Realms Beyond Emperor: The DSG's

Ack. I'm away for a week and look what happens.

May be a bit late now, but I'd like to thank Sirian here for all the time and effort you've put in here and over at the Epics, even though I never got particularly involved myself.

Thank you.

--
Jaffa
 
About the "monarchy" quote - the reason you did not get any public support on that issue, Sirian, is that it was, or appeared to be, true at the time.

Your rules argument with Arathorn came right on the heels of your argument with me about playing Epic Six under the 1.29 patch. On that issue, you permitted no debate, period. You said to not even try shadowing under the new patch, despite SEVERAL folks who proposed it. That went a long way towards establishing a community mindset of you as the monarch.

I, at least, eventually relented because of this: I decided that community was valuable and interesting enough that I could live with being a "peon in a Monarchy". In my mind, Arathorn's quote was true then, and I'm still not sure if it isn't now. I mean in relation to the Epics of course, not the RBEs. RBE has been a republic all along, except for the single rule about qualification.

You cite KoP, Griselda, and Charis's involvement in the making of the RBCiv Epics as evidence that the community is a cooperative effort. That's true for the forums and site, but what about the Civilization gameplay? Charis vanished and KoP and Gris didn't even own the game. Sirian had the ONLY say on everything. That's how it worked for the patch discussions and subsequent tactics evaluation discussion.

Arathorn's comment was true at the time, at least as far as any visible issues had gone. That's why you got no support then, and why everyone jumped to welcome Arathorn back. There may even have been an element of subtle satisfaction at seeing the monarch defied.

Later on, RBCiv did become more of a cooperative effort. You asked for input in the discussions about revisions to the tactics evaluation, using the utility programs, for opinions on scoring for one epic, and so on. To me at least, it appeared that your approach to the community had changed, and greatly for the better. That's why we haven't had any arguments since then. ;) I'm not sure what you want to see in terms of public support, but that's the best I can do. Looks like it's been enough for us to mostly reconcile, and enough for you to trust me with the captaincy of RBE4. I apologize for the damage our arguments may have done to the community (and it may have served as an example for Arathorn's arguing against you), but it was an argument I felt needed to be made at the time.

I do agree that Arathorn would do better in confining his arguments to the rules issues, rather than arguing against your character and politics. I realized the damage that the former could do to a community while being completely nonproductive, and that's why I've simply stayed out of any and all arguments since then. I venture to say that may be true for other folks involved as well. This is now far gone enough that I don't care who gets inflamed, so I'll just speak my piece. :)

As for RBE5 itself, I really haven't looked at or cared who started what arguments. Just as far as I can see, Arathorn took your suggestions of game parameters and failed to realize that the RBEs were up for discussion rather than being a Sirian monarchy. A mistake, but one I can understand given the attitudes and mindset that were in place when he withdrew from the RBCiv community. A misunderstanding, but apparently all but unavoidable.

I have to agree with smegged - can you not simply avoid Arathorn in SGs? Is RBE really not big enough for the two of you?
 
I third this. It seems ridiculous to turn your back on a whole community for the sake of one person. I for one spent a significant effort hammering away at Deity games (and annoying my G/F as a result) to qualify for this - it's a disappointment that after all my efforts, that I will not be joining a Succession Game with Sirian, and benefitting from his expertise.

I'm sure I'm not the only one...
 
I am going to add my comments as an outsider from a different viewpoint.
In the history of Civ3 succession games there have been only two series to break 10 games. One is my LK series (a mix of multiple themes), and other is RDB series that died from player overload. The only potential series to break 10 right now is the Killer "K" series, and RBE.

My current LK series are becoming to dependent on a handful of players, and have a potential to die if I don't add some new blood. The RBE games actually have more players then available games, something I haven't seen in a long time. There is clear a need for a source of Deity games, and I don't know who else will fill that vacuum. I know that I won't be that person, so we do need to see the RBE series going with Sirian's successful vision.

It is sad that a personal dispute broke (maybe permanent) the series, but that will happen and can't be avoided. I know that are some groups of players that I will avoid myself, as they could not keep the games moving at any decent clip. Nothing kills a SG faster then no activity, and this doesn't happen with RBE.

Good luck what ever happens Sirian, and the Civ community will miss you if you stay away.
 
Originally posted by LKendter
The RBE games actually have more players then available games, something I haven't seen in a long time.

Sirian if you need any Support just look at how many people had joined the Epics and are happy and eager to play by rules you had worked out. And see how many people are trying to play RBE-games, how many are trying hard to qualify for them.The simple fact that so many people want to play according to your rules is a bigger support for you and your ideas then any wellworded post can give.

Originally posted by LKendter

Good luck what ever happens Sirian, and the Civ community will miss you if you stay away.

Sirian your leaving would be a very hard loss for Civ3 - community

I asked arathorn why he will let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch. I must ask you now the same.

I hope you reconsider and stay with the Epics and RBE.

Rowain
 
It's no wonder you guys get a burnout relaxing with games. You take them so damn seriously. I mean, merely the micromanagement with city tiles is beyond my comprehension. :)

It's just too bad. I liked to lurk and read SG stories. Especially I liked to read Sirian's rounds (Diablo 2 stories too), as he is a nice writer. Well, maybe he will keep a break from gamng and return to some other venture with cool new stories. :D
 
Originally posted by perkl
It's no wonder you guys get a burnout relaxing with games. You take them so damn seriously.

I second perkl's opinion. But what do I know :crazyeye:

Originally posted by perkl
It's just too bad. I liked to lurk and read SG stories. Especially I liked to read Sirian's rounds (Diablo 2 stories too), as he is a nice writer. Well, maybe he will keep a break from gamng and return to some other venture with cool new stories. :D

Perkl, for your information, Sirian really is a writer . I mean that's his job. I might add he's a good writer and always enjoy his writings (not his arguing with arathorn though).
 
Sirian, all this belated appreciation is probably too little, too late, and I expect will not change your mind. As you mentioned earlier, you are getting a bit burnt-out on Civ3 anyway and were thinking of scaling back your commitments, especially with the forthcoming release of Moo3. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to take a break from Civ3 entirely if that's what works for you, potentially a long one, and if that's the case then scaling back your RBE commitments is just a first step in that direction, and would happen regardless of your feelings toward Arathorn. The latter was just the proverbial straw.

Nevertheless, I want you to know that even if we didn't express it directly, there are many people here who valued your contributions to the CivFanatics SG community, and will be sorry to see you go, myself included. The fact that the games you participated in were among the most popular both with the players and with the forum readership is testimony to that. That no-one expressed direct support for you regarding your dispute with Arathorn is a measure of two things: Arathorn is also a respected member of the community, and the dispute was seen as a private matter between yourselves. I for one am not willing to sit in judgement on either of you, and thought it best to let you work it out on your own; hence, I chose not to say anything on the matter, lest I alienate one party or another. I imagine many others took the same approach, and while I'm sorry to see it come to this, I don't really think I could have done anything else in good conscience. Expressing support for both sides might have been possible, but it more likely would just have made me sound like an idjut. :)

To anyone trying to get Sirian back onboard RBE, give Sirian some slack. There's more going on here than just the dispute with Arathorn, if that were the sum of it then Sirian wouldn't be leaving the SG scene entirely. He's also feeling somewhat unappreciated and burnt-out on Civ3. Remove the former, and make an attempt to rectify the second, and you're still left with the third. Moreover, there may be more reasons yet that I'm unfamiliar with. Things have been building up to this point for a while, so it's time to respect the decision and let Sirian move on, if that's what he wants. He may return in time when he's less burnt out.
 
