.

Hippies, NASA Race for Moon
Friday, October 4, 1968

The space race between NASA and the hippies is more heated than ever, with both of the astronautic super-powers vying to be the first to land a man on the moon.

"NASA will win the race to the moon, and the world will see a United States astronaut, not a longhair, walk on the moon before the turn of the decade," Apollo 10 Mission Director Gus Lance said Thursday.

Despite NASA's confidence, hippie-space-program sources report that the moon will be within their reach in mere months. "Freakonauts have already outdistanced NASA in their high rate of success with manned missions throughout the Tibetan Book of the Dead and cosmic voyages Beyond Total Awareness," said Freedog Osmosis, head of the prestigious Haight-Ashbury Center for Astraldynamic Research. "And current missions are flying higher than ever. Take me, for example. I'm sitting right in front of you. Yet, even as we speak, I'm orbiting at tremendous altitudes."

"We are 12 to 16 weeks away from having all the vibes in place to launch, orbit and land a hippie on the moon," Osmosis said, "as well as to return him safely to a big oversized floor pillow after wear-off and subsequent crashpad re-entry burn." With the Lunar Excursion Module proven flightworthy in recent Apollo test missions, it is only a matter of time, NASA scientists argue, before they win the race to the moon. However, hippies say, a NASA victory in the space race is by no means certain.

"From such early victories as The Byrds' historic eight-mile-high test flight above San Francisco Bay to recent trips by The Rolling Stones as far as 60,000 light-years from home, it's clear that our radical, substance-based approach to space travel boasts significant advantages over NASA's more conservative methods," said space-cadet hippychick Raven Transcendence.
Transcendence added that the hippie space program also enjoys a clear economic advantage over NASA: While the cost of a NASA lunar mission is estimated at $600 million, the hippie space program, she said, can reach the moon with just a a dime bag.

Hippie space exploration, however, has not been without its setbacks. In June, shortly after setting his controls for the heart of the sun, Floyd Commander Syd Barrett lost control of his 50-milligram capsule and veered wildly off course. According to hippie scientist, he is currently lost somewhere near Neptune. The scientists project that the Floyd program will not match NASA's Apollo 8 orbit of the dark side of the moon until the mid 1970s.

"Yes, hippie space travel does have its problems," Osmosis said. "The severe crash-and-burns that follow intense spaceflight can be devastating, and launch windows are dependent on the week-to-week booking schedule at the Fillmore West. Nonetheless, we have repeatedly reached the Sea of Undulating Joy-Vibes, and we're confident that a flower child will touch down on the Sea of Tranquility soon, certainly no later htan the big Woodstock festival next summer."​

Perhaps a "space race" victory might be the best hippy endeavor?

 

[pholkhero]

I do think we should retake the city, but if he offers us peace, we do HAVE to take it. to me, it's the "honorable" rule set ~ this is not offensive war, it is defensive. We can't conquer his cities, for example.

 

[Zalson]

Ok... well then. I think I'd better get back what's ours, dudes. We may be pacifists, but are totally not for getting stomped on.

@Rex: I'm kind of in the same boat as Willow Brook in the response to the ... thing you posted.After all, see my signature. I don't find it that offensive. However, I think that if you thought it might be offensive to someone, why'd you put it up in the first place?

But dudes, Alex is totally going to get stomped on.

More OOC stuff: There's a nice mix of peaceful and crazies in this game...

 

[Bede]

It's Altamont all over again, guys. Let's get us some Angels and keep the pigs out of the Fillmore.

 

[Zalson]

So like, I was chillin' in the royal palace, when Bellflower ran in sobbing and singing.

"Dude, what gives? What's wrong?" I asked so nice as I could.

"Alex is such a square." Well, he said more than that, but I was kinda freaked out by what he said, so I didn't write it down.

So I went and talked to Alex about it, and looked around and saw that, wtf? Like, we don't own SF anymore



So I went to go and talk to him, and he totally told me to bugger off. Didn't even talk to me! Screw him. Also, we're missing a LOT of peoples.

Since he only had one group of archers there (last I checked), I decided to challenge him to smokeout. But he didn't know that I was going to bring another buncha horses to go and retake SF. No one can smoke like a horse, man. We also practiced hunting that day, so I knew how to get rid of my munchies.

So it comes the day of the challenge, and I show up at SF and I see this:



Uhhh, Alex? That's not playing fair. I ain't gonna challenge when he's all shiny like that. It'll kill my buzz.

Then, the next thing I know, the little b*st*rd knocks off the Hookah Meisters. Man! YOU SUCK!



