Roll to Dodge: Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster Edition

[SouthernKing]

I grab some supplies, activate the gate, and walk through.

 

[JohannaK]

I resize the railgun to pistol size.
I make myself a robotic left arm with my railgun integrated.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I get the party STAAARTEEED

 

[W|M]

I go to Belarus and become ruler there as consolation for being thwarted in my Russian coup.

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I summon 100% Pure Epicness, which douses the flames and fixes the Flux Capacitor.

 

[NinjaCow64]

I use my super liver powers to make time travel physically impossible.

 

[Omega124]

I use more Zen magic to change the ability granted to give me a second life if I die.

 

[SamSniped]

i learn how to be a master with my sword

 

[LordNwahs6]

I join and start break-dancing in an embarrassing fashion.

 

[Buddhafish]

I join and steal a laser cannon

 

[KaiserElectric]

i learn how to be a master with my sword

(11) You focus your efforts to become one with the sword and gain +1 to all actions with the sword.

I summon 100% Pure Epicness, which douses the flames and fixes the Flux Capacitor.

(14) Your flaming pants are quaffed by the epic.

I make myself a robotic left arm with my railgun integrated.

(13+1=14) That's one sexy railgun arm you got there.

I use more Zen magic to change the ability granted to give me a second life if I die.

(11) And boom goes the dynamite. (You gain Second Chance)

I watch the grass grow.

Okay. (3)

I grab some supplies, activate the gate, and walk through.

(8) You walk through the gate and appear on the other side of the same gate. You kick yourself for being too literal.

I use my super liver powers to make time travel physically impossible.

(5+1=6) You tamper with the laws of physics, which remain unchanged and instead tamper with you. Your liver doesn't heal you this turn.

I go to the DMV.

Yaay! (3)

I go to Belarus and become ruler there as consolation for being thwarted in my Russian coup.

(14) The nation is happy to let you lead them against the pencil-necked commies across the way.

I roundhouse Yoshi

(15) Ka-thwak! Yoshi takes 5 damage.

I get the party STAAARTEEED

(9) The party is over. Great timing, ace.

I join and start break-dancing in an embarrassing fashion.

(14) It's not that embarrassing. Your impressive style grants you a reroll for your next roll below 11.

I join and steal a laser cannon

(13) You aren't manly enough to swipe a giant laser cannon, but you do manage to pocket a laser pistol.

Random Event:

It seems the D1C3 G0D was entirely too nice to you guys this round. Next round will be a Jinx Round. Any roll 11 or above has a 50% chance of being rerolled!

 

[W|M]

I get Belorussian spies to shoot Ninjacow's liver.

 

[JohannaK]

I implant my arm in the right place (I assumed you would see it implicit in the former action, but not removing the penalty...)

 

[LordNwahs6]

I go to the military yard sale to get a tank.

 

[KaiserElectric]

I implant my arm in the right place (I assumed you would see it implicit in the former action, but not removing the penalty...)

It's already attached to your body.

 

[SamSniped]

Abiding by my truce with JoanK, I slice off METY's arms. No Time Travel for you!

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

The D1C3 G0D is impressed by the Epicness I summoned, and fixes the Flux Capacitor.

 

[NinjaCow64]

Using political power and my close friendship with the Russian President, I make the nation of Bellrus collapse, leaving WIM in ruins. LITERATELY.

 

[JohannaK]

It's already attached to your body.

Ah, good then. But I still have a penalty for 2-hands actions?

@SamSniped: Sure

 

[Optical]

I realise I missed a round, and go and have a coffee.