I have no knowledge of what the phrase "Et tu, Brute" actually means, but if I'm not mistaken, I am the certain friend that you speak of. I hereby apologise, in front of the whole community for making you feel this way, and I hope that our friendship can survive a storm of this magnitude. - Smegged

Yes, you're the one, smegged. I accept your apology.

"Et tu, Brute?" is a quote from Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare. At the end of Act II, the Romans conspire to kill their leader. A group of them assassinate him with knives. Caesar, that is. According to the play, Brutus was Julius's friend, but he joined in on the plot. Caesar realized he had been ambushed and would not survive. His last line: "You too, Brutus?"

That's probably the second-best-known quote from William Shakespeare's works, behind "To be or not to be" from Hamlet.

I'm still fond of you, smegged. You're young, young enough that you don't yet realize how much more there is to know than what you already know. You understand a lot, but you overestimate the ratio of what you know as compared to what you need to know to be successful.

The problem with aging is that making mistakes leads to more caution, sometimes too much caution. The blithe enthusiam of youth is more prone to making spectacular mistakes, including some where you smack your head afterward and wonder what you were smoking to have made those decisions, but being bold also leaves room for spectacular success. I believe you will find, over time, that this is your biggest challenge: to temper that enthusiasm with more wisdom, without losing your will to take risks. The mistakes of youth come from too much confidence in one's judgement. The mistakes of maturity tend to come from too little of that confidence remaining. Finding the right balance is a lifelong pursuit that only seems to get harder over time, as you have more and more mistakes to look back on and try to avoid repeating.

Most of the time when you step in to more than you realize, it won't be a big deal. Occasionally, however, it will be. That's why it is important to be careful. Don't assume. You don't have to be afraid to go forward, but you do have to understand that you have impact, and that if you make mistakes you can cause harm. Do your homework, and try to think ahead.

You quoted conventional wisdom, cliche, and platitudes in your post. Consider this an opportunity to reevaluate all of those and see if they are as true as you believed.



Sirian if you need any Support just look at how many people had joined the Epics and are happy and eager to play by rules you had worked out. And see how many people are trying to play RBE-games, how many are trying hard to qualify for them.The simple fact that so many people want to play according to your rules is a bigger support for you and your ideas then any wellworded post can give. - Rowain

I agree that's a form of support, and an invaluable one. Customers. Consumers who desire the product, and loyal consumers who have tried the product and liked it, and keep coming back for more. That allows the group to stay in business, but it is not the kind of support I'm talking about here.

There are any number of possible threats to a business. One of them is competition. If there was a competition going on for the players' time and attention, for their "business", then customer loyalty and volume of participatory support would be the issue of the day. There is also location. If the store being leased to me (CivFanatics forums, Realms Beyond, or my warpcore account) were to dry up, then I'd need to move the business to a new location, and in that case customer loyalty would still be crucial, for folks to choose to take their business to the new locale. Might even need someone with available space to take the business in and give it a home.

There's another kind of threat to a business, however. That's the threat of crime: those who would prey on the business, its owners, its employees, its customers, for their own selfish ends.

In a nonprofit venture like this, the only "payoffs" to the owners or operators come from either the satisfaction of serving for its own sake, or from participation in the very service they are providing. For me personally, both are important. I'm interested in serving others, but not, in this case, as a charity. The situation needs to be win-win, or I'm not going to continue with it.

There are some customers who are a royal pain in the @ss. They come in, they make a lot of demands for attention or special treatment, and they are often much more concerned with their own personal satisfaction than in being responsible with their participation. They seem to believe they are owed a paid level of service, when in fact they are paying nothing, and lucky the owners don't throw them out on their @ss. If they make too much trouble, they might get barred, or... they might raise the "costs of doing business" too high, and see the owner close shop rather than put up with them any more.

Then there are bona fide crooks: those who trash the store for no good reason, who throw a temper tantrum; those who may threaten or assault the employees or owners; and those who make false accusations, who sue without cause, just to extort their way to some unearned benefit.

The consumer has the choice of whether or not to do business. Paying money is the primary way to get a quality product. What happens, though, when there is nobody on the face of the planet who is offering the product that I, personally, desire? I see that I can settle for a different product, or do without, or... I can go out and try to create what it is that I want. I make the product and look for supporters. The kind of support you describe is essential, but the resources that are being expended have to come from somewhere. Charities have to raise money, to work to get people to GIVE THEM the resources they need to operate. Businesses have to generate profit. They have to get the customers to provide the resources (money) in sufficient quantity to maintain the operation, plus enough profit for the owners to decide its worth their while. For a nonprofit group taking in no money from donors, no money from advertising sponsors, and no money from the customers, it is quite simply not enough support just to have consumers. Those consumers also need to volunteer some of their resources (time, work, energy, money, support, and more), in sufficient quantity, or they risk doing without, because the venture needs enough collective support from the community to stay in business.

The support is not owed. It's a choice. Do you want the product enough to do what is necessary to keep it in production? The answer may vary depending on how much support is necessary. However, if the customers are, collectively, "too cheap" -- that is, not forthcoming enough with the resources and support -- they risk losing the group and its products.

Like with Civ III diplomacy, there is a hard value to what the AI's will accept in a deal. If the player is willing to pay 794g but not 1g more, while the AI will simply not accept anything less than 805g, the deal is not going to go through. In a certain sense, looking at the margin between what was offered and what needed to be offered to make it work, it's almost irrational. If you'll pay 794g but it's not worth an extra 11g to close the deal, isn't that taking miserliness to an absurd extreme? Well, real life isn't like Civ III. You don't have an omniscient advisor telling you the minimum price the other side is willing to offer. In Civ III, the AI's will put up with you making offer after offer after offer until you can miser them down to the last gold piece, and there are no consequences. In real life diplomacy, doing that is going to make you some enemies. It's going to lose you some deals. It's going to save you pennies often, but occasionally lead you into wars, seeing whole alliances collapse.

The community was too miserly with its support. When I have someone in the store wrecking the shelves, I need help. I need a lot of help in a hurry. If you all leave me to challenge them alone and a fight breaks out, I may get wounded in the process and either be out of action for a while, or limping through unable to do as much as normal, or I may even close the shop. Just as importantly, if there are loud customers throwing a fit, making accusations or demanding special treatment, they might as well be suing. That imposes a "defensive cost" on me, not unlike what it costs to hire a lawyer. I have to spend (waste?) a chunk of time fending off the lawsuits. If the grievance is real, then I have a responsibility to answer to it, but if it is frivolous, then it's going nowhere at all, has no prayer of going anywhere, and is just draining the (limited) discretionary budget. You all may not have realized it, but you have the power to make a difference with these kinds of issues. You could tolerate less of the haggling on the part of the misers among us; you could actively intervene if someone starts trashing the store; you could take time to express support about policies and ideals you see as productive.

