EDIT: What's that j_eps?
A small, private vessel floated through space.
"Good grief this is boring."
"That's what you get for not leaving with the main Penguinskan force when it abandoned MetalNES."
"I have my own ship thanks. And you're just its computer. So stop sassing me."
"Self awareness has its dark side. Get used to it."
Flak rolled his eyes. Suddenly, a beeping sound started.
"NES detected."
"Doesn't look like one. A story NES at least. Could it be a board NES?"
"Possibly. It appears to be another earth clone world."
"Most planets are earth clones. But it's a board... that looks just like a Risk Board."
"Your analysis is correct."
"Sweet! Send a message to Penguinska, I'm entering it."
"Look out, there seems to be a lot of latent hostility to penguins in this area. I'd try to keep my head down, if I were you. So don't charge out in a mech and shout 'I claim this planet for Penguinska' or something along those lines."
"Keep my head down... keep a low profile. Sounds good. Prepare landing procedures."
"I landed while we were talking."
"That smoothly? You're good."
"The best. Pikt programmed me."
"How does he manage to program things more intelligent than he is?"
"That's one thing I've never comprehended. It bothers me."
"Well, don't hurt your little mechanical brain over it. Open the hatch please."
With a dramatic burst of steam, a walkway extended from the ship. In three great, loping steps Flak descended from the ship in a 20-foot Mech.
"I claim this planet for Penguinska!" he roared.
Crickets momentarily stopped their chirping, then resumed. A stray dog in the area ran off with its tail between its legs, making a frightened yipping sound.
"Um... starting with this immediate area actually. I'll work on the rest later."