II. When Poseidon Beckons
I suppose it will be easier for you readers and mentors to help me and anyone else who is following just to learn something if I posted the actual turn instead of the year. Therefore, the English calendar would not be officially marked in BCs or ADs, but in Turns After 4000, or simply 'Turns'. However, the Englisfolk WILL have their Queen impaled if she changes THEIR calendars as well, so you may find the normal BC-AD calendar still in use 
On the eve of the 23rd Turn, the Year 3080 Before Christ was born, Elizabeth awoke from her slumber, gleefully smiling at her dream. She would honour her people today by proclaiming that she herself would follow their traditions (bar their calendar system, she still liked the one she devised and no pea-brained peasant can change that, let alone match her wits) and would walk and talk amongst them, even dining in their houses and sharing their beef stew. She would behave like a peasant (for one day) and show her people how much she valued and loved them: she became the Traditional idea of the perfect queen, watching and caring for her poor peasant workers (slaves, she muttered to herself), accustoming herself to their work and most importantly, is willing to share her treasury willingly. Thus, she walked the streets of London and showered the peasants with gems (no gold or silver though since she can't find any, and if she DID have them, why would she give them away?), gave cows and bulls to the people who barely have anything to eat and even took the widows and orphans under the care of her stewards. Thus, a new era that followed the Traditional (or, rather, utopian) ideas ushered in:
Her people clamoured for a way to ride the salty seas and battle evil dragons who lived beneath it: thanks to her Traditional Queenly walk, her people loved her and were willingly to die for her. Therefore, she gave them what they wanted and ordered her scientists to find a way to make the cows traverse the water.
She also forgot about the shrine to Almighty Father (and, therefore, her gold and silver, which was a great miracle) and instead ordered Sir Robert to recruit a team of brave, young (and preferably stupid) souls who were willing to explore Dido's lands and report to her:
However, having forgotten to build a shrine, Elizabeth attracted of Almighty Father, who decided to chasten Elizabeth with an incursion of barbarians:
Elizabeth wondered why the barbarians plagued her, but she did know that if she did not take care of them, her city (more like her palace
) would be threatened, especially the surrounding land. She thus ordered her army (one-warrior unit, actually
) to march south and bring this barbarian incursion to heel.
The Queen did not want to attract God's wrath anymore and took personal charge of assigning the workforce as to hurry the recruitment of her scouting party and later construction of a shrine, albeit at the expense of the near-stagnation of the populace.
The scouting party had finally finished and the construction of the shrine began: just as well, as Elizabeth's army was being defeated by the Second Scourge of God (the second being a king who led another barbaric, yet more organised, incursion, naming himself Atilla, in either a parallel world, or in this, depending on whether or not you believed the soothsayers.) If her host was destroyed, then England would lay prey to these unwashed warriors: Elizabeth thus ordered her scouts to aid the warrior, who ran back to London, being routed by the black-bannered barbarians.
Meanwhile, on the 28th turn, Elizabeth imagined a new system, a system where laws governed every aspect of her citizens' lives, from how you interact with others to where you go on Sunday morning. She dubbed this 'legalism':
Meanwhile, 3 turns after that, her scientists have finally discovered how to make the cows traverse the water:
In a demonstration run with the Queen, her stewards and subjects, the scientists showed a wooden craft, carved into the shape of a banana, albeit wider and hollow. It contained a long shaft in the middle, bisecting a beam which was held in place at the top of the shaft by means of ropes. From it hung a white sheet with the cross of Saint George painted in red. The townsfolk gasped, but Queen Elizabeth looked bored. This was not the wooden house she saw in her dream: firstly, it was too small, secondly, it contained far too few flags and thirdly, it doesn't seem to be capable of billowing out smoke.
The scientist tried to catch the Queen attention, "My audience, watch as my men drag this wooden vessel into yonder blue ocean and watch as it floats and carries the bovine creature that now sits inside it."
Elizabeth frowned. "I wasn't talking about those cows, I was talking about those stinking beasts", she whispered to her Secretary of State as she pointed to her townsfolk.
With a heave, the boatmen pulled their vessel into the sea. The townsfolk cheered as the queen's scientists bore a smug smile: the vessel did not sink, but floated. The lead scientist waited for the queen's approval, but the queen was nowhere to be found.
Later, upon his arrival in his bedchambers, the Queen, through a letter, asked for a way to more effectively hunt dogs (by this, she meant the stinking creatures the roamed the outskirts of her borders). The lead scientist fumed: "how dare the Queen ignore his discoveries, yet plead like a spoiled brat?" he shouted out loud.