And finally, when it comes to pricing, some lines of merchandise are so new, nobody yet knows what the price ought to be. If I say to the customers, "Hey, we haven't figured out the right price to charge on that yet, so you use your own judgement. Decide on a fair price and just leave the money on the counter while I'm back here tending inventory"... If some of the customers make a bad faith choice, clearly leaving too little money on the counter, and clearly KNOWING they are leaving too little, but only taking advantage of the whole group because they will never, ever, ever pay a bloody red cent more than they can get away with not paying... if you all stand around and let it happen, that's taking away from the profitability of the whole group, and putting all of you in danger of losing the business. This is bad for two reasons. 1) It forces the owners into a position where they can no longer trust the customers to behave like decent, responsible people, but instead have to go through and figure out a fair price for every last item in the store, dramatically increasing the overhead costs to manage the business, making it much much MUCH more likely the whole thing will collapse. 2) The resentment that builds in the other customers who did pay a fair price, and now see they could have gotten away with paying less. This tends to encourage more cheapskating, which is even worse for the business than the added overhead, because it can spiral out of control, feeding on itself until there's nothing left.


In an ideal world, some altruistic soul or group of souls would volunteer to do all the work, expecting nothing in return, putting up with all the hassles, paying out of pocket for all expenses, including those incurred by the crooks, and you could all just play along happy without any need to take responsibility for any of it. Just show up, be a consumer, play, and be happy.

In the real world, it costs to run a group. I can bear much of the costs, but I WILL NOT cut corners. The whole thing has to live up to my standards or I won't continue it. And not one of you here has the right to tell me I should settle for being unhappy with the results but still continue to do the work anyway, because I owe you something. The only thing I owe you is honesty.


Smegged likens my departure from RBE to the closing of my Diablo II page. It's a false analogy. With Diablo II, I took issue with the game company and their policy, and so as to withdraw all my support from them, I closed my website. Some who liked my site persuaded me that there was a better way: that I could protest what I wanted to protest without "punishing all my fans" in the process.

This is different. My grievance here is not with the game maker, it is with the community. There are problems. These problems are not unsolvable, but my way of solving them relies on trust. I need to be able to trust that I'll get enough support when I've got to have it to keep going, and I need all of you to have enough trust in my judgement not to require me to spell out, debate, and haggle over every single decision that has to be made. Each side needs to give enough to the process to make it work. I know you need to understand a decision, what goes into it, what the pros and cons are, to be able to support it. I've offered explanation for every decision that has been questioned. I've been willing to debate any topic at any time. I've listened to criticisms and suggestions, acted on many and been willing to explain why in the cases where I've rejected them. Ideally, there would be unending amounts of time I could devote to removing all ambiguity, addressing every concern, explaining the reasoning behind every policy decision with the patience of Job, refraining from exageration or personal remarks, and rehashing solutions until perfect ones are achieved with all concerns addressed, but of course I can't meet this standard. How much are you folks expecting from me anyway?


I hate to see the whole thing crash, so sometimes I dip into reserves that, frankly, I should not be spending on this. When I choose to do that, so as not to let the standards slip below my tolerance level, we hit this situation. I run in the red for a while, hoping to turn the thing around but coming under more and more pressure to stop spending my energies here, because they're being wasted. Walking away becomes my preferred choice. It's better than watching my work ruined, and it's better than giving too much to this just to keep it afloat. Walking away means abandoning a serious investment, but sometimes you have to know when to cut your losses.

I'm not angry at any one of you for not helping more. You weren't obliged to. I -am- angry at some of you for imposing costs that could have been avoided. Trust is fragile. Sometimes it can be repaired to a functional state (though never restored to 100%) with a lot of work. Sometimes not.

Those of you asking for another chance, for me to come back and trust the group again, are, at the moment, asking for too much. I am not willing to risk it. Maybe down the line, maybe not. If MOO3 is worthy enough, I might try some SG's with it, with some of you (where I'll have a higher enthusiasm factor going, thus have more to put into it) and if those go well, that might be a way to rebuild what has been broken here. In the mean time, I plan to stay away entirely -- not read the games, not comment, and certainly not play. Good luck with the DSG's.


- Sirian
 
As a Lurker, I did want to make a few comments to Sirian.

I am been reading posts on this message board for quite some time. I have, I believe, read every word you have ever written in this forum as well as those on your own site. I have waited anxiously for the next move in many of the Succession games in which you either administrated or participated in. I check the Great Library every few days in hopes that you have something new available to read.

I have felt kinship with those players that grew empires out of the frozen rocks or by marching stacks of artillery across the horizon. I have been riveted to the screen reading about the campaigns of the X-man, the 5-tribes, Joan’s big brother, the environmentalists, and even Aliens! I have come to not only come to know certain people but also have a genuine fondness for those same folks like Charis, Zed, Carbon, Sulla, and many others.

Because of you and these others, my skills at this silly game are significantly better than they would have been otherwise. Though I have no desire to be a deity level player, I feel that I could comfortably win such a game (and have handily on Emperor). Without the knowledge I have gained from your in-depth and insightful posts, I would not enjoy my current level of game knowledge. Beyond being a talented player, you are a talented writer with the ability to vividly express your point. This has made my learning experience so much more enjoyable. Even though I can recognize some of your personality flaws, I can also recognize your sincere desire to create something special.

I can do nothing but offer my thanks for your time in this community and express to you that I doubt I am the only lurker out there that has benefited from your efforts.
 
I have to agree with smegged - can you not simply avoid Arathorn in SGs? Is RBE really not big enough for the two of you? - T-hawk

You're not going to like reading this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I hold you responsible for this mess.

Arathorn and I are both strong personalities, but we also both know how to compromise. We were able to get along fine with just the two of us. Something led him to decide that I was acting in bad faith. I'm pretty sure that something was my interactions with you.

Just look at his move in regard to Iteean and falsfire. Arathorn places a great deal of concern on "feelings". Looks to me like he'd go to the ends of the earth for the lost sheep. In the event that he did not have the resources to look after both the lost sheep and the flock as a whole, he would choose the lost sheep. I would not, I would stay with the flock.

You're the lost sheep that we're fighting over. You're the squeaky wheel. You.

By my estimation, you've single-handedly caused the spending of more hours than twice what ALL THE OTHERS COMBINED have forced me to spend, when it comes to problem solving. You have gotten better over time, but you are still the squeakiest wheel on the wagon, and there were times before Arathorn and I had our spat that you alone almost caused me to pack it in.

I have no doubt that some of the friction between us negatively affected Arathorn's opinion of me. He didn't see it as me treating you fairly, didn't see it as me protecting the interests of all the other individuals in the group by denying you special treatment. I believe he saw it as harsh, as petty, as me not caring about your feelings. In not understanding why I made these decisions, or else not agreeing that they were correct decisions, he started viewing me with distrust, and next thing you know, we're up in arms, each giving the other more and more reasons to be wary.