He was bringing you some weed, Alex! He was gonna smokabowl! What gives?

Then, after this, Alex knocks out our new buncha homies, from Mecca. Man, this guy is TOTALLY NOT CHILL!



He is TOTALLY KILLING MY VIBE!

So I go smoke some. Then come back. Then, I decide to try and get us back out bros from SF... looks like time for a little sneak around the back...



So much for being sneak

Hey! I've gotta 'nother great plan! Why don't we send someone out to go get that iron! It's hard. It's cold. It's shiny. Maybe it'll make Alex, like, leave us alone. Forget these effin' horses! I tell the Meccans to get ready to move, dudes!

Also, this sweetly awesome dude named Moses stops by. He told me that if you make there be rules for smoking weed, everyone will stay high all the time! Also, you can set rules for who gets the most weed, based on what they do for a living.

Man this guy is Crazy. But hey, he's got good ideas. Unfortunately, the idea on RULES didn't get to Mr. Douchebag over there, coz' Alex knocked off some of our smokers!

I was so pissed with what Alex had done, that I left before Phez got back from his harvesting trip. So I had to go back and watch Alex bang up more of our smokers. I HATE that guy.

Unless we get Iron, SF is pretty much untouchable. Alex has iron too, but is coming at us with a stack of archers, which me managed to knock down a little with defending chariots. Also I only played 8 turns initially, and then played 1 extra

Thoughts on playing this out, guys? I think it might be impossible, especially without war? Anyway, Pholk's up, we've gottan archeron the forested hill, and I'm trying to chop out that settler. The scout in the south is to find us some place to flee to and also to distract Mr. A-Hole the Great.

The save:
http://www.civfanatics.net/uploads11/RB17-The_Hippies_BC-0325.Civ4SavedGame

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Our fate in Haiku
by Roseblossom J. Simplefitz

Swordsmen, Phalanx rise
to Mecca, bear disaster.
Greek freak seals our doom.

Abandon our dreams,
of Hippy ways spreading vast?
These ideals ring!

But Alex threatens.
Crushing armies approach us.
Archers in Frisco!

What hope have we now?
Which spiritual plane calls,
to ensure our right?

World builder, friends.
In sky with diamonds (bombers),
Lucy's visions lead.

Boat on a river,
(battleships). Alex will chill
with Athens afire!

Kaleidoscope eyes
(modern armor with sentry),
to win back our pad.

These visions, I see,
when Bellflower's shrooms, I eat.
Talk like Yoda, why?

Edit for punctuation. Does haiku have punctuation?

 

[Bede]

Verry, verry good!

 

[pholkhero]

I will grab this tonight and see what i can do with it! Prepare to be surprised!!

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Grasshopper: But master, if I prepare to be surprised, it wouldn't be a surprise.

Master: You still have much to learn, Grasshopper.

 

[Zalson]

Hey guys, if by any chance this doesn't work out... I say we go for the Hippie's Revenge, in RB-18...

Whaddaya say?

I'd prolli tweak the rules a bit.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Hey guys, if by any chance this doesn't work out... I say we go for the Hippie's Revenge, in RB-18...

Whaddaya say?

I'd prolli tweak the rules a bit.

Cast:
Arnold Swartzenhippy
Jet Li-lac
Jackie "Earth Puppy" Chan
Chuck Norris*

(*Chuck Norris doesn't take kindly to sissy nick-names.)

Edit: Being honest, it wasn't the rules that did us in. It was:

1) Essentially wasting research on two near-miss religions. Not slighting you at all, Z. I'd have done the same thing. It just set us back. I had built Stonehenge because we didn't have a lot of options. Some archers would have been nice, but we didn't have the means.

2) Generally a crappy start location. Few resources. Jungle. Right next to Gandhi.

3) The combat luck really hurt us early. How many 70% odds battles did we lose to barbs?

4) Alex's war was really early in my opinion. I didn't think the AI declared this early. (What's our difficulty? Monarch?) At least it seemed early to me.

 

[Bede]

The war was probably my fault for sending the garrison warrior out to explore some more, thus presenting a fat target of opporunity for the Greek pigs.

 

[pholkhero]

What's more ~ i never seen such early aggression from an AI ~ even at Monarch! Crazy Alex! I don't think that it was the variants, either, but just poor luck w/the religions and the draw.

 

[Zalson]

As for changing the settings, I was thinking of this:

I'll do random leaders, and a snaky continents archi-map... i'll set it at temperate, but with the sea level at normal.

Sound grood? I mean, good?

 

[pholkhero]

can we do whatever archi. map is not snaky and not tiny islands?