However, little did he know that a spy was listening on the other side of the door and told Elizabeth all that he heard. Elizabeth was MAAAAD
In fact, you can say she had mad cow disease, but if she asks, I don't exist
Back on topic, though. Elizabeth pulled her hairs and jumped up and down, "I gave him an excellent job, and this is how he treats me? Talking behind my back, plotting, and calling me like a spoiled brat?"
...the lead scientist did not see the sunrise on the morrow
Elizabeth then commissioned another scientist, by the name of A. Dork Heatler. Elizabeth told A. Dork what she expected of him, "No name calling, no plotting, you do whatever I say and be content with the meager pay, and most importantly of all, you buy me a new pair of shoes weekly
Enough of that though, I want a more efficient way to kill the pigs by my doorstep!"
A. Dork drew out his sword and proceeded to the nearest guard, who was so fat that he looked more like a beachball
"Not that pig, you fool!" screeched Elizabeth, "I meant the barbarians!"
"Oh, right, your highness."
Elizabeth did not seem to notice his sarcasm. "Listen, dork, I mean A. Dork, I dreamt of long and bent wooden sticks as tall as a man is and can fire pointy sticks farther than my best guard can throw a rock. I want it for my soldiers and more importantly, I want it NOW!"
A. Dork had no choice but to divert his research away from the tanks, guns and the industrial age (for Autocracy, what else?
) to listen to the whims of his foolish queen.
In London, the shrine to Almighty Father was finished, but it was too late: the pigs were multiplying faster than Elizabeth can say the Paternoster. She knew that it was built too late, but she thought that since God appointed her Queen, surely a few barbarians would be easy pickings for him? She commanded the construction of a new vessel, which she nicknamed "Behold my Wits."
In the 37th turn (or was it 36?), A. Dork has shown Elizabeth his invention, a short, bent wooden staff that can fire projectiles up to a certain length, depending on the strength used to pull the sinew tied to it. Elizabeth was not amused, "I believe I asked you for
long, bent wooden staves..."
"Yes, my queen," A. Dork responded, "but I thought that this length would suffice for her majesty."
In a (strange)fit of mercy (probably because she was so sleepy), Elizabeth told him that he can choose his punishment: would he like his right hand cut off or three days and nights in the pillory? A. Dork picked the latter.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth dreamed of a way to relate her subjects with the ground they tilled, which would ultimately result in more food... more food means more people, more people means more production, more production means more ships and archers, and more ships and archers mean more gold and silver. That settled it then:
"Behold My Wits" was finally commissioned in the 39th turn.
Seeing that the pigs (barbarians) were spawning to the north, Elizabeth began recruitment of a force that can utilise the new (albeit not up to standard) weapon that A. Dork had discovered. In the meantime, "Behold My Wits" explored south, to Dido. The scouts were also able to finally break through the barbarian chokehold and began their land trek.
Robert was insolent enough to ask the Queen if he can go, just to, umm, "see" what Dido had behind those curving, snowcapped hills that seemed to beckon towards Carthage itself
That earned him three nights in the dungeons
Finally, in the 41st turn, Dido's borders were revealed:
Unfortunately, the city didn't look too coastal: Elizabeth was not amused
In the meantime, "Behold My Wits" continues her exploration:
A barbarian incursion from north broke down the cow pastures closest to London and made the animals run amok. The worker team was dispatched to repair the damage:
On the 44th turn, the archer battalion was finished: it was sent north to find and dispatch the barbarian insurgents while the construction of a second trireme in the capital proceeded. Finally, on the 45th turn, A. Dork told Elizabeth how he and his team managed to find a way to record her glory and that of England's:
Elizabeth checked the demographics screen above and looked at her placing. She expected this, but she was still not amused. However, what ticked her off was the fact that Robert managed to run off: does the fool not know that his place is here, by her side? Elizabeth assumed that he's currently enjoying himself, exploring the Carthaginian hills and rivers
mischief
with Queen Dido (Die-do, Elizabeth told herself.) Elizabeth was truly not amused
She lay on her bed, gleefully fantasising on how she would torture Dido in front of Robert. She slowly fell asleep.
Analysis follows post.
Better proceed and see what mistake I have been making 
"With all haste, your majesty."
"
" Elizabeth exclaims.
"
Ah well, we'll continue exploring and see what we can see.
Ah well, adaptation of strategy was what we were waiting for in this game and we certainly had it 
Oh, there are also horses to the north, out of reach of the capital, but can certainly be retrieved by a second city (lost the screenshot). I would say that Dido is south of us (where else could she have come from?) and that this is most probably a pangaea map. If it should be, then any invaders would find it hard to assault our citadel over here: only one route in and heavily blocked and if they go the naval way.... 
I'm also thinking of possibly taking a GS with Lib finisher and possibly use it to tech machinery and own the world with Longbows.