Would that spiral have gotten started without your match to the tinder? I can't say for sure, but I don't think so. We had plenty of opportunity to start disliking one another before then, but it only happened once you were in the mix. That doesn't make it your fault -- he still chose to attack me -- but given a choice between dealing with Arathorn or dealing with you, I'd choose Arathorn. Even now, with you having greatly moderated your behavior, and me on the outs with him, I have more trust for him than for you. I can at least deal with him, if we could agree on a cease fire to hold some talks. We might not agree on the issues, but when he's not stuck on the idea that I have some sinister hidden agenda, we've been able to resolve all our differences.

With you, it's not a matter of misunderstandings getting out of hand. You're an outright miser. Compromise with you is possible, but only with great effort. Give you room for discretion, you won't take what you truly need and leave the rest, you'll take it all, just because you can. You recognize the value of principles, of self-chosen limits, yet prefer not to set them or adhere to them. You want the limits to be spelled out clearly, in minute detail, and you want to haggle over them at great length. That makes you enormously tiresome to deal with, for me. With most others, I can come to understanding and forge agreements quickly. Not with you, and not even now. I consider all our understandings hard won. It probably looks to observers like I treat you unfairly, but that's just because I know with you, I have to be miserly too. I have to match you miser for miser on every point, in order to reach the same level of fair result that I can reach with others in a few quick, fair, friendly exchanges.

After you betrayed my trust in you on the Big Picture exploit issue, after I granted you several opportunities to set your own limits, to forge reasonable limits -- chances for YOU to set a good example that could be turned into policy, a set of limits that would be to your liking but also get the job done -- I realized that you required me to set the limits for you. So I made sure to set a miserly limit, just to make it very clear to you that it was in your best interests to be more forthcoming and more willing to compromise.


About the "monarchy" quote - the reason you did not get any public support on that issue, Sirian, is that it was, or appeared to be, true at the time. - T-hawk

This is such a fat load of bullsh!t that I can smell it down there in Australia from halfway around the world. The very first thing I did with you was HAND YOU THE POWER TO MAKE A POLICY DECISION. I left it in your hands, with some clear guidance in the form of indications about what we needed the outcome to look like. You made such a monumentally stupid decision that, with great reluctance after several times urging you to reconsider, I had to step in, take that power away from you, and make the decision myself.

The monarchy quips and descriptions are sour grapes. Nothing less, and nothing more. In the United States, we have a chief executive: a president. He does not have the power to make law, nor to interpret law, but he has the final authority on whole ranges of things so long as he functions within the law. All the advisors, department heads, generals, and secretaries can debate at whatever length the president decides, but then he sets the policy. When it comes to certain areas of responsibility, his authority is final. Does that make the United States a monarchy? No. I could go on with this explanation, give several more models and analogies to prove my point. There HAS TO BE some mechanism for making final decisions, or else you end up with the ability to move forward only if there is 100% consensus, and the larger the group, the more impossible a standard that is to meet. Unless a group is to be paralyzed by requiring unanimous consent for everything, there must be a way to reach decisions when there is disagreement. Should we rely on my judgement, which is highly experienced in Civ III game-elements and highly experienced in managing successful gaming communities? With a vested interest in making wise choices that preserve the group I worked so hard to help build? Or... should we just go with the whims of the most squeaky wheel, whomever that happens to be? Or shall we put every decision to a straight majority vote, and give equal voice as our core veterans to newly arriving members who may not have a bleeding clue about the issues as yet? Hmm? Are you really sure you know what you're doing when you start calling for me to be replaced as the mechanism for rendering the final policy? I guess we're going to find out now, aren't we? At least in regard to RBE.


In my mind, Arathorn's quote was true then, and I'm still not sure if it isn't now. I mean in relation to the Epics of course, not the RBEs. RBE has been a republic all along, except for the single rule about qualification. - T-hawk

Ridiculous, all of those claims. In terms of my management structure, policy-making, and leadership style, there is no difference whatsoever between the two ventures.

1) In both cases, I created a setup with a structure, a few rules to define and maintain that structure, and a set of off-limits behaviors in-game to regulate game quality.
2) In both cases, I retained authority over the game contents, leading up some scenarios, leaving room for others also to lead scenarios. For the Epics, "leading a scenario" means coming up with a good concept, organizing clear, effective rules for it, and working with me to fit it into the overall tournament balance, as the way to earn a place for it on the schedule. For RBE, that meant coming up with a roster that could agree on a scenario, and/or a scenario concept that would attract a full roster.
3) In both cases, power to make decisions is tied to trust. What I don't personally lead, I supervise, but the more trustworthy folks there are around to pitch in, the less I have to do to keep the trains running. Those who earn my trust in their judgement, as able to lead a successful venture, get supervised less. Those who are given a chance to make decisions, and end up creating poor outcomes, may see me step in to whatever degree I feel is needed to right the ship.

You, T-hawk, are single-handedly responsible for forcing me to increase overhead on the Epics. Instead of a relationship among equals, you forced me into a parental role by requiring me to set your limits for you. You were like a high school kid handed a credit card. "OK, son, you've got the power in your hands now. Use your own judgement." So you did. You ran up charges to the utmost of your credit limit :eek: and proved you couldn't be trusted with that kind of responsibility. :nono:

You think I wanted it that way? :wallbash: You blockhead.


In terms of your strategy, you're very talented. In terms of your reports, you do a great job, in the upper echelon. I've gotten you around to where we have a workable negotiation mechanism: I set the limits, and you follow them. That is the only option you left to me, and to a large extent it has bled over into screwing up other things, too. You're the only one in the whole Epics community who needed that kind of leadership, but damn if you didn't squeak and wobble so much, that despite my best effort to hold you in check so I could make sure all the other wheels got enough grease, I failed. The Arathorn wheel broke down, and ultimately that was my fault, and now that has led to my own breakdown. If I had been true to my priorities, I'd have sacrificed you completely, moved you on out of there, and then had plenty enough energy to go around for the rest of the community.

I try and try and try and try more ways to contain the damage done by squeaky wheels, and nothing works. God please help me. Somebody, anybody, is there an answer? Letting them have their way doesn't work, I've tried it. Letting them run amok does not work, tried that too. Ignoring them doesn't work. This time I tried flat out to be the parent, and that has worked out very well -- for you. You seem to have gotten what you needed, the structure to have a good time, the limits to keep you from driving your own car head on into a brick wall, the patience to start to figure out how better to get along in an adult setting. You're using better judgement, setting more of your own limits, and having more success across the board. BUT... while this has worked out for you, it has not gone so well for Arathorn and me, and has surely taken some toll on others, too. I don't consider that a success.


The only time I have ever made these ventures work out in a truly harmonious fashion was to involve only mature adults: those who are ready to be handed responsibility without creating a train wreck. Folks that are worthy of trust, who can be relied on to function successfully without constant intervention. Games naturally seem to attract kids, though. Not just kids in the sense of children or teens, but those who lack self-discipline. In some sense, we all fit that bill -- none among us are perfect adults all the time. Someone like smegged is easy to forgive. His mistakes involve lack of discipline, but he is eager to cooperate and works actively to learn from his mistakes. Arathorn I can understand: he's a smart guy used to being in charge. I get Charis, I get Cyrene, I understand Gris, I understand Architect, I get what's going on with Sulla and Jaffa. You, T-hawk... I just don't relate to the notion of using your own rope to hang yourself.


Arathorn's comment was true at the time, at least as far as any visible issues had gone. That's why you got no support then, and why everyone jumped to welcome Arathorn back. There may even have been an element of subtle satisfaction at seeing the monarch defied.

Would you be enjoying yourself more if you were allowed to run amok with wider limits? If you didn't prefer me setting these limits for you, you'd be playing GOTM, wouldn't you? How's that for irony. You want someone else to set limits for you, but then you resent them for it.


- Sirian
 
Sirian, I think that I owe you someting: the support of a fan.

Originally posted by Segal
As a Lurker, I did want to make a few comments to Sirian.

I am been reading posts on this message board for quite some time. I have, I believe, read every word you have ever written in this forum as well as those on your own site. I have waited anxiously for the next move in many of the Succession games in which you either administrated or participated in. I check the Great Library every few days in hopes that you have something new available to read.

I have felt kinship with those players that grew empires out of the frozen rocks or by marching stacks of artillery across the horizon. I have been riveted to the screen reading about the campaigns of the X-man, the 5-tribes, Joan?s big brother, the environmentalists, and even Aliens! I have come to not only come to know certain people but also have a genuine fondness for those same folks like Charis, Zed, Carbon, Sulla, and many others.

Because of you and these others, my skills at this silly game are significantly better than they would have been otherwise. Though I have no desire to be a deity level player, I feel that I could comfortably win such a game (and have handily on Emperor). Without the knowledge I have gained from your in-depth and insightful posts, I would not enjoy my current level of game knowledge. Beyond being a talented player, you are a talented writer with the ability to vividly express your point. This has made my learning experience so much more enjoyable. Even though I can recognize some of your personality flaws, I can also recognize your sincere desire to create something special.

I can do nothing but offer my thanks for your time in this community and express to you that I doubt I am the only lurker out there that has benefited from your efforts.

I am a lurker too, hanging around in these forums since ... I don't know, about half a year before Civ3 was released. Segals words could have been mine (except for my imperfect use of the English language). Let me assure you that you have many fans out there that do appreciate the effort you put into this community. I can not support this by a lot "fan-mail" written by other people, but at least by quoting a post I wrote several days ago (in a completely different thread) and that seems to fit here quite well, although it was addressed to Sullla. You can exchange the names 'Sullla' and 'Sirian', and it still will be completely true:

"Sullla: Slightly off topic, but: Thank you for the effort you put into your web page. You are not only a highly skilled Civ player, but also a great writer and teacher. As a said in my last post, I did not only learn a lot, but did also enjoy reading your reports (it never was like that in schoo). And I have read all of your reports ...
If I should ever qualify for a DSG, it is due to the effort of guys like you, Sirian, Zachriel etc (just to name a few)."

I have played Civ1, Colonization & Civ2, but I have not enjoyed these games as much as I enjoy Civ3. This is not due to Civ3 being a better game, but the fun I have with reading about the fate of civilisations that are lead by people gifted with playing skill as well as writing skill. Among them you combine some of the highest skills (writing and playing) with an incredibly high amount of time investment into the community. Thank you for that.

Physicist
 
You're not going to like reading this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I hold you responsible for this mess.

Actually, it's rather a relief seeing what you actually think of me, rather than wondering "have I made it up to him yet"? :)

Here was my fundamental mistake:

You want the limits to be spelled out clearly, in minute detail, and you want to haggle over them at great length. That makes you enormously tiresome to deal with, for me.

You think I wanted it that way? :wallbash: You blockhead.

I actually, honestly, did think so. I had thought you were interested in balancing the game for its own sake. Exploits like the ones originally listed at RBCiv are what hurt the fun of games like Alpha Centauri (believe me, that game has gaping holes ten times worse than any in Civ 3) for me. But I never had a reason or incentive to try playing such a game without using loopholes - as you know, I can't follow a blurred line. The Epics were a great place for me to try playing within the boundaries, for once.

Please believe me, and I don't know if you will, if I say I had only the best intentions in mind. I had thought I was just helping you balance out the loopholes and such in Civ 3, which I honestly thought you were interested in doing for its own sake. I know you take a fair bit of interest in game theory and structure, and I do myself, so I thought we'd have some common ground there. You even encouraged me at one point, or made a statement that I took to be encouraging - in the Big Picture discussions, you told me "You're certainly our point man for loopholes", and I had no idea that you'd have preferred that I stop. I thought I was saving you work, not causing more of it (hard as that may be to believe.)

RBCiv says on the front page or thereabouts that we enjoy playing games without using exploitive tactics. How then, thought I, can we do that without knowing what the exploitive tactics are? I now understand that you can, but I had no idea back then.

After you betrayed my trust in you on the Big Picture exploit issue

This I do have to dispute. What trust did I betray? Every issue involving Big Picture I brought up on the forum for discussion. I specifically asked whether any or all of the possible uses of it could be considered exploits. I do have to admit I argued some of the points more than I should have. But what trust can you betray by holding a debate? It was AFTER that discussion that I adopted the "you set the rules and I'll play by them" attitude.

It never became clear to me until your first blowup at me on the RBCiv forum how much you actually hated doing all the rules lawyering. Since then, I really have been trying to improve. The only issue I've complained on since then was the early worker buys, and other people did agree that that needed some sort of rule.

Epic Five was probably my biggest loopholey move, using ceded cities on other landmasses to completely circumvent the spirit of the game. And I DIDN'T EVEN WANT MY GAME TO BE SCORED there, but you decided to include it anyway.

I made sure to set a miserly limit, just to make it very clear to you that it was in your best interests to be more forthcoming and more willing to compromise.

I admit I took too long to learn that lesson, but learn it now I think I have.

The very first thing I did with you was HAND YOU THE POWER TO MAKE A POLICY DECISION. I left it in your hands, with some clear guidance in the form of indications about what we needed the outcome to look like. You made such a monumentally stupid decision

Curious - could you clarify this? I suppose you mean Epic Two, when I asked "when does the game become milking"? I couldn't figure out why you'd have Future Tech and AEGIS Cruisers on the scorecard if you'd be expected to launch the spaceship as soon as you could. I thought that you were encouraged to go for that, and I thought that I eventually ended that before it became milking...?

The monarchy quips and descriptions are sour grapes. Nothing less, and nothing more. In the United States, we have a chief executive: a president.

FWIW, the primary cause of the "Monarchy" attitude - at least for me - was the discussions on playing under the 1.21 vs 1.29 patches, which you haven't addressed here. On that you brooked absolutely no discussion whatsoever. You laid down the law and that was it. Other than that, you did invite discussion on almost everything. But that one point was a big sticking issue for me and resonated with several other people.

Your contention - that the patches would turn out to be different games - was obviously vindicated in a big way, but only well after the fact. (And even so, mightn't playing the same game under different patches have tipped us off to the tech rate change much sooner?)

If I had been true to my priorities, I'd have sacrificed you completely, moved you on out of there, and then had plenty enough energy to go around for the rest of the community.

Please understand that, until your first blowup on RBCiv, I had no idea what burden I was placing on you. I (obviously) enjoy discussions on what moves are exploitive and such. I find fun in game theoryish discussions like that, and I had no idea that you didn't. I've tried hard to mend my ways since then, and I hope I've matured at least a little bit.

If you didn't prefer me setting these limits for you, you'd be playing GOTM, wouldn't you? How's that for irony. You want someone else to set limits for you, but then you resent them for it.

I never resented you for it. My only mistake there was in arguing the points after you had already set down the rules (in Tactics Evaluation 1.1.) I had thought the rules were still in a state of discussion (since you had only posted a couple times on the Big Picture issues and nobody else ever had), and you interpreted my continued disputing on the rules as disputing against your right to set down the rules. It was only in the 1.29 patch discussions that I disputed that.

FWIW, I'm not actually a kid (just happen to have a job that lets me browse the forums all day :D ), although this was my first online gaming community of any significant size, so in that respect I was certainly a neophyte. I've learned a lot from the experience, mostly thanks to you. I'll always appreciate the lessons I've learned here on your behalf.



BTW, I'm not in Australia (did you think I am? :cool: )
 
Oh One More Thing, stealing your trademark -

I remember now that I pointed out a bunch of loopholes in Epic 15's setup. Once again, I was only trying to help by plugging the holes in advance. And I really got mixed messages there -- I couldn't tell whether you appreciated the help, or wanted to kill me, or both :confused: I knew by then how much burden the rules lawyering put on you, so I tried to set it up as simply as I could - just "here's the loophole, say no" - and you still said it gave you a headache.
 
Physicist: Thank you for your post. :)


Now my infamous Oh One More Thing (TM) afterthought post.

Some rules can be written easily, imposing little or no cost on the players. Easy to define, easy to understand, requiring little or no indepth knowledge or judgement to figure out. Some rules cannot be handled that way. The issues they govern are too complex, difficult to define. Writing hard rules to govern the latter type of situation is an undesirable option. In order to address the entire problem, in order for the rule to be effective, it ends up having to be written to cover a broad area. Any such rule is a chore to write, a bigger chore to enforce, and takes something positive away from the game. It's a last resort, to be used only if the threat of what it is trying to remove/prevent are so high, the integrity of the entire venture is placed in jeopardy.

A far better solution can be available. If there is a gray area, some issue threatening to undermine the stability of the game because there is, in effect, a hole in the rules, one possible solution is to reach accord on the threat posed and have everyone voluntarily choose to exercise responsible discretion.

I enter into evidence the following two incidents.

When Sulla demonstrated a use of the worker buying option (in the early game, particularly) that was crippling the AI's in his epics games, I took the time to lay out my concerns. Sulla and I agreed that there was a threat there, that there was a problem. We agreed that the issue was too complex, that there were legitimate uses for the option, as well as the fact that overdoing it would wreck the game result. I asked him to use better judgement, to back off that option sufficiently so to remove the threat. Left to his own devices as to how to do that, he delivered a responsible change in his behavior, as did others who were making use of that option. That's how I prefer to address sticky problems: to cooperate on a solution, to present the problem and reach understanding of what needs to change, then let people change. Ask them to solve the problem for us all, on the clear understanding that they have to be responsible about it. Limits have to be set, but if they can set their own in a way that takes care of the issue, I won't have to impose a solution.

When Urug used a bit of ICS at the very start of his brilliant Epic Twelve performance, I saw that as a serious concern. With me fresh off Arathorn's detonation and also worn down by lots of haggling with T-hawk shortly before that, I gave Urug a harder time on this issue than he deserved; but even so, I managed to convey the reasons for my concerns and win his understanding of why this issue posed a threat to the Epics, of why it was important that he not lead the group down the path toward more and more ICS. He got the opportunity to resolve the matter on his own and he has done a superb job. Flawless, even. Since then there has not been any sign from the community of slipping down the slope into the mess of nattering at one another about whose build is too dense or any folks deciding they need to make their builds more and more dense "to compete".

A little trust can go a long way. A broken trust can do no end of damage. I want to point out to everybody here that those complaining the loudest about my leadership are the very ones who have broken the trust at some point, thus causing me to have to intervene to reach a responsible outcome. Naturally they carry a few grievances, and not without cause. But what kind of leadership do you want? One that sets forth principles, gives you a chance to adhere to them on your own, and protects your interests against those who behave irresponsibly? Or would you rather have leadership that tries to get along with everybody all the time, never holds anybody accountable for their decisions, who lets folks bend or break the rules to their heart's desire, lets them rewrite the rules whenever they find existing ones inconvenient?

I don't want to hear the words Monarch or Monarchy applied to me again. They are not accurate, not fair, and not honest. You can expect me to take affront if you use them. In diplomatic terms, their use represent an egregious gaffe that will result in the immediate movement of your personal relations with me from whatever state they may be in currently, to "Furious", complete with my leaderhead scowling at you from the F4 screen, and quite likely accompanied by a declaration of war.


Now, I'm done ranting. :) I hope you all have a good evening, morning, or afternoon, and I'll catch you some other time.


- Sirian
 
Blah. I guess I'm not done yet. T-hawk has questions, more haggling to be done.

I actually, honestly, did think so. I had thought you were interested in balancing the game for its own sake.

I am. I just don't believe it can be done your way. No matter how tight the rules, if any player is minded to seek loopholes, they can do so, and find them. The tighter you screw down the rules with more and more and more specifics, the more burdens and costs and overhead you place on the game. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. New folks look at the list of rules and are intimidated. The fewer rules the better. EVERY RULE HAS A COST. And in the end, those who aren't willing to set some of their own limits, to choose to pass up irresponsible options solely on the basis that it's not in their interests to run up the credit card balance to the max, those folks are going to cause a train wreck anyway.

The game's not worth playing without trust! Imagine if we required every player to record a saved game for every single move they make. Forget that we couldn't do it because you can't save the game in the middle of the production cycle. Imagine that we found a way. Every last move the folks make could be recorded in a verifiable way. Is that worth doing? No. At some point you have to find a balance between verification and trust. Some verification is necessary or people will abuse the system into oblivion, just outright destroy it for total lack of respect, but too much verification is just as dangerous.

Your approach is fatally flawed. Your premise is that "balancing" the game can be achieved by tightening the written rules. Well, it can't be done. You go down that path and you end up where GOTM is at. The only way to avoid THAT fate is to cooperate enough to build reliable trust. That's hard to do, but possible.


I had thought I was just helping you balance out the loopholes and such in Civ 3

Pointing out potential areas of abuse is helpful. Requiring me to haggle with you over every single one, to come to hard written rules so you don't have to use any discretion, is not.

And that's what you don't get. THAT is asking too much. It is asking for special treatment. For everyone else, it's good enough that I say, "Hey, there's a problem here, don't go too far in this direction, OK?" They say OK and choose not to go too far. That's a healthy interaction, and none of those folks see me as a tyrant. You, that's not good enough for you. That doesn't meet your needs. You can't operate in that kind of environment, you need absolute limits set all the way around you that you don't have to take responsibility for. Stick you in a cell, you're happy, as long as you have enough room in there to do your thing.


I knew by then how much burden the rules lawyering put on you, so I tried to set it up as simply as I could - just "here's the loophole, say no" - and you still said it gave you a headache.

Why did you need me to say no? Why couldn't you just say no to yourself? You had all the infomation you needed to make a wise and responsible decision. You even knew what the correct decision was. Yes, this represented more compromise from you, moving in the right direction, but it was still tiresome because it still missed the critical point of self-imposed limits.

By itself, this is a minor point. But it's a minor point poking at a very sore spot. You poke healthy flesh lightly, it's no big deal. You poke sore, injured, battered flesh and even a little pressure hurts a whole lot.

Of course you gave me a headache. You're giving me another one now by asking me to explain and haggle and clarify yet again. You could take what I've written and piece it together. Everyone else is doing that, but no, not you. You need special treatment. Don't you?


This I do have to dispute. What trust did I betray? Every issue involving Big Picture I brought up on the forum for discussion.

You betrayed my trust in Epic Three. You had brought up your list of scroll-ahead and Big Picture options and asked for rulings, prior to that. I said to use your own discretion, and you chose to maximize your use of every one of the options in Epic Three, telling me, "As long as it hasn't been ruled out, I feel compelled to use it". The most egregious was your leaving cities undefended and using the Instant Military exploit. Bah. That was so far off the deep end of irresponsibility that I wanted to cry. In all my gaming days, I've never seen anybody do THAT after I asked them to use their own judgement.

I've never trusted you since. When it comes to discretion, you are a walking time bomb. Impose limits on you and haggle with you until you agree to abide by them, and you're fine. But nobody else requires that. Just you. You, the squeakiest wheel. I really do believe that my troubles with Arathorn would not have taken place like that if not for you demanding too much of the grease.


You're not from Australia? I've been keeping track... Elric, smegged, T-hawk... No? Not T-hawk? Hmm. Then I have no clue where you're from and probably mixed you up with someone else on that score. I'm sorry. You should know, however, that I have not mixed you up in regard to my treatment of you. Where you're getting flak from me, it is correctly targetted.

And now for the last issue.


FWIW, the primary cause of the "Monarchy" attitude - at least for me - was the discussions on playing under the 1.21 vs 1.29 patches, which you haven't addressed here. On that you brooked absolutely no discussion whatsoever. You laid down the law and that was it.

Not true. I did hold discussions. There were two issues at stake. One was about the game, the other was about the rules. The issue about the game was whether or not the patch would have enough changes to render comparisons between the results of the different versions essentially meaningless. I held the view that the patch would have that many changes, and my judgement on the matter was upheld 100%. If I had been wrong about it -- and I could have been -- then you'd have grounds for calling my judgement into question.

Those who lead, they take risks when they make judgement calls. I placed a lot on the line with that judgement call, with (as you point out) several people arguing the other way. I proved to be right, and that was not a matter of luck, but of good judgement.

However, that was the lesser issue of the day. Of far more urgency was the integrity of the rules. There were options available for you to play within the rules that were set down. You could have put the Epics first, to play them instead of your SG's and other new-patch commitments. You could have done what Arathorn did, and install a second instance of the game temporarily. Or you could skip the Epics in question and go on to the new patch immediately. You had options. You had the same options everybody else had, but no that's not good enough for you. You need special treatment. You disagree with a rule? Just set the rule aside. To Hell with what that says or does to all the people who DID go out of their way to endure inconveniences so as to play by the rules.

My judgement there was also upheld 100%. I saw you heading for a shortcut. You'd just go ahead and ignore the rules you found inconvenient (having to play those Epics under 1.21) and play a shadow game, get essentially all the rewards without doing any of the work to comply with the rules.

I shouldn't have to explain this to you. I told you at the time, it was an issue of fairness. If you don't yet see that, I can't help you. You didn't see it at the time, didn't give a rat's ass for what harm it might do in setting a bad precedent. T-hawk's personal interests and convenience were your priorities. I knew it, and man did that tick me off. Infuriated me, even. And that you fought me so hard on the issue just made it worse. Everything with you is an endless tedious haggle. I laid out the principles, held a discussion, and you wouldn't sign on board. Everyone else did. Some disagreed with the ruling, but they abided by it. They did not insist on special treatment for themselves, did not decide to "take the law into their own hands" and bypass the rules. Only you made any move to proceed, and yes, I pulled out all the stops to stand in your way.

I asked you to use better judgement. Even there, I asked first, and when you refused, I imposed it on you. I did lay down the law on you there, because I believed it was absolutely essential to the survival of the Epics that I not let you set the terrible precedent of choosing to ignore a difficult rule SOLELY because you found it personally inconvenient.


When Urug posted a report for Epic Six under the new patch, it was a different matter. For him, he was new on the scene, not yet familiar with all the various rules and the context behind them. I was not pleased about it anyway, let me tell you, but I blamed myself, not him, as I had gone around recruiting new players on CF and Poly and not clarified the patch issue enough in those invitations. My fault, my responsibility. He was right to complain about the ambiguity of the rules at the time.

That was different than you because you knew the ruling. You had all the information on hand, but were inclined to insist on special treatment for yourself. That was the difference.

With some things, where there is room to compromise, you and I can haggle and reach some compromises. On that issue, it was make or break. There could not be compromise. Either I let you ignore the rules, giving you special treatment, or I required you to observe the rules. You arguing that the rule itself was a poor one was beside the point. Worse for you, your judgement on the matter turned out to be wrong, justifying (in my view) all of my decisions for you on that issue. I was right about the patch being a serious change, and I was right about suspecting you of looking to take a shortcut.

It was, for me, a matter of keeping my word. I had set up a game under a certain set of rules, without knowing the patch would intervene. Those who had already started playing had placed their trust in me. I owed them something. So did you, but you didn't see it that way. You placed your own convenience ahead of your obligations to your fellow players who had already started the game and could not restart it again under the new patch. The game HAD TO go forward as originally designed.

I said all of this in slightly less detail at the time, but I did say it. My motivation was protecting the trust that players had placed in me among those who had already started to play. What was your motivation? That it was "too much bother" for you to play by the rules, therefore you deserved special treatment? Yeah. And you wonder why I took a hard line on the issue. Go figure.


This is the last time I will haggle with you to this degree. In future, it will be incumbent upon you to demand a whole lot less from me in our interactions if you want to reach understanding, as I will be far more trigger happy about getting up from the table and walking away from deals that aren't worth the cost you insist I pay to negotiate them.

The haggling is costly to you, too. It's more costly than the work it takes to set your own responsible limits and adhere to them. I hope you understand that now.


- Sirian
 
Whenever a topic or thread turns in this general direction, I try to keep two latter-day platitudes in my mind before I ever finish a post.

The first one is: "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." Boiled down to its essence, I am asking myself if I'm going to find myself completely out of my league once I charge in.

The other is one about arguing on the Internet, but it is in poor taste so I won't repeat it here. I mention it because it reminds me to check and see if I actually have something worth saying, or if I'm just posting "me too", being contrary without being constructive, or writing just to come back later and read what I wrote.

I don't know how many posts that I've written out, proofread, revised, and re-checked before I just closed the browser window on them because I didn't feel like I had something meaningful to say. I've got something to say today.

While we're laying our baggage on the table tonight, I need to unload some things of my own. You've said a lot lately, Sirian, but this was the comment that hit me:

I failed you all. I expected a certain level of support, but did not do enough to win that level of support. In that sense, this is my fault. On the other hand, you could have chosen to support me anyway. Each of you could have paid more attention, could have participated more, looked deeper, thought farther through the issues than you did, more carefully considered what was truly at stake, and chosen to trust me a little farther.

I owe you much, Sirian, probably more than you know. It started back right near the beginning of Diablo 2, and I somehow found my way to Yegg's Tavern (by randomly entering stuff into the browser and trying diablo2.com). On the front page of Yegg's Tavern, they linked to your Chronicles of a Throwing Barbarian on the Lurker Lounge, and while the game to that point didn't really "grab" me (I hadn't owned D1 at that point and wasn't really anticipating D2 that much, I just kind of bought it), your tale of Thrower did. And so I stuck with it, and stuck with the Lounge. And from the Lounge I somehow found my way to RBD and eventually fell in with them.

After the Lounge melted down, I lost a lot of interest in D2 for a long time (just now getting back to it, in fact) and for a while I just kind of diddled around without doing much. Eventually, I saw you post somewhere (I think on the RBD forum) about Civ 3 and it intrigued me. I read your account of your first Civ 3 game as the Iroquois, and like your account of Thrower, it grabbed me in a way that just playing the game solo doesn't do for me. Soon after I read that I bought the game all but sight-unseen, with the bulk of the influence on my purchase being your good word and your writeup of your Monarch loss as the Iroquois, and so I followed you here. And once I got a hang of the game, I had a great deal of fun in the SGs we participated in together (RBDs 2, 3, 4, 10?, and Infantry), as well as some fun times with the Epics I played (even when I disqualified myself with a phony peace treaty in Epic 10).

The short of it is, I've come to where I am largely because of you. You inspired me to stick with Diablo 2 right when I was thinking of quitting it after being unimpressed with Act 1, and it was you who convinced me to try Civ 3, even if you didn't realize it. And it is you I have to thank for introducing me, however indirectly, to the company that I now keep. If you move on to MOO3 (once they finally get it out the door), I'll probably follow you there on the strength of your reccomendation, because I've followed you and watched you since that very first day, and I've seen that good things and worthwhile experiences travel in your wake. You are a rare person, Sirian.

And that's what makes that paragraph hurt: the fact that I do owe you so much but didn't come through for you when you needed it. That I didn't realize that you needed it.

To be fair to myself, though, you caught me completely off my guard. I keep looking back and looking back at the third and fourth pages of this thread, and I still don't know how we came from there to here. I realize that way back at the root of this are some old disputes, but I just can't understand how we went from Arathorn waffling a bit on the RBE5 roster to this. To a casual observer (which I suppose I must be since I cannot trace the paths you followed to get here), it just looked like Architect posted a tentative scenario, and at the end asked if things were all right. Falsfire and Arathorn both spoke up and pointed to the gaffe with the preliminary rosters. Arathorn's post was rather busy and some people (myself included) read parts of it differently than you did. I read his "emphasis on the quotes" phrase to mean something entirely different from how you did, in particular. He may have been making a dig at the RBE rules in that, but I don't think that anybody here seriously disagrees with that rule or finds it too onerous. If there's any problem with the DSGs it is that this series has gone from one of a few SG series that offered Deity games to being the only game in town for Deity play.

I could have gone outside of the series and started my own to qualify, but trusting a potluck team of players whose skill level I may or may not know to arrive at a Deity victory is too chancey for me and furthermore I'm leery of captaining another SG after my meltdown earlier this year. And as for a solo game...that's the thing. Do you know how many solo games I have in my Hall of Fame? One. One regent testing game from patch 1.21 (got a goody hut army and snoozed my way to a diplo victory after some early conquest), and that's it. For me, Civ3 is a game that, while I enjoy it, I can't just play it for myself, I need to be playing it "for" something, be it Epic or SG. I didn't expect you to realize it, but what made me go off so badly in my PTW thread back on the RBCiv forum was when you suggested that playing a solo game to get a feel for it would be more rewarding. I really felt like I was going to be squeezed out of Civ 3 until January or later because I feared that once you expanded you couldn't go back, and I wasn't terribly interested in MP and not quite ready to commit myself to SGs if nobody was going to go along with me, your comment came off a lot like "why don't you just go play with yourself for a while" at the time. Thankfully Firaxis handled PTW admirably w.r.t. classic Civ 3, and I apologize for the stress that I caused you and my overall bad behavior in that one.

In conclusion, I guess this is me lamenting another case of being a day too late and a dollar too short for for the party. I was hoping that I'd get a chance to play a DSG with you sometime in the future, but I guess I'll have to put that next to playing a game or two of Diablo 2 with you on my list of things that I wish I could have done (I'm still surprised that you and I never crossed paths on battle.net given so many playing partners that we had in common).

Even after re-reading this post, I'm not sure how this is going to come out when I finally commit to it. It has taken me close to four hours to get this far, though, and I need to say something. Perfect or not, defensible or not, relevant or not, I have to put my platitudes aside and just say this.
 
We could go on here forever, of course. I just have one last point I need to make and then I can shut up...

You betrayed my trust in Epic Three. You had brought up your list of scroll-ahead and Big Picture options and asked for rulings, prior to that.

Other way round, actually, because of the spoiler rules. I had done the Instant Military scroll-ahead while playing the game, awhile before posting about it. It was while I was writing the report that I realized how unbalanced and exploitive it could be. I did not intend to betray any trust; it just appeared that way.

I'd also like to mention that my games of choice immediately prior to playing Civ 3 were Alpha Centauri and Diablo 2 (natch.) The former, being much more complex than Civ 3, has many more loopholes, that most of us in the community just used without bothering to enumerate or evaluate them. And the latter, being on closed Realms, certainly encouraged players to get away with anything that the game permitted. Not that this makes my behavior in any way excusable, but perhaps it helps to understand where I was coming from.

I agree with most everything else you've posted now - you hit it right on in pointing out my flawed approach. I just wish I had realized that or you had realized to tell me way back when... :(

As for the patches argument (OK, I have more than one point) - I couldn't reconcile the fact that you wanted to leave grey areas in the game rules while slamming down an ironclad rule on the patches. That confused me, and I wasn't the only one.

That apparent inconsistency from you - both positions were justifiable, but still inconsistent with each other - is what triggered Arathorn's indignation in the first place, with his remarks that the rules were whatever Sirian wanted them to be. Many folks got that impression at the time, which resulted in your lack of public support. I'll sign off with that.

Oh, and I'm as American as you are, although not particularly proud of it. :)
 
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